Edit: I decided to change this story to a first person narrative, I felt that it connects the reader (ie, you) more with the story.
I remember the day vividly. I had finally talked him into moving out of his apartment and into mine. He didn't have many personal belongings so the actual move didn't take very long. Sousuke was rearranging the living room while I moved his clothes into the closet when I heard his phone ring.
"Sergeant Sagara speaking... I- I understand... Affirmative."
"What is it, Sosuke?" I asked, going into the living room.
"That was the captain, there is a mission that Mao and Weber are going on and she has requested I accompany them."
"I thought you weren't going on any more missions," I still remembered the pain I had felt when he left for China.
"This isn't specifically an order. It's a favour. They're going into terrain I know better than anyone else in Mithril. The captain offered to send someone to protect you while I'm away."
"Will you be gone long?"
"Negative. Two weeks, three at the most."
"When do you have to leave?"
"The day after tomorrow, first thing. There will be a pick up."
"Okay," Isaid with a hesitant smile. "Well the living room looks good like this and I'll finish the closet and dresser after you go. For now let's just enjoy our time together. I got Saving Private Ryan from Kyouko, I'll bet you'll like that."
Twenty minutes later I was snuggled into Sousuke's shoulder as we watched the movie, a bowl of popcorn between us.
It had been a completely normal day, as was the next day. Even when Sosuke left it felt routine, he had gone on dozens of missions while we were in school. I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him to tell the crew of the sub 'hi' for me.
The first week passed quickly. I kept herself busy with homework and finished putting away all of Sosuke's things. The second week passed by a little slower, I was looking forward to him coming home.
A third week passed.
Then a fourth.
Finally, after the fifth week there was a knock on my door.
"First you're late and now you've forgotten you're key?" I yelled as I made my way down the hall. "Sousuke I'm gonna-" I stopped mid sentence. It wasn't Sousuke, it was Melissa and Kurz. "W-where's Sousuke?" I asked stepping back to let my friends come in.
"How about we sit down?" Melissa suggested, leading me to the couch. Had he been hurt? Was Mithril trying to get him to leave me again?
"We- we don't know," Kurz finally said looking down at his hands.
"What do you mean 'you don't know'?" Kaname snapped.
"There was an attack and we got separated. We thought he'd go another route to the rendezvous, but he never did. We waited as long as we could before sending out a search party," Melissa explained, keeping her voice soft. "We found Al,but no one was inside."
"So keep looking! He's out there and no one is trying to find him!"
"Kaname there's still people searching, Tessa ordered us to scour the area, but no one knows the terrain better than Sousuke. There's hidden caves, crevices in the rock and who knows how many bases that are there from his childhood." Kaname began to cry. Melissa hugged her tight while I cried herself to sleep.
Time passed. Kurz and Melissa stayed with me for a while and even after they left one or both would still come to check on me whenever they could.
I still went to school, only because I knew Sosuke would need my notes when he got back.
That thought kept me going. For me there was no 'if' he came back. 'When' Sosuke came back. I would spend hours laying on our bed thinking of what we'd do when he came back.
A year passed...
Two years...
A third...
"Kaname? Are you ready?" Kyouko asked. I looked up from my spot on the floor. No, I wasn't ready. I'd never be ready for this.
"Want me to brush your hair?" I nodded and let my friend comb out the tangles. "It's grown so long, when was the last time you cut it?"
"Three years, nine months and ten days ago."
"No wonder it's so dry! Kaname if you wanted to grow it out you know you still need to get the split ends trimmed once and a while." I shrugged, it just never occurred to me to cut it.
I had given Sousuke his hair cut and as usual he had offered to cut mine in return. For once I decided to let him, he had done a good job even. I remembered the look of pride on his face when he told her he had been studying.
"Are you going to get changed?"
"No, this is fine." Kyouko glanced at the light blue sundress, it was nice but not really appropriate. Neither was the too big black zip up hoodie, but she didn't say anything. I tied a faded red ribbon in my hair the way I used to and followed Kyouko out.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Over and over again people said that sentence to me.
I hated it, but it was the last respect they could give. I was the closest thing to family Sousuke had, I had to be there to accept their condolences. After all, it was his funeral.
There wasn't really anything to bury, they never found him, so they lit incense and had a token funeral. Photos, spent bullets, Kurz even tossed in a grenade shell as a memento to the trigger happy sergeant. I wasn't sure what to put in despite having all his things. I couldn't bear to part with any of it.
So I put in a stuffed Bonta-kun, smiling and crying as I remembered the day he took the suit.
I pulled his hoodie tighter around me as I watched them lower the casket.
Another couple years passed. Melissa tried talking me into moving and getting rid of Sosuke's things.
"This isn't healthy! It's been five years, Sousuke is gone!"
"I'd be upset if I came home to find someone had gotten rid of all my things," I said softly watching the rain fall, my face pressed against the cool glass.
"I know you keep hoping he'll come back, but you have to look at the statistics. For how long he's been gone and especially where we lost him the odds of him coming back are slim to none!"
"This is all I have left, if I get rid of it he really will be gone," I murmured. I still missed him all the time, but I didn't cry as much anymore. Only when I was alone, no one understood why my grief was lasting so long. "People will forget him, it will be like he never existed. I can't live in a world like that. Sousuke was real! He was real and he was here!" I cried, burying my face in my knees. I felt Melissa put her arms around me.
"I'm just worried about you. You've gotten so thin, you barely sleep. Kaname, Sousuke wouldn't want this."
"I know, but this is all I have. The memories start to fade, I don't know what his voice sounded like any more or remember the little details about him, like the way his eyes would change when he smiled at me."
"I know, I'm forgetting too. Maybe you need some time away. Want to go visit Tessa? You haven't been on the Tuatha De Danaan in years.
"Yeah, maybe," I said. Perhaps being on the ship would bring back memories.
"I have to go back tonight so I'll ask. I'm sure Tessa will say yes though. I'll give Kurz my key so he can pick you up in a week or so, 'kay?"
I said good bye to my friend and spent the next couple days slowly packing. I was trying to decide which shoes I wanted to bring when I heard a key in the door. I frowned, Kurz wasn't due for another few days at the earliest. I went out to the hall and was about to go to the door when it opened.
"Sorry I'm late," he said softly. As though he had gotten stuck in traffic or had just gotten to the movie as the previews finished. He didn't act as though he had been gone for five years. I felt my eyes sting and the next thing I knew I was hitting his chest.
"Y-you better be sorry, Sosuke!" I cried between hits. "You better be." He wrapped his arms tightly around me.
"I'm home." I sniffled and clutched his shirt.
"Welcome back."
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