Always
Just so you know, this is a one-shot Seto/OC story. -
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the character Amy.
As much as I hated to admit it, how I felt about him was as plain as day. From the way I talked to him to the way my expression changed when I saw his picture in the paper or on the television, everything made it oh so very obvious. Obvious to everyone but him and me, that is. Yes, everyone else knew before I even knew. Hell, it was even quite noticeable to Joey, and he isn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.
I guess you have probably figured it out by now, how I feel about him I mean. Though, you most likely haven't the slightest clue who I am talking about. Well, I better just come out and say it.
I am truly, deeply, and madly in love with the famous Seto Kaiba. Shocker, eh? Falling in love with one of the world's richest people, and most likely the world's youngest billionaire, seems kind of strange, doesn't it? Makes you wonder what my real intentions are. I don't love him for the money, I assure you. Actually, his money is why I was not attracted to him when I first met him. In my life, I've noticed rich people tend to be stuck up and think they're far superior to people like me, meaning anyone much less successful in the financial department.
Seto and I started off on such a bad foot. Not only did my lack of money make him think he was better than me, but my choice of clothing was rather to his disliking. Just to put it simply, even thought I greatly despise stereotypes, I dressed in a fashion that most of the students in my high school referred to as "goth" or "emo". I was even occasionally stereotyped as a "punk". Seto said I didn't need to show the world my flaws, which according to him was that I lacked intelligence, common sense, and any talent except for being very good giving men whatever sort of pleasure they wanted. He gave up on the last one pretty quick, for I introduced my knee to his groin five or six times.
As for the other ones, I slowly proved him wrong. During my last two years of high school I worked my ass off to earn a full scholarship to Domino University. It was a full eight year scholarship, including room and board. Yeah, I really meant it when I said I worked my ass off. So much community service, essays, studying… You get the idea. Yet, I someone managed to have a rather nice social life with several boyfriends. Those never lasted long though, and I never understood why.
Then, Yami was kind enough, more like brave enough, to point out to me why I didn't like the guys I dated after some time. I remember that day so well, even though it was so long ago.
"Yami, what is wrong with me?" I asked, leaning over the counter of his shop. I had recently broken up with a rather intelligent boy, who lacked, I don't know, SOMETHING! "Why can't I get attached to any of these guys? Some of them are amazing, but yet I can't grow to love them or care about them the way a girlfriend should."
"Maybe that's because your heart's already taken," Yami said knowingly, and I knew that he had come up with some amazingly accurate conclusion. He was always right when it came to my problems. Always.
I looked at him curiously, almost afraid to ask who he thought I loved. "Well," I said, finally getting up some courage, "who is it that my heart desires then?"
Yami looked at me, as if I had asked him something so incredibly stupid. "You… really don't know, don't you?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. "For Ra's sake, Amy! Even Joey knows! How can you not know?"
I looked at him oddly, trying to figure out who I had been ogling. "Wait," I said, something clicking in my brain. "So everyone knows who I like except me?" Now, how the hell does THAT work out?
"Well, I am pretty sure he doesn't know you like him," Yami replied, playing with a lock of his hair.
I tried thinking harder. Who had my thoughts always seemed to turn to? My eyes widened as realization hit me. "Is it who I think it is?" I gasped.
"If you think it's Seto Kaiba, then yes. You are very much right," Yami replied coolly, as if this was a normal conversation and was nothing all that serious, like, I don't know, finding out you're the exact opposite of captain obvious and you've convinced yourself you hadn't been pining for the world's richest and youngest asshole whom hated you severely.
My head blurred. How the hell had I NOT known? Thoughts of Seto Kaiba passed through my head several times an hour. He was even in my dreams. How had it NOT crossed my mind? No one can be THAT good at being in denial!
"I-I," I stuttered, still feeling extremely overwhelmed, "I got to go. I really need to think." I grabbed my purse and started walking away, almost knowing what my best friend was going to say.
"Don't hurt yourself, Amy," Yami teased. Yes, I so called that.
"Fuck you, Yami," I replied jokingly, flipping him off and feeling slightly soothed.
The morning after that I had an epiphany. I realized I was falling in love with Seto. I was indeed the queen of being in denial.
And I felt so stupid, so utterly and extremely stupid. I was sure Seto hated me more than he hated Joey. At least Joey got more recognition. Half the time, Seto just looked right through me as if I didn't exist. The other half I got to hear about how he was much better than me. I got to hear about how I would make nothing of my life or how I would always just be a dirty street rat. Hell, at least Joey was a dog! I was a friggen rat!
Doesn't sound like grounds for love, does it? This Seto Kaiba I did not love and I knew that wasn't the true him. No, most defiantly not. The true him came out whenever he was around Mokuba, especially when he thought no one was looking. He was always so sweet to Mokuba. He believed in Mokuba, even when what Mokuba's goals were impossible to achieve. He would do anything for Mokuba. Anything! If anyone even thought about hurting Mokuba, he would make their life a living hell. Yes, this was the Seto Kaiba I had fallen in love with.
I knew if I worked on him a bit he could change and start being friendly to more people. I had to open his eyes to the fact that not all people were horrible, which is very difficult to do when you have no idea why they think people are awful in the first place. You don't come born like that you know. So, I would start trying to get him to warm up to me, starting with small talk and leading to, at the very least, becoming a friend he could come too when things got too hard. But, there was one problem.
I didn't have the guts to do it.
I mean, he's Seto Kaiba for Christ's sake. Yes, there was a sweet, gentle, warm heart inside him, but it was surrounded by a few layers of ice and a titanium vault with a combination more complex than a Rubik's cube. Not just any Rubik's Cube, mind you, since I had figured out how to solve the regular kind a long time ago. One of those five by five ones! I believe those are called Professor's Cubes, but that's beside the point! It would be a pain in the ass getting him to even have a decent conversation with me, maybe even harder than earning that scholarship, but Duke wouldn't let me give up.
"Duke, don't you understand?" I asked, very infuriated that he couldn't see my point of view. I plopped down into his plush burgundy couch and sighed angrily.
"Amy," he said, looking up at me from his lap top, most likely working on something to improve his Dungeon Dice Monsters game which was starting to become very popular. "You have to at least try. I'm not going to let you not do anything and regret it the rest of your life."
I looked down, suddenly finding the floor extremely interesting. "I…" I said quietly, my voice reflecting how I felt inside, "I don't think I could handle it if he rejected me. I've liked him for such a long time, and for it to end like this-"
"How else do you expect anything to happen?" Duke interrupted. "What if he does open up to you? What if this turns into something absolutely wonderful? What if you're meant to be together?"
I thought for a moment. These ideas were not very likely, but the very small chance that they could be reality filled me with such joy. I mean, I would have killed just to have Seto hold my hand. Seto and I… together. It was very much worth the risk. What could I possibly lose, anyways?
So I went for it. For around four months I persisted, making no progress whatsoever. I tried finding ways to bump into him, which proved to be rather difficult, but I managed to run into him around 5 times a week. He avoided my small talk for quite some time until I had finally admitted defeat. Maybe we just weren't meant to be. But, two weeks after I had given up he questioned me about it.
I ran into him in a coffee shop. He had entered while I was enjoying my hot chocolate. I glanced up at him from my lap top, on which I was writing some story. I glanced only for a moment, but nothing more. I felt so pathetic, trying so hard for a guy and getting absolutely nothing in return.
"It's just not meant to be," I thought sadly, but slightly happy for it gave me some inspiration for a short, sad love story. It was the silver lining on my dark, depressing storm cloud.
I heard something being set on the table, and I looked up to see Seto's briefcase with him attached to it. My heart gave a little jolt. He was willingly coming near me!
"So, what? No you're stopping with the mindless banter?" Seto asked, and I could tell this really did bother him, even though he was trying to play it off as if it were nothing. He probably hated that he couldn't figure me out.
I arched an eye brow questioningly. Why would he care? I know he has much more important things to worry about than a college-student bothering him for a few months. "I've given up on that, Mr. Kaiba," I said, returning my attention back to my lap top.
"Given up on what, exactly?" he questioned, determined to figure out what my motives had been.
"It doesn't matter," I said, sneaking a glance at the man I was secretly in love with. He couldn't know my full intentions. He just couldn't!
Seto groaned quietly and, to my surprise, took a seat across from me. Now he had my full and undivided attention.
"What is it that you want?" I asked, totally baffled but hiding it very well. Maybe my small talk had paid off!
"I want to know what you're up to," Seto replied coolly, but I still knew he really cared a lot for some reason. But why? "You follow me around for four months and just give up. What were you even hoping to accomplish?"
I felt my heart stop. I could not tell him I wanted to be his and his alone for all of eternity. What could I tell him without lying, but still leaving my main full intention a mystery? "I find you intriguing," I replied truthfully. "I wanted to get to know you better."
Seto smirked. "Oh, I get it now," he answered, a certain edge to his voice. "You wanted to get close to me so I could give you whatever your heart desired, isn't that right?"
"Yes," I thought. "But what my heart desires isn't what you think it is." Aloud, I said, "I don't want your money, if that's what you're thinking." Wow, how did I keep coming up with this shit? Really, being truthful without spilling all the beans was something I was normally awful at. "There's just so many mysteries about you, like why you want to be alone and-"
Seto immediately looked annoyed and interrupted me. "Look, I don't need any support. I can take care of myself! I don't need some amateur psychologist telling me why I'm this way and why I'm that way. I've done just fine without the help of anyone else."
"Then why aren't you happy?" I dared to ask, causing him to become silent. "I know you must have had a difficult life. I know you really don't need much help, but life can be extremely difficult and eventually the weight of the world will collapse on you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone?"
Seto just stared at me, questioningly. It seemed he was studying me, trying to figure out what my real motives were. "Maybe I do," he replied after a few moments of silence. He leaned back in his seat, as if he was egging me to continue the conversation.
"But, why?" I asked, eager to do what he wished. I was extremely happy that he actually wanted to engage in a real conversation with me. "Why would you want to be alone? Even you must get lonely at times." I paused so Seto could have a chance to speak. He didn't, so I continued. "What will you do when Mokuba goes to college? Sure, you'll have the visits but eventually he will fall in love and get married. What will you do then? He won't need you anymore."
"I'll fully dedicate myself to Kaiba Corp.," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But, wouldn't life be so much better if you had someone you love to come home to?" I asked, my hot chocolate long forgotten and a wave of anticipation washing over me.
"…Yes, it would."
Needless to say, this opened up a big window of opportunity. Every Tuesday and Thursday we would go out for coffee in the same little shop, come rain or shine. He would always be there before me, no matter how early I left. I would find him in the table in the corner, sipping on some highly-caffeinated coffee with a medium-sized cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream on the other side of the table for me. He never let me pay him back for those coffees no matter how hard I tried. "Amy, in an hour I make enough money to buy about fifteen of these coffee shops," is what he'd always say." I took his word for it.
Slowly but surely, he began to open up to me. It started with small rants about the idiots that worked for him, but eventually it turned into something much deeper. He started telling me his life story, from when him mother died when Mokuba was born to when Gozaburo died, after robbing him of the remainder of his childhood. Then there were the numerous times his dear little brother had been taken from him. Yes, he had certainly led a troubled life. I was determined to try to make the remainder of his life much, much easier. I would let him lean on me and I would watch over him, even if he never felt the same way about me as I did about him.
That was now something I highly doubted, which hurt like hell. I didn't know it was possible to fall more in love with him than I already had been, but surely enough I did. The more I knew about him the more I loved him, and every day he reveled more and more of his true self. I was terrified if I told him how I felt he would assume the only reason I got close to him was so I could get him whipped to me. I'd prayed he'd make the first move, which, to my disbelief, he did.
It was the first time I had ever been to his house. I was certainly astounded when I first saw it. It was huge and gorgeous with a long, winding driveway covered by a soft, white, fresh winter snow.
I knew by him actually inviting me here things were going to change. I never counted on how much would actually change, though.
We had made our way to his room and were sitting on his bed, talking about nothing in particular. Eventually, a serious topic came up.
"You know, you've been single for a long time," Seto said after a moment of silence. I could tell he was curious as to why I had spent the past year without someone to hold me.
"Yeah, I know," I replied, hoping he wouldn't pursue the issue, but I knew all too well he would.
"Why is that?" he asked me, arching an eye brow. He had a look of confidence, as if he had already known the answer.
"I kind of like someone," I admitted. "I don't think they'd ever like me back. I can't tell you why, though." I sighed and my eyes made their way to the luxurious blue carpet, pretty sure I had just given myself away. "Well, actually, I've fallen in love with this person."
Seto smirked. Yeah, I was sure he had figured out who it was I loved. "I knew it," he said coolly, yet his eyes showed something else. Disappointment? Shit! He knew and he was sad that our friendship would have to end due to the awkwardness! "You're gay."
My head snapped up and my eyes locked with his in shock. "What?!" I questioned, looking at him like he just sprouted another head. "I'm not gay! I'm in love with a man! You really thought I was gay?!" I exclaimed the last sentence. Well, at least he didn't know.
Seto chuckled lightly and muttered something incoherently.
"Huh?" I mumbled, curious what he had said.
"Who's the lucky guy?" he asked, avoiding my previous statement.
Again, SHIT! How was I going to get out of this one? Even If I told him I didn't want to talk about it and he did let it go, he would only let it go for a little while. I'd probably hear about it in an hour, then tomorrow. He would probably even call me as soon as I got home.
But, I had to at least try.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said quietly, my eyes going to the floor. I shook my head slightly so my hair would fall over my face in a vain attempt to hide myself.
"Do I know him?" he asked, trying to narrow down whoever the object of my affection was.
"Yes," I said solemnly. "Extremely well," I added mentally.
"Is it Duke?" he asked and I shook my head. "Yami?" I shook my head again. "Yugi?"
I glanced up at him. "Seto, the boy goes to my friggen boobs! That would be just weird!"
Seto smirked. "Easy access," he said slyly, knowing how to push my buttons. Perverted bastard!
"Don't even joke like that, Seto," I said with venom.
"Oh my God!" Seto exclaimed, his eyes widening. "It's the mutt, isn't it?"
"I do love that boy," I said, my eyes turning back to the floor and I smiled lightly while I added, "but his intelligence is comparable to that of a squeaky toy."
Seto actually laughed at this, giving me a real, joyful, simple smile. I secretly watched through my hair, enjoying the rare sight and sound.
"Really, Amy" he said and I could still hear the laughter in his voice. "Who is it?"
I glanced at him, sorrow showing in my eyes. "If only you could know just how much I love you," I thought sadly. "But, there is no doubt in my mind he wouldn't return my feelings. At least this way, we can still be friends. I would much rather be an important part in his life than nothing at all to him.
"I can't say who it is," I said quietly. "Can you please drop it?" I was so surprised he hadn't figured out who it was. I mean, wasn't it obvious?
Seto cleared his throat. "Can I at least know why you won't tell him?" Seto asked seriously.
"He'd never return my feelings," I muttered sorrowfully. "He could do so much better than me."
"Amy," Seto said, cupping my face and forcing me to look at him. I think his face was closer to mine, or was I merely imagining it? "No one could do better than you."
And then, he kissed me. It was nothing like I had ever felt before. I was engulfed in complete and utter bliss as he touched his soft lips to mine. The kiss was surprisingly sweet and loving and everything I had ever wanted it to be. At that moment in time, nothing else mattered. Everything was right in the world.
But, like they say, all good things come to an end and he pulled away. I froze for a moment, my mind finally being able to register what had just happened. My hand went to my lips as realization hit me. He KISSED me! One of the things that I had wanted to happen more than anything for the past four years had finally happened. It seemed too good to be true. I had to of been dreaming, I just had to be.
I looked up at him, my eyes silently asking him what I didn't have the nerve to ask aloud.
"I'm sorry," he said, barely above a whisper. "I wanted you to be mine for at least a moment before you finally got the courage to ask out whomever it is you love."
I continued to look at him in confusion. What does that mean? Does he just like me, or does he maybe, possibly, love me? I knew he could see the confusion in my eyes, but he said nothing of what the kiss really meant.
So, I took the liberty of finding out myself. I kissed him this time. The kiss was searching, questioning, as if he was trying to figure out the same thing I was. Yet, there was also passion behind the kiss, along with something I couldn't place. Was it love? Lust?
Seto's gaze met mine, full of confidence and yet another unrecognizable thing. "Amy," he said, a twinge of fear evident in his voice, and for a brief moment I was filled with panic. Seto was never, ever afraid. "I love you."
I was sure that for a moment my heart stopped. "I love you, too," I said, feeling a sense of relief and joy washing over me. Oh my God! He loved me! My darling Seto Kaiba loved me! It was extremely hard not to jump up and down a squeal. I didn't even bother trying to contain the grin that was plastered on my face. I figured it was much better than the other thing.
Seto's arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I happily melted into his embrace. The way his strong arms fit around my slender waist just felt so, I don't know; Perfect describes it best. Yes, that is defiantly it. It felt oh so very perfect.
"Say you'll be mine," Seto said through the silence.
"Of course I will," I smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way."
"You promise?" he asked, uncertainty evident in his voice.
"Yes," I promised. "Always."
I truly meant what I said to him. I know I will always love him. I will always be his, no matter what happens. Whether he's right here beside me, half way across the world, or six feet under I will always be his. Always.
After I had graduated college, I proved I would always be his. The day I graduated, you see, he asked me to marry him. I was ecstatic. I believe I even tackled him and attacked him with kisses. I think I was even happier about the engagement than I was about my graduation, and I had been in college for a long, long time. It takes a long time to become a psychologist, you know.
Life was going absolutely wonderfully. The man I had loved for around eight years had been mine for four years, and we were getting married in a little less than a year. I had finally graduated from college, and I was hired at the best Psychology practice in Domino. I was even living in Seto's rather large home. I believe that perfection is the word that described my life best.
Of course, something had to happen to ruin my perfect life.
That certain something happened to be something evil called jealousy and paranoia.
"I don't understand," I mumbled to Joey, sighing angrily. For a while now, I had been coming to him to talk. You see, the more I talk about something the more I figure out what I want to or need to do, which is exactly what I was trying to do. At this moment, though, I just needed a friend to lean on. I was terrified, though I hid it well. "He's been so distant lately. He won't tell me what's wrong!" I rubbed my temples and shook my head. "I'm actually starting to get scared. I mean, I know you think he's a cold, emotionless bastard, but he really does tell me when things are bothering him. I don't know what changed."
Joey waited a minute to swallow the spoonful of ice cream he had just taken, which he insisted I needed for "stress relief". "Are ya bein' persistent?" he asked, his Brooklyn accent becoming more noticeable, like it always did when he was being serious. "Sure he may have opened up ta ya, but that doesn't mean he won' go inta his shell once in awhile."
"I have been persisting!" I exclaimed, slamming down the spoon I was holding. "Nothing's working! What if…" My eyes widened as my worst fears entered my thoughts. "What if he wants to break up with me and is trying to wean me away from him first?"
This time, Joey's eyes widened. "Look, Amy," he said, a determined look in his eyes. "I may think dat rich boy is a complete asshole and all, but I know he loves ya! It's just dat obvious. Guys, especially ones like dat stubborn bastard, wouldn' go from all happy like he was a few weeks ago to wantin' to break up."
Joey paused long enough to eat a spoonful of ice cream. "Ya need ta go down ta his office an' demand ta know what's goin' on! I know this is probably nothing', ya deserve ta know what's wrong wit' your man."
I nodded, and I wanted to believe him so badly. Desperately, I wanted to know he was right but small part of me worried that he could be wrong. But, the last part he said I knew was right; I deserved to know what was wrong with Seto. So after thanking Joey and hugging him good-bye, I got in my car and drove to Kaiba Corp.
"Hey, Honey!" I said as I got into my loves office, attempting to hide just how petrified I was.
"Hello," Seto replied, his eyes never leaving his lap top. Shit! That wasn't a good sign!
I slowly made my way over to his desk, dreading whatever was going to happen. After a few moments, I got the courage to say, "I think we need to talk."
Again, Seto's gaze remained on his lap top. "About what?" he asked coldly, and I mentally winced.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, desperately trying to stay calm. "You've been so distant lately. It's starting to worry me…"
"I'm surprised you noticed, since you were so busy with the mutt and all," he replied, his voice laced with venom.
My eyes widened as I felt fury rush through me. "What the fuck?!" I exclaimed, not even bothering to hide my rage. "You think I'm cheating on you with Joey?"
Seto actually looked up from his lap top this time. "Why else would you be at his house all the fucking time?"
"It couldn't possibly be because he's my friend and I get bored when you're at this God-forsaken place all the time, now could it?" I asked sarcastically. "No, I must be fucking up what's probably the best fucking thing that's ever happened to me!"
"Obviously," Seto replied, somehow calmly but his anger still showing. I always hated how he could stay calm during arguments.
"God," I screamed. "We're getting married in half a fucking year, and you don't even fucking trust me! That's kind of a bad sign, you know!" I sighed angrily. "You know that fucking business trip you have no go to tomorrow? Maybe it's best we don't fucking talk the whole time you're gone!"
Seto scoffed at this. "You want to take a break?" Seto smirked. "Why? So you can fuck Wheeler without feeling guilty?" It took everything I had not to slap him. "Whatever, I'm going to be in Paris for two weeks. French girls do everything better."
"Not like you've ever gotten anything in the first place," I replied. It was true. Though we had been together for such a long time, we'd never gone below the waist. "Whatever, see you in two weeks," and with that I walked away.
That little incident happened two weeks and one day ago exactly. I am currently waiting for his plane to arrive at the airport right now. I haven't seen him or talked to him since I dropped him off here. See, he didn't want to leave his car. I really don't blame him for that one. His car is gorgeous.
Two weeks. I haven't talked to Seto in two weeks. No phone calls, no e-mails. We didn't even say, "I love you," when I dropped him off. I think things may be over between us. I am terrified, completely and utterly terrified. I won't show him this when he arrives, though.
Or maybe I should. Maybe he'd realize I know I said some things I shouldn't have said, just like he had. Well, he'll never admit that he's at fault, too. Actually, he's more at fault than I am. He really thinks I'd cheat on him with Joey… I just can't believe it. Doesn't he know how much I love him? God, what if this is the end of us?
I feel my eyes starting to well with tears, but I don't let them fall. I can't let them fall. I know he will notice if I cry.
"This can't be over," I think. "This just can't be over… I don't know what I'll do without him!" I don't just love him… I'm not just in love with him. I need him. Always. He's the only person that when they hold me everything really is okay. When he kisses me, nothing else matters. I don't think I could survive without him. If we break up, I have no doubt I'll go into some deep, dark depression.
My eyes widen and my heart stops for a moment as another thought strikes me. What if he really found a woman in Paris? No, he wouldn't. He could never do that to me. Well, if he really thinks I cheated on him, maybe he would. Fuck! I don't know anymore.
"Hello," I hear cold voice say behind me and I jump before who it is registers in my mind.
I glance back at the person. "Seto," I think, trying to hide how I really felt so I made sure my eyes never met his. I see something flicker across his eyes, and I have no idea what it is.
The car ride home is silent. I let him drive, and I rest my head against the window, so if I cry I can hide it a lot easier. God, can he drive any slower? I just want to get home so I can run off into the bathroom and cry.
As we finally arrive, I reach for the door but I feel something holding me back. I look to see Seto's grabbed a hold of my hand.
I glance as him, curiously. "What?" I say, attempting to sound cold but sounding much more like I'm going to break.
"We need to talk," he says, a mysterious look in his eyes.
It's taking everything in me not to jump on him and beg for him not to leave me. "Yes, we do," I reply, again being betrayed by my weakening voice. After a moment of silence, I ask, "How was Paris?"
"It was awful," Seto replies, sighing and running a hand through his chestnut hair.
"Couldn't find a French girl who could do things better than me?" I ask, looking away as a tear runs down my cheek.
Seto cups my face with his left hand and forces our eyes to meet. "Paris was awful because you weren't there," he says sweetly and my heart stops for a different reason this time. Oh my God. He doesn't want to leave me!
"So… You didn't find a French girl?" I say, my voice totally breaking now.
"I didn't even want to look," my love replies. "I'm sorry I thought you were cheating on me with Wheeler. I should have known better."
"Honey, I'm the one who should be sorry," I mumble. "I never should have said we should take a break. God, I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose you."
Seto smiles one of his rare, sweet smiles. "You never have to worry about that," he says. "I love you."
"You promise?" I say as I start to close the distance between our lips.
Our lips meet in a kiss that made up for everything we haven't said in two weeks, but not before he answers my question. "Yes, always."