1. It's Beginning to Get to Me
Dear diary,
I want something that's purer than the water.
How can I make something perfect out of all of these flaws? My mission impossible.
The world is too big, and I'm getting lost in it. I know way too many things and I can't bring myself to forget them. When night falls, I dance with insanity tight and slow. Sometimes I think that's the closest I'll ever get to intimacy.
Amber.
The dark haired girl sighed almost soundlessly and placed the white notebook in the third drawer of her bedroom cabinet. Taking a glimpse at the big wall clock to her left, Amber lied back and hugged her pillow. Definitely late enough. She thought and finally closed her eyes, letting the tiredness wash away her angst.
A single scream startled Amber, forcing her to raise her head from the pillow while clenching the bright sheets. She was dreaming of those eyes again. The window was wide open and the curtain swayed back and forth in the chilly morning breeze. She was dreaming of an unfamiliar face, same face over and over again. In her dream, his sky-blue eyes were observing her closely and devotedly, almost expectantly. The rest of his features were almost a blur, but she was sure enough it was a young man. One side of his jaw line was lightened and pronounced, and his intense gaze still kept her anxious - even after she regained conciseness.
Amber breathed deeply and climbed out of bed to close the window. It was just another day.
The nightmares were relatively new, the dream was repeating itself every night since she had moved to Mystic Falls. Amber wasn't a small town girl, she grew up as an orphan in a boarding school for girls in New York. When she turned eighteen, she found out that a far relative had recently passed away – including only one person in his will – herself. Amber didn't want to live in Mystic Falls, she knew the stories – she was even a part of them. For a month she kept looking for a potential buyer but failed to find one. Finally – she decided to move in and finish her senior year there. The plan still remained the same, once the year was over, Amber intended to find a buyer and settle back in New York. She didn't want to stay in Mystic Falls no matter what.
As a person, she was closed off and gave others the impression of an insecure loner. In her eyes, having no social life was probably the best thing she could do in order to deal with her mother's death. The trauma was always there – she just kept repressing it, thinking if she was able to ignore human beings she could avoid the ones who only appeared to be humans too. However, she always kept precautions just in case. She knew all about vervain's effects, how it kept vampires away and disabled their powers on humans. Amber was a believer. A terrified believer, and she couldn't go through one single day without thinking of her mother's death or the vampire that had killed her. He ripped her throat apart right infront of Amber, who was just a twelve year old child then. Eight years later she was still traumatized, but just as sure of what her eyes once saw.
Her mother used to slay vampires and their garden was always full of beautiful, purple vervain flowers. After she witnessed her mother's murder, Amber made sure she will always have vervain in stock as a precaution, but unlike her mother – she refused to let vampires into her life. She always kept her life as normal as possible and never encountered a real vampire again. Keeping the secret deep down inside for so many years have turned her into a different person, gloomy and untrusting. Whenever she felt like she was starting to have some fun or getting to know someone – she backed away. Life seemed like a joke, and after watching the sparkle in her mother's warm eyes fade in a heartbeat – she realized how worthless human lives were.
Not being able to talk to anyone about it, Amber started writing a journal. She has been writing them for years – making sure they were well hidden from others' eyes. In her journals, she recalled her mother's death numerous times, mostly because she was scared of forgetting one day. The girl didn't see any point in making friendships this year, she was going to leave when school year ended anyway. And besides – she couldn't trust anyone enough to be their friend.
When school day was finally over, Amber got into her car and drove home. She ate lunch and climbed up to her room, hearing the faint sound of the blowing wind. Amber stared at the window – it was open, again. And the white curtain was swaying freely as if someone had just climbed in or out. Her heart raced impossibly fast and her imagination ran wild, she couldn't assume it was just the wind – she already believed the unbelievable.
The anxious girl stood infront of her cheval mirror, pink lips parted in shock, still trying to process the fact that something was beginning to feel a little odd. Her dark brown eyes were jaded and blank but a beautiful reflection could have easily deceived any observer. Her black wavy hair rested upon her shoulders as she kept staring into the mirror, seeing nothing but a hollow image. Her skin was bright and smooth, she stood at 5'4 – petite and firm. Amber shook her head in shock, wanting to believe she was just going crazy and none of it was actually happening. Sitting on her bedside, the young woman reached for her diary and stopped on the first blank page she saw.
Dear diary,
Maybe I'm going crazy, I hope it's all in my head.
I keep seeing those eyes, and I wish I'm wrong, but I feel haunted.
I know vampires are real – if there's one thing I'm sure of, it was the vampire that killed my mother. Could it be, that I'm meeting one eight years later? I'm terrified - I admit. All I ever wanted was to be normal. I don't know if I believe in God, people believe in a higher power because they need to, it makes them stronger. Ironically, my own belief is weakening me.
Amber.
My first Vampire Diaries fic ever. What do you think so far?
Please drop a review if you liked it! :D