Right, I've decided to start a new fic. I know I've got so many that needs finishing but I had this idea and had to write it! I'm sorry. Anyway, this is set during the second season. After Josh finds out he has PTSD but before everyone finds out about the President's MS. Please review and let me know what you think!!!

Enjoy!!!

"I'm Fine"

C.J knocked on Josh's open office door as she walked in, causing him to turn away from the window he was staring out of to look at her.

"You okay?" She asked, realising she probably startled him.

"Yeah, fine." He said quickly, turning in his chair to face her fully. "What's up?"

"I got asked if we wanted to make a comment about Congressman Howard's divorce."

Josh frowned a little. "Why would we care?"

"Well, divorce is a big no no for a lot of people, Joshua, including the President." C.J told him.

He sighed. "They're just digging for something. Say no comment and move on."

"Right."

"Couldn't you have asked Toby?"

"Sam and him are on The Hill."

"And you couldn't have worked it out for yourself?"

"Well, I could have, but then you would have just been sitting here, doing no work all day." She teased.

"Yeah." He mumbled.

She watched him for a moment. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Josh, what's going on?" She asked, closing the door.

"Nothing."

"Josh?!"

"Seriously, it's nothing." He shrugged. "I'm just a little tired."

She shot him a concerned glare. "Just because it's been a year since Rosslyn, you still need to take care of yourself."

Josh visibly tensed at the mention of Rosslyn. "I know... I am...I'm just tired."

"Well, okay..." She said slowly, still not sure that he was telling her the truth. "I'll let you get back to what you were doing."

"Thanks." He replied as she turned and opened the door. "Hey, C.J?"

"Yeah?" She looked back at him.

"I've been meaning to ask...How's your Dad doing?"

She was a little surprised at his question and once again closed the door, moving back to where she was before. "He's okay, I guess...I mean, he... He has his good days and he has his bad days... Luckily, so far there haven't been many bad days."

"Yeah..." He replied quietly, deep in thought. "Do you ever get scared?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm terrified that one day, I'll get a phone call saying he has seriously hurt himself or worse." She said, sitting down opposite him. "My brother, John called me a few weeks ago and told me, he went around there for a visit...And Dad... He gave him a lecture about staying out all night... He thought John was still in school...10 minutes later, he was back to normal, chatting away about the latest baseball game."

Josh remained quiet as C.J spoke sadly of her father and watched as she fingered her necklace silently, deep in thought.

"I feel so guilty about not being there..." She stated looking at him. "But then, there are times...When I hear that he's having a bad day... When I'm a little relieved... Then that makes me feel even guiltier...It's just...He's...He's my Dad, y'know?"

"Yeah." Josh whispered. "You can't just sit there and watch him slowly fading away."

"Exactly."

"What about yourself?"

"What about me?" She asked.

"Do you ever think that one day you might...?" His voice trailed off, looking down at the desk.

"Might inherit Alzheimer's?"

"Sorry, You don't have to answer that." Josh told her.

"No, it's okay... I thought about it a little... But I just...I can't think about it..." She shook her head. "It will drive me insane...Right now, I'm alive and I'm healthy...That's what counts... I'll deal with everything else when and if I come to it."

Josh gave her a small smile but she could tell it was false. "Yeah, you're right."

"Yeah." She nodded, looking at him closely. "Are you sure, you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." He told her, glancing at his watch then standing up. "I've got a meeting to get to...I'll see you later?"

"Josh?" She took his arm as he went to pass her.

"C.J, I'm fine." He repeated. "I just, well I read something and it got me thinking."

"About what?"

"About you and your Dad...You're my friend and I should have asked sooner how he was doing."

She couldn't help but smile at the comment. "You're a good friend."

"Can I go now?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, go."

"Bye." He smiled again and left the office.

She sighed and slowly made her way to her own office, knowing there was something Josh wasn't telling her.

XxXxX

"You going to eat that?" Toby asked, eyeing up the burger on Josh's plate.

"Go ahead." Josh pushed the plate a little towards him, deep in thought.

"Thanks." He replied, reaching out to take it just as C.J sat down at the table with them.

"Hey." She said, slapping his hand away.

"Ow! What?!" He held his injured hand with the other one. "He said I could have it!"

"Toby, you ordered a salad because you wanted to be healthy..." She reminded him.

"I hate salad." He grumbled.

"Then why did you order it?"

"Because I wanted to be healthy but I'm over that now." He replied, taking Josh's burger.

"Josh." C.J sighed.

"What? Sorry?" He snapped back to reality.

"Did you really understand what you were saying when you said Toby could have your lunch or were you preoccupied?"

Josh looked down at his now empty plate.

"You said I could have it!" Toby claimed, with his mouth full.

"It's okay, I wasn't hungry anyway."

"See." Toby looked at C.J.

She frowned, watching Josh. "You weren't hungry this morning either."

He shrugged and stood up. "I'll grab something later..."

"Josh?!"

"I've got to go...Sorry, bye."

She watched as he left the Mess. "Do you think he's okay?"

"Who, Josh?"

"Yeah."

"He seems a little distracted, I guess." Toby answered, pausing for a second. "Why?"

"I don't know, I'm just worried..."

"Have you asked him about it?"

"Yes, he said he was just tired."

"Well, then...Just give him a few days."

"Yeah." She said quietly, before turning to look at him. "But he was asking some really weird questions yesterday."

"You sound surprised."

"I'm serious, Toby..."

"Okay, about what?"

"About my Dad...Whether I'm scared what's happening to him."

"Are you?"

"Toby, this is about Josh!" She pointed out.

"I'm sure he's just worried about you." He answered.

"He's not eating either."

"This is Josh we're talking about... During the campaign he almost forgot what food was."

"This seems different, somehow."

He sighed. "If you're really worried then talk to Leo... If anyone will be able to get through to Josh then it's him."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"I am... Now can I finish my lunch?"

"You may." She replied, picking up her own sandwich.

XxXxX

Donna turned off her computer and stood, making her way to Josh's office to tell him she was finished and was going home.

"Josh?" She stopped in the door when she saw he was asleep in his chair, his head resting against his folded arms on the desk.

"Hey, Donna, is Josh still..." Sam trailed off when he stopped next to Donna. "He's asleep?"

"I thought he was too quiet." Donna commented, turning to face him. "Did you need something?"

"Well, I was going to see if he wanted to go grab some food or something." Sam stated. "C.J's worried about him. Apparently, he gave Toby his lunch and he didn't have any breakfast either."

Donna sighed. "He has been acting a little weird."

"What do you think is going on?" Sam asked. "I mean, it's 7:30 and he's asleep?"

"He said he was tired earlier..." Donna told him. "And yesterday he said his throat hurt and he does look kind of pale. Maybe he's coming down with the flu or something."

Sam pulled a face. "Well, he can keep that to himself!"

"I don't think he has a choice about who catches it, Sam." She rolled her eyes.

"You think we should wake him?"

"He'd probably get a better night's sleep at home." Donna nodded. "You'll have to drop him off."

"What? Me?" He looked at her.

"He's your best friend!"

"Yeah but he could have the flu!" He stated. "I don't want the flu."

"And I thought you were the most caring guy in this administration."

"Hey, I am!" He replied, offended.

"Then take him home!"

"Fine!" He sighed in defeat. "But only because I'm kind, caring and the bestest friend ever!"

"You know bestest isn't a word, right?"

"So? You know what I mean."

"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning...Good luck." She said, nodding in Josh direction. "He's moody when he's ill."

"Yeah, don't I know it!" Sam muttered, as she put on her coat and made her way towards the exit.

After a few seconds of thinking, Sam stepped into Josh's office. He shook him gently. "Josh? Wake up. Josh?"

"What?" He sat up slowly.

"I'm going to take you home, come on." Sam told him.

"What's going on?" He asked as he looked at Sam, slightly confused at being woken up.

"You fell asleep... You look shattered." Sam observed. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." Josh mumbled, wincing as he stood up and stretched. "Sore as well."

"Well, that what happens when you sleep at your desk." Sam commented, grabbing his coat and held it out to him. "Come on."

"You don't have too." Josh told him, taking the coat. "I'll be fine."

"It's not a problem, besides I promised Donna I'd take care of you."

"Why?" Josh asked, following him out.

"Because I'm a caring guy and the bestest friend ever."

"Bestest isn't a word." Josh yawned, trailing a little behind.

"That's not the point."

"Okay."

XxXxX

"So, did you talk to him?" C.J asked, walking out of her office to walk alongside Sam.

He glanced across at her. "A little...He was tired...So I didn't push him."

"What did he say?"

"I'm tired so don't push me." He answered.

"Sam?!"

"He fell asleep at his desk last night, I gave him a ride home... I asked if he wanted to order some food and he said no...I reminded him he hadn't eaten all day and he said he wasn't hungry...I said he looked terrible and he told me he was tired and not to push him." Sam stood and turned to face her. "Honestly, C.J I think it's just the flu...Give him a few days and he'll be back to normal."

"The flu?"

"Donna thinks so too."

"You don't think he's having trouble like last Christmas?"

Sam just looked at her before walking off.

"Hey." She followed him, confused by his reaction. "What's your problem?"

"Why does everyone bring up Rosslyn or last Christmas when Josh is having a bad day?"

He exclaimed, not bothering to stop or slow down as she struggled to keep up with him.

"Because it wasn't until he had hit rock bottom that any of us noticed something was wrong!" C.J stated. "I don't want that happening again!"

"None of us do." Sam stood and turned to her. "But there's a reason why he doesn't tell us things now, C.J and that's because he doesn't want us to worry that he's going to lose it again."

She shook her head. "I'm not going to apologise for worrying about him, Sam."

He sighed and continued walking. "He has the flu, C.J, It happens. He'll be fine."

"I hope you're right." She whispered, this time letting him leave.

XxXxX

"Well, this isn't something I see everyday."

Josh turned and quickly stood up from the bench, he had been sitting on in the Garden as Abbey Bartlet walked towards him.

"Ma'am?"

"Joshua Lyman outdoors in the fresh air during work hours." She teased, indicating he should retake his seat as she sat down.

He smiled slightly. "It's a nice day and I needed to get away from everyone for a little while."

"And you thought this would be the last place they'd look?"

He laughed. "Yeah, your probably right there, Ma'am."

She smiled and leaned back against the bench, looking at him. "Well, they're right."

"Who are right about what?"

"Sam, C.J, Donna, Toby..." She listed. "They all said you look like crap."

"Uh, well... Great." He said slowly, not sure how to respond to that.

"Rumour has it, you have the flu."

"I didn't take you for one who believed in everything you heard, Ma'am."

"Oh, Joshua I'm not." She patted his arm. "Which is why I'm here to find out what's really going on."

"I'm just a little tired."

"Can I tell you a little story?"

"If it involves 7 dwarfs and an evil queen then I've already heard it."

"During the campaign, not long after Donna had joined...You got really sick..." Abbey ignored his comment. "But you wouldn't admit it."

"I remember." Josh told her. "Donna kept trying to force feed me some weird pumpkin soup."

"Yeah, right...Well, I'm telling you this little story because you've never been able to admit when you're ill." She said. "I have no idea why though. I don't know what you worried about."

Josh locked his fingers together tightly and stared down at his hands.

"Josh..." She said softly. "It is okay for you to be worried, you know."

He swallowed the lump that rose in his throat and tilted his head to look at her. "Is it okay to be scared of something that isn't there?"

"What is it, Josh?" She asked, after a few seconds thinking about his comment. "What are you scared of?"

"I haven't been sleeping..." He admitted. "I can't even stomach the thought of food...I'm tired...I ache...I've got every symptom that suggests I have the flu."

"But?"

"But...But I can't help thinking..." His voice trailed off.

"Thinking what?" She prompted.

"That is was exactly how my Dad felt before he found out he had cancer." He whispered, looking down his hands again. "I know...I know it's crazy...But ...I keep thinking..."

"Oh, Josh..." She sighed sadly, reaching out and taking his hand.

"He had Leukaemia, I know you can't pass that down to your kids, right?"

"No, there is no evidence to suggest that." She agreed.

"But…I keep thinking, what if..." He stopped himself again and shook his head. "It's probably nothing...Just me overreacting."

"Yes, probably but you should go and see your doctor..." Abbey told him.

"No, I'll be fine."

"Josh..."

"I'm sorry, for wasting your time, Ma'am…" He stood up. "I should get back to work."

"Joshua."

He stopped but kept his back to her.

"Go and see your doctor."

He turned his head slightly to look at her. "It's just the flu."

"So, it won't hurt to go then."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Just take care of yourself, okay?" She told him. "Even if it is just the flu. It can get bad."

"Yeah." He nodded slightly. "Thank you, Ma'am... For listening."

"Any time."

He went to turn to leave again when she reached out and took his arm.

"I mean it, Josh... Any time."

He looked at her for a moment and nodded a little. "Thank you."

She sighed as she watched him walking away, a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.

TBC

Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!