Tell Me Why
After as stupid as I was
when we ran into that dog this morning,
I was so sure
Tsume would be furious with me.
But we're settling down for the night,
and he still hasn't said anything.
He hasn't given me the tongue lashing
I fully expected.
What I really want,
is to ask why,
but I'm almost afraid to.
Knowing him,
I probably shouldn't.
Then again,
do I really know him that well?
Now that I think about it,
I don't know much about him at all.
I curl up in a corner
and look around for him.
He's nearby, easing himself to the ground.
"Tsume?" I might as well ask.
He opens one eye and looks at me, "what?"
I swallow hard, "why?"
His full attention is on me now.
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"This morning, why did you save me?
And why haven't you yelled at me yet?"
"That's none of your business!"
I cringe at his tone.
It's been a while since he yelled at me.
"I'm sorry." I really am.
I didn't mean to make him angry.
His tail and ears drop suddenly,
"No, don't be. I'm the one that should be."
I look at him, surprised.
Did he just....?
"Tsume, I don't...."
"Understand? No, of course not. How could you?"
He looks almost sad.
I shouldn't ask.
Still I can't help wondering.....
"I know it's not my business but,
will you tell me?"
He looks at me a moment,
then shrugs and lies down again, "why not?"
"You're sure? I mean, you don't have to."
"What difference does it make?"
This isn't the Tsume I know,
that's for sure.
"A couple years ago,
there was another pup in this city.
About the age you are now."
One my age?
Is this why, even though he yells,
he still helps me when I really need it?
"What happened?"
"The runt was hurt. I don't know why,
but I couldn't leave him like that. Maybe,
maybe because he was the only other one then.
He didn't have a chance when,
when that drunk with the handgun...."
He doesn't continue,
but he doesn't have to.
I think I understand now,
why it is Tsume trys to keep everyone out.
He's been hurt once,
isn't that enough?
But he's let me in.
Maybe it's because I remind him.....
He starts talking again and I stop thinking to listen.
"And now you show up. I made a mistake once,
I hope, I mean I....uh.
I don't want something like that to happen again."
He won't look at me.
It sounds like I'm kind of his redemption.
And right now,
that may be all I am.
But it gives me a chance,
to get close to him
And that's what I really want.
I get up and go over to him,
lying down beside him and snuggling up.
He goes stiff a moment
and then I feel his body relax against mine.
I doubt he'll let me do this again,
at least anytime soon.
So I'll take advantage of it.
He doesn't want me to get hurt,
and I want to show him,
that I don't want to hurt him.
I'm glad he told me.
I understand him a little better now.
We've got a start,
hopefully someday we'll end up close friends.
All because he told me why.
Whew! Long one compared to the other 3. The possibility of this happening? Beats me. I get to see my fourth episode the day after I write this. I guess either way it's cute. They need to play Wolf's Rain every day. Please R&R. Thanx for reading. Later!! (And don't forget: Blue & Hige 4evr!!)