This is also posted on archive of our own under the name thebadwolf.
This story is in no way connected to my other ninja turtles stories. This is a stand alone. It is set after the cgi TMNT movie. Be warned this will discuss eating disorders and depression.
I am also looking for a beta reader for my TMNT stories. Must be able to handle distrusting matter. Message me on here or email me at wisteriascottdunham
After the incident with Winters the turtles lives went back to normal. Well, as normal as they be considering they were four mutant turtles. It was nice having Leo back. Without him their family had seemed so incomplete. Raph didn't like the idea of admitting it but he liked having his older brother around. While being around each other all the time got annoying from time to time he wouldn't have it any other way.
Mikey spent lots of extra time with his oldest brother. The two of them had so much to catch up on. Don busied himself with a secret project. He wouldn't tell anyone what it was about. Whenever he wasn't working on it he was with Leo.
Raph found himself alone.
Being alone wasn't usual for the red clad turtle. He had been a loner most of his life. Yet, for the first time in his life it felt wrong. He wanted to sit with Mikey and Leo.
He wanted to play video games, watch tv, and discuss the current sports teams.
He wanted to barge in on Don and ask him what he was up to.
For some reason the turtle found himself unable to do so. Had his need to isolate always been this bad? He often found himself getting lost in his thoughts.
He was currently sparing with his youngest brother and found himself unable to pay attention. He is too deep of thought to focus. The orange clad turtle was running circles around him. Raph was completely unable to keep up.
One might expect Mikey to be slow. After all he spent most of him time playing video games. Despite that fact he was the lightest of all his brothers and the fastest. Years of playing video games had given him quick reflexes. Mikey was never one to sit still. Even while he played games he would bounce up and down on the couch. The turtle was always moving.
Wham!
In one move Raph was brought down onto his shell. The red clad growled as he struggled to his feet.
"Wow!" Mikey said holding out a hand to his brother. "Are you alright? I almost never do that man."
"I'm fine!" Raph shouted waving his hand away. "Don't rub it in."
"I wasn't..." Mikey said in a soft voice.
His brother didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence. He stormed out of the Dojo and towards his room. Leo and Don were in the kitchen cooking dinner. The two of them stopped and stared at their brother in silence as he passed by.
"Raph do you want dinner?" Leo called.
"I'm not hungry," Raph snarled before darting into his room.
He slammed the door behind and left his brothers standing in silence. Mikey stood outside the Dojo with a surprised look on his face.
"What the heck got into him?" Don asked looking at Mikey.
"I don't know," Mikey said. "I beat him but he never gets upset like that. He normally just challenges me to another go."
"He's been out of it for weeks," Leo explained. "What do you think is up?"
"He's Raph," Don said. "He's always like that."
Mikey and Leo frowned looking towards Raph's door. Yes, the turtle was usually a loner and in a bad mood but never that bad.
Raph fell onto the bed with a thud. He hated the fact he was the slowest of all his brothers. He hated he was the dumbest. He hated he was the most boring. He sat up and looked at himself in the mirror.
Why did he have to be him? Why couldn't he just change? Why couldn't he just like himself?
"Raph!" Came Don's voice and then a banging on his door.
"What?" Raph snapped.
"Do you want dinner?" his brother asked.
"Piss off!" the red turtle shouted.
He reached down onto the floor and picked up the first thing his fingers touched. It turned out to be a basketball. He threw into the door. It made a loud thudding noise and rolled away into a corner of the room.
"Fine," Don said. "Starve and see if I care."
Raph frowned at the sound of his brother walking away. He looked back to his reflection. He could tell he had put on weight during the time Leo was away. He did fight as the nightwatcher but not that much. His role as the nightwatcher had caused him to sleep during the day. Therefore he didn't train that much with his brothers.
Was that why he was so slow? Would he feel better if he lost some weight? He knew being over weight could cause depression, mental health issues, and mobility issues. Was the extra weight the problem? If he lost weight would he be happy?
Of course he didn't know if he was really over weight. There wasn't a scale in the house. Plus he had no idea what his brothers weighed so he had no way to compare.
Well, he would try it. He would lose a few pounds and see how it felt. Of course he wouldn't tell his brothers or father. He wouldn't want them thinking he was worried about something so superficial as his weight. He knew they would tease him for it.
Yes that sounded like a good idea. Just a few pounds and then he would stop.