Never See Me Like This
Author: LVB
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or anything SW related. That honour belongs to George Lucas and LucasFilm Ltd.
Summary: Vader contemplates. One-shot. Really short.
A/N: Wow, more inspiration! Go me! I'm the queen of angst-y vignettes, I am. This idea came to me when I was writing He Isn't Here (part of For the Memory of Jedi Skywalker). So I wrote them simultaneously. I actually think this is more effective being this short. As always reviews and feedback are appreciated!
Cold, dark and empty. That is how I feel. Hatred dances upon my heart like a wild burning fire. The passion I once held in my body is now replaced with an evil sense of emptiness. I do not feel; I cannot feel.
I am no longer him. He died a long time ago; he died when man became machine. When good became evil. When passion became emptiness. When life became death. When companionship became solitude. When Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader.
I do not feel pain anymore. My limbs; replaced with replica machinery. My lungs replaced with a cold, hard black box. My voice, marred with my failures altered, deepened, destroyed, changed, lowered; not my own. My face, sullen white with a thousand scars tattooed upon it, reminiscent of many a battle won…and lost.
My purpose now is not to become the greatest; for I am already here. I reign supreme, strike fear in the hearts of men. Strike fear in the hearts of the dead Republic. I do not feel compassion. I do not feel empathy. I do not feel friendship. I do not care. I do not feel anything. I do not want to.
He owns me now. Ironic, is it not? I left a life of slavery as a young child to enter an institution that continuously held me back. I fought long and hard to become a Jedi, I followed their rules but I secretly longed to be out of their reach. Out of their rules and boundaries. I rebelled, oh I rebelled victoriously. I took lives, I took power and most importantly I took love.
But stupidly, as soon as I left the Jedi Order, I became under the thumb of The Emperor. Out of the frying pan and into the fryer. And now, I have become a slave again. A full turned circle. I must do my master's bidding. I am just a toy, a slave, a tool used for the domination of the galaxy. Not the most powerful. Never the most powerful. Always second best.
And now, I pay for my sins. Never feeling, never touching, always removed. Fierce, menacing, intimidating, a killing machine. A machine; nothing more. Burned flesh given way to new technology. New limbs, new lungs and a new voice. No heart, no feeling, no emotion. No passion. No love.
And for the first time, I am glad. I am glad she would never see me like this.