Possibility
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer.
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"You are so infuriating!" I couldn't help exploding at him in the way I was. Every time! "You don't know anything Jacob, anything!"
I could see on his face that my words hurt him, but a little piece of me was satisfied. All he did when we were together was say horrible things about Edward, and he didn't understand. Maybe he couldn't. All I knew was that when he was like this, he sounded like a foolish little boy, and I didn't want to be around him.
Loving him was one of the hardest things in the world.
"I know more than you might think." Jacob's voice held an accusatory tone. "I was there Bella, the whole time he was gone. I know."
He paused, and I thought he was going to stop, that that was enough. I didn't like talking about that. As far as I was concerned, that portion of my life never existed. But that was a problem in itself. I couldn't erase those months without wiping Jake out of my life, and no matter how angry he made me, the thought of losing him hurt the most.
"I'm never going to forget what you looked like when Sam brought you out of the woods," he continued, "Or those first days that you came over to my house, you were-"
"Depressed." I snapped, I'd heard it before, "I know."
"No." Jacob retorted, "That would have been better. You were empty Bella, completely empty. It was like a shell of Bella-of the real Bella. There was nothing inside of you, you were hardly there."
I flinched, the pain in his tone was as unavoidable as the anger.
"Not depressed." Jacob said, shaking his head, "Depressed was an improvement, when you started to get better…that was depressed."
"Stop." I said, "I don't want to talk about this, Jacob. I didn't come here to-"
"What?" Jacob asked, "What do you want me to say, Bella? That I'm happy he's back?" A sneer twisted his lips in a hateful way that killed me. I didn't like this side of Jacob. "That I'm happy that you want-you want to be…"
Jacob's voice trailed off, he still couldn't say it. The vampires had been back in Forks for months, he'd known for months and he still couldn't say it.
"Vampire." I supplied, "and you're right. That is what I want."
I was almost sorry that I went there. The twisted, pained look on his face hadn't been what I was aiming for. I didn't want to hurt him.
"Yeah. Maybe." Jacob's lips twitched, and I knew how angry he was.
That was the only thing that changed when he was angry. I'd seen the others, the way Paul's entire body would tremble…Jacob had more self-control. I worried sometimes what would happen if he was as angry as Paul.
"There's no maybe." I told him, feeling the tone of apology creep into my voice. "It is."
Jacob's eyes flashed. "Well." He looked me over in a way that worried me. "I want to keep you alive more than anything Bella so-"
"So what?" I interjected, he couldn't stop me. No matter how much he cared about me, or I cared about him…it had to happen.
"So," He said carefully, "There always is the possibility of murder."