It all started when Tony Stark bought a bed…
"Oh, cool! A king size!" Clint exclaimed as dove onto the huge bed, "And it's memory foam!"
"Really?" Natasha asked, sitting down and feeling the mattress, then laying back to fully experience the comfort, "It's amazing."
Thor and Steve entered.
"What's going on?" Steve questioned, eyeing the assassins.
"Tony bought a new bed." Clint explained, "It's awesome! You gotta try it!"
"What?" the Captain was confused.
Clint grabbed his wrist and pulled him over next to the bed, "Feel the mattress!"
Steve did so and sat on the bed, "It's more comfortable than anything I've ever felt."
"It's memory foam." Natasha told him.
Thor sprawled out next to her, "Even the bed in my chambers back in Asgard, cannot compare to this."
"Yeah, that's nice." Tony said sarcastically, finally getting a word in, "Now, get out. It's mine."
Bruce pushed past Tony through the doorway, "Why is everyone in here?"
"I bought a new bed and your teammates decided to invade my personal space and steal it." Tony was very annoyed.
"A new bed?" the doctor ignored him and joined the other Avengers in admiring the heavenly piece of furniture, "This is nice."
"I know." Natasha commented, dreamy eyed, "It almost makes me want to sleep all day instead of shooting people."
"Not shooting people would be nice." Steve said, hugging a pillow and beginning to hum the national anthem.
"Get out of my bed!" Tony told them.
"I like this bed more than coffee and Poptarts." Thor announced, smiling like an idiot.
No one seemed to hear the angry billionaire.
"J.A.R.V.I.S." Tony addressed the AI, beginning to realize something very strange was going on, "What's happening right now? Give me something."
"I'm not sure, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. answered.
"Come on. Anything weird in the head?" Tony asked.
"You're weird in the head." Clint started throwing pillows at him.
"Would you stop that!?" Tony yelled, receiving a laugh from the archer.
"Lighten up, Stark." Steve told him, "Take a nap or something."
"You should join us!" Thor's booming voice filled the room.
"My scans show their brain waves have changed." J.A.R.V.I.S. informed the increasingly weirded out Iron Man, "They appear to be in a trancelike state."
"You're telling me they've been hypnotized?" Tony asked.
"It would appear so, sir." the British artificially intelligent computer answered.
"I might never have to Hulk out again." Bruce announced.
"I'm going to take a nap now." Natasha stated, stealing the last pillow on the bed from the already sleeping archer, "Goodnight."
Tony said, "What on earth is happening? They were hypnotized by a piece of furniture! They're acting drunk. Not the fun kind of drunk either, like me, but the stupid, annoying, kind."
"Isn't that the same thing, sir?" J.A.R.V.I.S. questioned emotionlessly, yet mockingly.
"I don't have time for this, J.A.R.V.I.S." Tony told him, "Just, come one. Tell me how to fix it."
"Try waking Dr. Banner's other half, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. suggested.
"So, you're telling me to make Bruce Hulk out?" Tony said, "Alright then. This'll be fun."
"Should I call Director Fury?" J.A.R.V.I.S. asked.
"No. It'll be fine." Tony answered, "Just call Pepper and tell her I'm going to need a cleanup crew and reconstruction again."
"Yes, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. replied before it was quiet again.
"Bruce, start turning green." Tony flicked him.
"Why?" Bruce questioned, barely noticing.
"Because it looks great on you." Tony replied sarcastically, slapping him, "It doesn't matter. Just do it."
"I can't." Bruce looked at him, "I'm far too relaxed to be angry."
"Oh, yeah. What if I do this?" Tony hit him in the face with a pillow.
Bruce just blinked, shocked.
"I can't believe you're making me turn this into a middle school sleepover." Tony hit Bruce with the pillow again, making him fall backwards and hit his head on the headboard.
Tony grabbed a book off the floor and threw it at him. Bruce clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the Hulk.
"Come on, big guy." Tony said, "Come get me. You look like a bad case of foot fungus. You smell like it too."
The Hulk came out, his weight breaking the bed, and roared, making Tony nearly fall over. The other Avengers fell on to the floor just in time before Hulk crushed them. Then, the angry, green giant grabbed a pillow and swung it at the billionaire, the force of his strong arm sending him flying into the wall.
Tony, now lying in a hole in the wall, painfully said, "Should probably put on the suit next time."
Hulk punched a wall, threw the nightstand, yanked a light socket out of the wall, and crushed an alarm clock, lamp, and closet door. He ripped apart the bed and pulled the light above it down along with bits of the ceiling and wires.
The rest of the Avengers were fully awake now.
"Hulk!" Clint called from another side of the room, trying to avoid being punched, "Buddy! Calm down!"
"You're going to make the ceiling fall in on us!" Steve told him.
"Metal Man insult Hulk and hit Hulk! Hulk smash Metal Man's house!" Hulk growled, throwing the remainders of the bed through the wall.
"Stop, friend!" Thor yelled, "This is unnecessary!"
"Do you want to kill us!?" Natasha asked, "Thor and Steve would probably live, but the rest of us will die if the roof collapses on us. Stop destroying everything!"
"Hulk angry!" he told them, stomping on some rubble to get his point across.
"We know you're angry, big guy." Clint approached the Hulk, "You're angry most of the time. But, how about you stop smashing everything for now, okay? You can come watch TV with me and I'll share my cookies with you, but only if you stop. Deal?"
Hulk thought about it for a minute, "Okay, Bird Man. Hulk stop smashing Metal Man's house."
"Good." Clint said, "You okay, Tony?"
"Uh, no." Tony replied, finally managing to stand up, "You idiots get hypnotized, I fix it, and what thanks do I get? Broken ribs, a broken room, and pain that'll last for weeks. That's what I get for helping you people."
"What are you talking about, Stark?" Natasha asked.
They were clueless.
"Never mind." Tony replied, "Just don't sit on my new bed ever again."