So I'll be updating Checkmate at some point in the future (I've at least started writing the next chapter), but for now, this idea wouldn't leave me alone.

xXx

Conan—with occasional input from Heiji—finished speaking. Heiji kept glancing at Kazuha, ashamed, while Conan simply stared at his feet, likely the phrase I am beyond screwed running through his head on repeat.

Kazuha had just walked in on Heiji and Conan in the janitor's closet—a closet into which she had just seen Heiji pull Shinichi only seconds before. Confronted—and with Kazuha threatening to tell Ran (who was unconscious in the other room due to a series of events that made much more sense to Kazuha now that she had the full story)—the boys had no choice but to explain.

Of course, they had tried to lie, but Kazuha clearly knew when Heiji was lying. He was pretty bad at improvising. It didn't take a genius to realize that Kudou Shinichi could not fit in the air ducts.

When they finished their story, Kazuha could only blink at them incredulously. They stood like that for a full thirty seconds.

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard," Kazuha finally commented.

"Uh…" Heiji exchanged a look with Conan. "Well, I guess people shrinkin' is pretty hard ta believe…."

"Not that, ya ahou!" Kazuha shouted. "Why ya didn' tell Ran-chan!"

"It…it would put her in danger…" Conan explained, confused. Hadn't he mentioned that?

"Yeah! Exactly!" Kazuha continued to yell. "Look, I can see why ya didn' tell her abou' the whole shrinkin' thing—that's a pretty huge breach a' her trust, an' she would not be okay with that—but why does yer Kudou-kun self keep telling her that yer away on a case? Can't ya tell her that yer in hiding because ya saw somethin' ya shouldn' have, so now some dangerous people are after ya? Then ya can at least technically tell her the truth, and she would be safer that way anyway!"

Kazuha took a breath and lowered her volume a bit. "Alrigh', so the concern is that if she knew about these bad guys, they would kill her, right? But how would they know that she knows? Let's say that find out that yer alive and shrunk. So they kill ya, and decide ta kill everyone around ya. Do ya really think they're gonna walk up ta Ran-chan and ask 'Do ya know who we are?' No! They're just gonna kill her, whether she knows or not, because ya live with her! They would obviously jus' assume that she knows that she's harborin' a victim of a crime!"

Realizing that she was getting worked up again, Kazuha slowed down. "Now, let's just say that they do decide ta test Ran-chan before they kill her. Do ya honestly think they'll ask what she knows? A' course not. They'll ask where Kudou Shinichi is. If they get any answer other than 'dead', they can pretty safely assume that she knows too much to live. And guess what she'll answer. She thinks that yer alive, and doesn't know that there's any danger in saying otherwise because she doesn' know that yer hidin' from a dangerous organization. An' what if she saw one a' these bad guys on the street? She wouldn' know ta at least avoid them! What if she ran inta that Vineyard lady again? Isn' she a fan?"

Conan opened his mouth to speak, but Kazuha cut him off. "Now, let's just say that yer concern wasn' any of those examples, but that Ran-chan would try ta help ya fight them, and ya were afraid that she would be hurt in the fight. Sure, that would be a valid concern—if Ran-chan was that stupid. Do ya honestly believe that she would hear that story and think 'Gee, if Shinichi, the FBI, and the CIA combined can't take these guys down, maybe I can do it'? 'If Kudou-kun, the famous Savior of the Police and fearless Detective of the East, is so scared of these guys that he completely picks up and goes inta hidin', they can't be all that scary!' Really!"

Now it was Heiji's turn to blink in shock. He cleared his throat nervously. "Uh…are ya done?"

Kazuha tilted her head, thinking. "Not quite. Heiji, I can't believe even ya didn' see the obvious flaws in this scheme. An' ya call yerself a detective. Now I'm done."

Conan simply stared at the girl, stuttering incoherent sounds. "I—bu—ya—ra—I—"

Kazuha pointed back to the closet and smiled at the boy. "Now, how about I go wake Ran-chan up, and ya can call her as Kudou-kun from that closet and tell her everything?"

Conan simply nodded dumbly and wandering back into the closet.