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As the days drag on it's as if a knife is slowly cutting through my heart. I want nothing more than to end my pain. With Kid Rock blaring in the back ground I grab the loaded 22 from under Riley's mattress. 'This has to be over' I think to myself. All I see is a black and white tunnel with no end in sight, as I walk through the house towards the front door. Knowing in the back of my mind this isn't what I really want. All I want is him to return to me. To love and cherish me as he once did. Last time we spoke he made it very clear that he's happy and wants nothing more from me, ever. That night I tasted the purest of drugs I had ever snorted up my nose to erase his words from my head.
Opening the front door, I march down the steps bound and determined to end it. The pain and agony of the last year is too much to take anymore. Knowing if I was of sane mind I could not ever do this. I reach into my pocket and pull out three oxycotins and pop them into my mouth without a second thought. My only escape in the last year has been my drugs. Between the lines of pure white powder going up my nose and the mass amounts of pain pills I take, it's a wonder I'm even still alive. That's all about to change though, with one final pop.
Step by step I take I reach my final destination, the green grassy hill next to the house. With the 22 in my hand I glare down at it as if to say goodbye. As the lyrics of Only God Knows Why blare thru the open window, I know this is right.
And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around
And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around
People don't know bout the things I say and do
They don't understand about the shit that I've been through
It's been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone far way too long
Raising the gun up to my temple I say my last goodbyes to the world that has brought me nothing but pain. With his words replaying over in my head like a broken record player "Bella I don't love you anymore", I remove the safety and take a deep breathe.
Maybe I forgot all the things I've missed
Oh somehow I know there's more to life than this
I said it too many times And I still stand firm
You get what you put in And people get what they deserve
Still I ain't seen mine No I ain't seen mine…
Placing my finger on the trigger, I take my last breath of fresh air in to my soon to be lifeless body. Slowly I begin to pull the trigger back when I hear my father's voice. "Bella, it's Charlie. Please I know you are there, Don't do this! We love you! We will help you out of this." Frozen by my father's word's, the gun falls from my hand.
BOOOOM!
As if the Hoover Dam was just bombed, tears stream down my face as I run to the sound of my father's voice. Tripping up the stairs, flinging open the door I race to the phone and grab it up. Gurgling into the phone, I notice the voice has changed. It's no longer my father on the other end but it's my step mother Sue.
Thanks to my wonderful beta Mo Mo! Without you my words would mean nothing! luv ya muah xoxo
Enjoy the story all my fellow FF friends. Please review and let me know what you think.