Pairings: EdwardXBella, a little JacobXBella. ALL HUMAN.
Rated: M, for sexual material, drug references, strong language, self mutilation and violence.
Plot: Bella wakes up in the hospital after having her stomach pumped and wrists bandaged, with a very furious mother waiting with the news that she is sending her away to Forks to live with her father. Bella accepts, although reluctant to start over like her mother wishes. Once she arrives, Bella finds herself stuck in the hell which she calls therapy with an unlikely companion, or so she thought. Will Bella realize there's more to the life she has been so eager to throw away, or will she finally succeed in letting go...for good.
Author comments: Please no flaming. I know there are some who do not like these kinds of stories, but I have warned up above about what this story contains and how the plot goes. Constructive criticism is welcome, of course.
CHAPTER 1
White Walls In This White Place
I forced my eyes open, slowly lifting my eye lids inch by inch. I could see a bright blinding light from above, and out of all the possibilities, I wanted it to be the light you see before death. I blinked a few times before managing to keep my eyes open.
White. Every single thing around me was white. I heard a faint beeping noise and looked to my side. Of course, a heart monitor. I should have known, white and blank meant hospital. I internally groaned as I fidgeted with the IV that was stuck up my arm, and the breathing tubes that the doctors had so carelessly shoved up my nose.
"Bella? Oh, you're awake sweetie," I heard my mother's voice approach, as well as tiny footsteps. I gazed up at her as she stopped at my side and rested her hand on my shoulder.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, concern flooding her voice. I shook my head slowly.
"What am I doing here?" I asked her as I continued to fidget with the cord connected to the IV. Renee grabbed my hand and pulled it off the cord and placed it back on my lap.
"You overdosed, and tried killing yourself again," She answered, obvious tears were forming along the rim of her eyes. I looked down at my hands, trying to avoid the guilt that was building up in my stomach. My mother sniffled.
"I've-I've arranged for you to stay with your father," Renee said quietly. My head shot up, as I shot her a shocked expression.
"What? No!" I shouted as I struggled to sit up. Renee put a calming hand on my shoulder and gently attempted pushing me back down to the bed. I pushed her hand away, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.
"Why? Why would you do this to me!" I said as I gripped a hold of the sheets and tightened my grasp. My mother's facial expressions grew angrier and angrier. I was even surprised with myself, and how I hadn't thrown a tantrum since I was five. I felt Renee's grip on my arm as she lifted my heavily bandaged wrist in front of my face.
"This is why, Bella! This is why I can't keep you here! First time, you cut off your hair and dye it black! Black, Bella! Second time, you almost drank yourself to death, and now this! Overdosing on pills and cutting your wrists! I can't handle this anymore, I know I can't do anything about it! I want my daughter back, and if that means sending her away, then dammit I'll do it!" She threw my arm down, and turned away rubbing her hands over face. I would have yelled back if I could, but I was suddenly dizzy, and the urge to vomit was overpowering my will to speak.
"Mo-mom," I stuttered. She turned back to me as I covered my mouth and fiddled with the cords around my bed to get out. She finally realized that I was feeling sick and helped me unlatch myself so I could rush to the bathroom. Thank god they had personal bathrooms for each patient in the rooms, otherwise there would have been quite a mess for the janitors to clean up.
I flushed the toilet after ten minutes of vomiting and slowly shuffled my way back over to the bed and covered my cold body with the thin sheets and blanket. Renee watched me with concern. She walked over to the door and hollered for nurse, even after I told her I was fine.
"Yes?" The nurse asked politely as she walked through the door and stopped where Renee was standing.
"No one told me my daughter would get sick," She stated, a bit more rude than she should have been. The nurse glanced over at me and smiled.
"I'm sorry, but there is nothing to be worried about. After pumping the stomach, you may feel sick and vomit, and it's likely you'll have a sore throat for a few days. Nothing major though, trust me," She reassure me. I nodded and faintly smiled back. Renee still looked unconvinced.
"So, you're telling me I brought my daughter here to get better, and she's only going to get sick again?" The nurse was about to respond but I quickly intervened.
"Mom, it's fine. I feel fine now. That's all we needed, thank you," The nurse nodded once before leaving. Renee turned to me.
"Are you sure you feel fine?" She questioned. I rolled my eyes.
"Now you care?" I sneered. She sighed as she rested her hands on my bed railing.
"Bella, you have to understand, I'm doing this for you. Charlie knows a great doctor, one that could possibly help you. It'll be good for you to spend some quality time with your father too. Maybe being with him will shape you up a little, hopefully bring back that brown hair I loved so much," She said as she looked over my long black hair. I grabbed the tip of my hair and rolled it between my fingers.
"I like my hair," I said. Renee shook her head as she pushed away with the railing and picked her purse up from the chair in the corner.
"Try to get some rest. I'll have your stuff packed by the time you're released, and we can get you on the next possible flight to Forks. I love you," She said as she kissed my forehead and walked away. I had never imagined my mother walking away from me with the same meaning as it meant now. She was done with me, fed up. I had pushed her to the point of not wanting the child she had given birth to anymore.
I spent the hour after my mother's departure crying. After I had sulked about my upcoming move to Forks, I ate the lunch the nurse had brought in for me and spent a couple of hours watching the lame movies they had as a selection on the small hanging television before falling fast asleep. It was definitely surprising at how well you slept when cuddled in a hospital bed, especially considering you were surrounded by others, some who would be dead by morning. Grim thought, I know.
***
Three Days Later
The hospital had advised my mother to hide all chemicals, and poisons I could possibly digest before taking me home. She had taken their advice into consideration, but didn't go through with it considering I was only leaving to a new state that same day.
By the time we had gotten back to the house, my stepfather's car was packed with my stuff and my stepfather was waiting anxiously. I knew he would be a happy one after this. It took two years, and he had finally managed to get lucky enough to get me thrown out.
"Your plane leaves in an hour and a half, are you ready?" Phil asked as he slid open the minivan door for me. I didn't answer, just glared at him for a moment before stepping in. Renee got into the passengers seat, but didn't look back once the entire ride there. Either she was too ashamed of me, or too scared I'd hate her for the rest of my life and she'd see it on my face.
Once we were at the hospital, Phil took out my bags and sat them on the sidewalk before returning to the car. My mother remained in the front seat, and without a word they drove off. I stood there rooted in my spot for a few minutes, staring blankly in the direction they had left. When I was younger, I never would have thought of my mother as the type of parent that would ship their child away, no matter how much trouble they had. Apparently, I was dead wrong.
I picked up my bags after letting the misery digest a bit, and walked through the sliding glass doors and slowly shuffled my way to the ticket counter. I exchanged my ticket for a boarding pass and made my way over to the security check. My bags made it through with no problem, me on the other hand; I had to take out my five studs on my ears, along with my Monroe and nose piercings. That was going to be a pain in the ass to get back in as I waited for the plane, with no mirror. I would never walk into a public bathroom, I refused to.
So there I sat, in the uncomfortable, cushioned chairs in the waiting section. I was bored to say the least, and had found a dull interest in picking at the ends of my hair. I twisted the green strand with my finger and gazed ahead at the departure board. Twenty more minutes, and I would be on the plane, headed to my isolated, freezing hell. Ha, ironic right?
"Waiting for the plane to Forks too?" A high pitched feminine voice asked. I looked up from my split ends and faced a small, pale and short haired girl. If I hadn't been so angry at the time I would have told her she was beautiful. Her piercing blue eyes were almost hypnotising.
"Yeah," I responded. She extended her tiny hand out towards me.
"I'm Alice Brandon. Nice to meet you," She said. I hesitated for a second before shaking her hand.
"Nice to meet you too," I replied. She smiled.
"So what business do you have in Forks? From what I've heard, the population isn't very thriving so I don't see why many people would visit,"
"My father lives there," I quickly explained, trying to avoid any questions to why I was visiting him. She nodded her head and smiled again.
"That's a nice reason. I have some family there too, my aunt. She's taking me in while I complete a therapeutic program. Normally I would have stayed in Phoenix, but I hear is amazing at what he does," ? Therapeutic program? Anyone that took one look at Alice from a distance wouldn't even think about those sort of reasons to why she would be leaving. She seemed wholesome, together, and to top it off she was unnaturally kind.
"Therapy?" I asked loosely, not wanting to sound as if I was probing for information.
"Yeah. I was in an accident about a year ago, and I haven't really been myself since. I suffer from nervous breakdowns, and my regular doctor says I have PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Everyone else is just convinced I'm crazy," She laughed lightly. I faintly smiled. This girl had problems that were putting her in therapy, and taking her away from home and yet she was able to laugh about it. Was it bravery people called that?
"Flight 223, Port Angeles, Washington, this is your boarding call," A woman's voice announced over the speaker. I stood up and grabbed one of Alice's small bags.
"I'll help you," I said as we began walking towards the check area. The woman took our boarding passes and checked them before letting us pass. We walked down the red carpeted hallway that led to the plane, and took our seats in the middle. Alice explained that she liked the window seat, and since I had no interest in seeing anything of Washington, I gladly gave her mine.
For the next two hours, Alice and I talked about ourselves. She had told me she had a younger brother that she got along with very well, which made this trip that much harder for her. She said she had attended the same high school as me, but she had taken up homeschooling after the accident. I only revealed that I was living with my mother and stepfather before now, and that I was taking a break from my home life in Phoenix because of a dispute between me and my mother. She accepted the information and let go any other personal questions she had. At 2:00 p.m., the plane finally landed in Port Angeles.
I stayed with Alice as we walked towards the baggage claim and grabbed our stuff. I unzipped one of my big purses and pulled out my plain black hoodie sweatshirt realizing the rain was pouring outside. Alice put a warm black hazard jacket on.
"Before we leave, can I ask for something Bella?" She asked. I nodded my head.
"Can I maybe get your number? I don't know anyone here, and it'd be easier for me to adjust if I did," I smiled as I took her phone and entered my number under new contact.
"I do have texting," I told her before she smiled, waved and walked away towards a little red car in the parking lot. I stood out front, under the roof for about five minutes before I recognized the police cruiser, and Charlie with his police jacket pull up and get out. He looked among the few people standing out front until he saw me, the only teenage girl standing outside. He walked towards me.
"Bells, it's good to see you again," He greeted. He kept his distance, which was good. In a lot of ways, Charlie was like me. Personality wise that is.
"Yeah, you too," I said as I adjusted my backpack strap on my shoulder. Charlie picked my other bags and led me to the cruiser. I hopped into the passengers seat quickly because the cold was beginning to get to me, while Charlie shoved my bags into the trunk. I was probably a burden to him, just something else to worry about. But of course, Renee didn't think about that. She never did.
"I bet you're cold," Charlie said as he got into the car, started the engine and adjusted the heater to high.
"It'll kick on in a few minutes, just bare with it," He informed me as we pulled out of the airport and began cruising on the slick, wet road. I sat in my seat with my hands crossed in my lap. Charlie kept both his hands on the wheel, and stared awkwardly out the front windshield.
"Sorry that Renee just dumped me on you like this," I apologized quietly. Charlie finally looked over at me, a blank expression on his face.
"What are you talking about Bells? I agreed to letting you come. I haven't seen you in three years. It's not a problem at all," He said. I wasn't sure if he was trying to convince me of it being true, or if he was just hiding his real dismay for me being here.
"Okay. It was just kind of sudden," I said. Charlie nodded his head once.
"It had reason to be," He replied. I gazed down at my hands. Of course Renee told him, how could she not? One parent disappointed for two years, and now another. And the disappointment was just beginning, he just had no idea.
"Yeah. I guess so," I whispered as I turned my head to gaze out the foggy window. We had reached the outskirts of Forks in an hour, and all there was, was green. Trees lined the highway, and they spread for miles and miles beyond it. Isolation.
"So, I got you enrolled in school. And to your mother's orders...therapy. Now I know you're probably not happy about that, but is a really great doctor. He knows exactly what he's doing," He sputtered. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I know I have to go, and I know it's because my mom ordered you to. No big deal," I said. Alice was seeing as well. We went back to our awkward silence as we finished the last twenty minutes of the drive which ended at the end of a quiet and small residential street. Charlie's house was two stories, but was still seen as a house suitable for one. Well, now two.
"Your room is at the top, like it always used to be," Charlie said as he unloaded my bags from the trunk and brought them the porch. I could have guessed that much, seeing as there really were only two rooms. Charlie unlocked the door and led me into the living room. Definitely a man's house.
"So, this is the living room. Through that door is the kitchen, and right around that corner are the stairs. It leads to the rooms, and bathroom. But I'm sure you remember where everything is," He assumed. I nodded my head. We stood there, me looking around and Charlie swaying back and forth on his toes and heels.
"Um, need some help?" He finally asked, pointing to my bags. I shook my head and picked up two of my bags.
"No, it's fine. I can handle it. You can go watch TV, or go to work. Whatever you do," I said as I began walking up the stairs. Charlie walked over to the couch and turned on the TV.
I made my way to the very end of the hall and opened the old oak door open. Nothing had really changed besides my old crib was replaced with a bed, and a desk, chair and dresser had been added. I dropped my bags on the bed and walked over to the wood bookcase that sat in the corner. Some of the books were mine, but others were school books that Charlie had kindly picked up for me yesterday for my classes. I then walked over to the window. The glass was foggy, and the curtains were a nice silk and white. Obviously new, and plain because Charlie probably had no taste when it came to these sort of things.
"For the next hour I put my clothes away, threw away some old stuff I had found stashed around the room and then changed for bed, before telling Charlie goodnight and laying down in my bed. I knew I wasn't going to sleep because the wind was causing a tree branch to scratch the glass, and the thunder I could hear in the distance. I tossed and turned for two hours, and after finally shoving a pillow over my head, I slowly drifted off to bed. Even my sleep couldn't keep my anxiousness about school the next day away.
I tried to make this longer, because I have a habit out of writing short chapters. So, yeah tell me what you think! :)
Note: AND BELLA's HAIR AND PIERCINGS ARE ON PROFILE.