A/N: Strong Language. Alternate version of the song "Shattered" By the band "Trading Yesterday"
"Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding.
Fall into your sunlight.
The future's open wide, beyond believing.
To know why, hope dies"
He couldn't let despair hold him back. Cam would see. Thanks to Brendan he'd probably never be the same again. Neither of them would be the same again. Cam wouldn't be able to tell him. Cam couldn't reach out and touch him, but Walker knew that Cam was still inside that shell. Cam's heart would never stop, his little brother could kick death's arse and win. Walker was sure of it. He didn't want to touch his brother's hand again. It was cold and clammy and Walker started getting paranoid. He wondered if the doctors and nurses were treating him well, if they were feeding him properly. He'd give anything to get his little brother Cam to talk to him again. Walker would give away anything... or anyone.
Looking up at the colourful glass windows Brendan got on his knees and prayed to the vengeful lonely god up above him. He knew it was wrong and he would go to hell for this. All he wanted was his father dead, was that too much to ask? A heart attack, hit by a car, a stroke that Seamus could never recovered from? His father was getting older by the day why couldn't God make him weaker? He could handle his sister's pain and take care of her. Life was so simple for Brendan when it was just the two of them. Cheryl didn't need anyone else, when she had her Big Beneficent Brother Brendan Brady.
"Losing what was found, a world so hollow.
Suspended in a compromise.
The silence of this sound, is soon to follow.
Somehow, sundown"
"Sir visiting times are over" The nurse said. If Walker didn't have work, he would have lived in Cam's hospital if it was legal. He slipped the Spurs ticket under his little brother's pillow and hoped tonight would be the night Cam would find it. He got to the flat he shared with two athletes. The Diaz brothers who bickered like cat and dog. "Can you keep the shouting down?" Walker asked. "I've got work tomorrow" "Sorry officer" Nate said stuffing salad into his mouth. His older brother Nick came out to get his Jacket and Walker went into his room. He couldn't stand Nick, not because of his personality, but because Nick had his little brother alive and well and Walker's brother was fading away slowly but surely. Nick didn't know how lucky he was having his little brother Nate by his side, all day every day.
"Night Cheryl" Brendan said as he put a blanket over his sister. She was covered in paper work and whipped cream was on her cheek. "Thanks..Bren...Night" Cheryl said as she hoisted the blanket up to her chin. "Say night to Da" Cheryl said. Brendan pretended that he hadn't heard her. He'd tried to be the perfect son in the past and where did that get him? In his father's bed getting punched in the face. Every son's fantasy. Brendan didn't want to sleep on the same floor level as his Da, but he made sure Seamus was asleep, really asleep before going to his own room. As Brendan took off his expensive shoes and slid of his jacket he wondered if his Da was afraid of the dark. Brendan was still scared to this day.
"And finding answers.
Is forgetting all of the questions we called home.
Passing the graves of the unknown"
"Doctor Davies...just give it me straight" Walker asked with Nick and Nate there to offer their support. Dr Davies looked at Cam's file before speaking. "His quality of life is the same as it was last month. Mr Walker, there's no progress" Dr Davies said. "Yeah but...Cam's not getting any worse" Walker said. "No, but the young man is in a state of interminable limbo" Dr Davies said. "We need to think about your brother's mental health" Walker gave the Doctor a stern stare. "Are you sure you're not thinking about your wallet?" Walker asked. "Having Cam here isn't cheap is it?" Walker asked. "Walker...just calm down" Nate said. "I'am calm" Walker said. "Dr Davies nothing is going off, Cam isn't going anywhere. I won't let him" Walker said getting up and walking out. Nick and Nate followed him.
"Cheryl please. I've got work up to my ears. Yeah Late nights. See you later...bye" Brendan sank down into his office chair ready to watch DVD's on his laptop. He could sleep here, well he wanted to but he knew he'd get an earful from Cheryl and he didn't want to face her...or his Da. There was a knock on the door and he thought it was one of the staff that had forgotten their wallets. "Yeah?" Brendan asked. The door opened and his Da walked in. A cheery smile spreading across his face like butter wouldn't melt. "Hey, how are ya son?" Seamus asked.
"Shit" Brendan thought, forcing himself to copy his Da's smile.
"As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading.
Illusions of the sunlight.
And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting.
With love gone, for so long"
Walker squinted as the staircase lights shone through the slightly open door. "You can't stay up forever" Nate said. "Go away" Walker asked looking on his computer for other hospitals that would take Cam on. "Cam's on the NHS right?" Nate asked. Walker nodded. "So this ain't about money, cause you told me and Nick that the NHS is like free? Right?" Nate asked. "Dr Davies, doesn't believe in my brother" Walker said. "That man takes the piss" Walker said staring at the screen. "No sleep, no work. No work, no cash" Nate said. "I know...thanks" Walker said pretending to turn his computer off. Nate left and Walker got back on the computer looking for locksmiths. He had to get a lock on his bedroom door.
"Now Da knows the truth, it's time you two spent some time together" Cheryl urged. Brendan would rather spend time in a shark tank than talk to his Da. At the club Brendan looked at his computer while his Da wanted to know about his businesses and how living with his sister was going. Brendan mumbled answers before his Dad had had enough, but he knew his Da wouldn't give up that easily. "Chez, you and me should go out for lunch. I'll take you somewhere fancy, cheesecake on me" Brendan said. If he took her out she could talk about her own life instead of Da's. "Sure" Cheryl said. "Just the two of us"
"And this day's ending.
Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know.
Knowing that faith, is all I hold"
After visiting Cam, Walker decided to look towards the future. Cam's future. He went to visit Nate and Nick at their training camp to see what they could offer his little brother. "Hey" Nate said. "Wanna stop boxing like a girl?" Nate asked him. "Girls can box, you should meet the McQueen girls" Walker said. "I just you know...wanted to see what you guys do. I...I want to take Cam here one day" Walker said. Nate and Nick looked at each other. Neither brother could see Cam throwing leg-kicks and tripping Nate over and mounting him, but if Walker wanted to keep the dream alive then they stepped aside to watch Walker's illusion without chucking popcorn over Walker's movie screen. "Sure" Nate said. "You...umm...wanna go on the treadmill?" Nate asked Walker.
"Keep up Bren, there's a coffee shop near by" Cheryl said. "You said that over an hour ago" Brendan said carrying her shopping bags. "Bren when I ask you if a dress suits me, you don't give me an honest answer" Cheryl said going into another clothes shop. Twenty five minutes later Brendan was finally able to put his sister's shopping bags down and get a drink. "What you having?" Brendan asked. "Whatever her Da is" Seamus said popping out by Cheryl's side like a Jack in the box. "Da it's about time you let your hair down and had some cake. Go on treat yourself" Cheryl said.
"It's up to your brother" Seamus said looking at Brendan. "Do I deserve a treat son?" Seamus asked.
"And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand.
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love"
"Cam don't be shy mate. You can squeeze my hand if you want" Walker said. He put his hand under his little brother's and was prepared to wait until the end of time. Nate came through the door. His brother Nick had no idea he was there. He'd lied and said he'd gone to see Junior Dos Santos at another camp. "Nate you don't have to be here. Cam and his health, it's none of your business" Walker said too focused to see the confusion on Nate's face. "We're friends you know, I just wanted to see if you needed anything" Nate said walking closer to Walker. "I've got my little brother" Walker said. "That's all I need" Nate sat down on a chair watching Walker's grief, but unable to understand it.
"You two have fun. The Club needs me" Brendan said getting up and away from his family. "Come on Bren we need you" Cheryl said. Brendan told her he'd see them at home. He took Cheryl's shopping bags and put them in her room. He made himself some cheese on toast and put ketchup on it. Da hated him doing that. He didn't want to see good food ruined by cheap red stuff. Sooner or later Seamus would screw up and Cheryl would see the animal that Seamus was. But it couldn't happen today, not while his sister was having so much fun on her Daddy's Day out.
"Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on.
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning.
Who I am from the start, drag me home to hell's path
Let him go and he will run, Brendan has to be silent"
"Junior cool?" Nick asked his little brother as he came through the door with Walker. "Yeah, Walker gave me a lift back" Nate lied. Walker refused a fruit salad and went to his room. He wasn't ready to face Brendan, but he was ready to be ready. Taking the Brady empire down wasn't going to be easy, but he had contacts, people who owed him and nothing to lose. He'd get advice from The Diaz brother's on self defense. Learn whatever he'd have to. Walker would pay for MMA, Tai Quan Do, Wrestling, Boxing, Kickboxing whatever sport was needed to fight to get justice for Cam.
"Joel are you asking for another slap round the face?" Brendan asked. Little Joel Dexter. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. "I'm not beating your Dad up. I'm not doing anything that will put me back on probation. Or worse in jail like you" Joel said. "So why the fuck are you here?" Brendan asked. "I never called you Joel" Brendan said slowly sitting on the sofa. "What do you think I want?" Joel asked. "A brain transplant?" Brendan asked. "Stability Brendan. Money. Theresa want's space and she shouldn't have to nick stuff cause I can't provide shit for her" Joel said.
"Joel there's something you need to know. You're just like your Dad's. A born loser with no shame. Now get the fuck out. I don't need the likes of you ruining my sister's day" Brendan said as Joel stormed out.
"Yesterday He lied, tomorrow's bleeding.
He can't fall into your arms tonight"
"Nick's made lunch. You know, it's just a salad" Nate said. "I'm not hungry" Walker said. "So" Nate said sitting on Walker's bed. "What's the plan?" The younger fighter asked. "I need your help" Walker said. Nate's heart beat quickened. "You and your brother's" Walker said. "I don't want to be a pushover. Cam was already a weak target and I have to make the people responsible pay" Walker said. "What was Cam like?" Nate asked. Walker looked up at Nate sharply. "You mean what is Cam like" Walker corrected.
"Yeah...that's what I meant" Nate said.
"Get out Nate" Walker said.
"Get out of here love, I'm not wearing that" Seamus said to his daughter. "Da it's trendy" Cheryl said wiggling the coat in front of him. "I'll try it on if Brendan does" His father asked. "Go on Bren try it" Cheryl said, but Brendan couldn't act out his sister demands. If he went anywhere near his Da's Jacket he'd rip it to shreds-with gloves. Cheryl try something on, I want you to keep up with my great fashion sense" Brendan said. "Cheek! But yeah, Da should see all the great stuff I bought" Cheryl said going to her room. "Women eh?" Seamus said. Brendan walked out of the room into the kitchen and looked at the kitchen knife that he'd washed yesterday evening.
"All this time spent in pain, wasted fear, hateful games
All is lost, hope remains, and this battle's not over.
There's a fight, Cam can't run, sleep in peace shattered one
Walker rights Brendan's Wrongs, and his hate will conquer all"
"Morning sunshine" Walker said as he pulled back his little brother's curtains. Sunlight flooded through his brother's room and his hoped that inside his little brother was smiling. "Time for breakfast" Walker said as the nurse came in with Cam's breakfast. It was a bowl of wheat-a-bix with food thickener. Walker mixed the wheat-a-bix and put spoonfuls into his little brother's mouth. Cam gulped silently and Walker used a tissue to wipe away the drool sliding out of Cam's mouth. "Ready to kick ass?" Nate asked. "Nate can you wait outside, this is private" Walker said shielding Cam away so that Nate couldn't see or judge his little brother. "Yeah...right" Nate said walking out in anger.
Brendan hadn't been to the gym in a while. But he just needed to let out some steam. He went on the treadmill jogging the running away from all the problems that were filling his mind. He turned around and he could see Doug staring at him with big hopeless eyes. Brendan didn't need the judgement especially from a tourist that couldn't keep his boyfriend happy between the sheets. After running just to spite the American average Joe, Brendan ran home ready to take a shower. "God son you stink" Seamus said with his nose in a newspaper. "Yeah, well" Brendan said going to the bathroom and checking the lock on the bathroom door still worked.