Author's Notes: Invader Zim is the brainchild of Jhonen Vasquez. Anyway, I just got to wondering where little Irkens came from, and this is the result.
Playing God
A thin, lank form slid among the birthing tube halls. His feet made no sound upon the metal floor, for they hovered inches above the ground. His brilliant scarlet robes stood out in the dim light, but the nursery workers glanced away as he passed by. The sudden appearance of their Tallest Red was a mystery, but not one the workers wanted to question him about. If he wanted their attention, he would announce it.
A small shiver rocked through Red's body as he stared at row after row of bottled Irkens. These tiny creatures were Irk's future, grown from gene cultures of other Irkens. For as far back as Irk's recorded history went, the computers had been responsible for maintaining Irk's population. But what came before?
Red knew, and so did Purple, though everyone else on Irk remained ignorant. Red reached for one of the tubes and pulled it from its socket. The hoses that kept the tube filled with the life-giving nutrient fluid followed. Tapping at the transparent glass, Red managed to get the growing infant to look in his direction, though the infant could only see vague forms through the nutrient fluid. "Almost time for you to be unbottled," Red murmured to the baby before sliding the tube back into place.
Red resumed floating down the halls, his long fingers brushing along the bland glowing faces along the wall. "Pets and cannon fodder," Red sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. Irkens were taught, even before they came out of the tubes, that they were superior to all other species in the universe. Learning otherwise was a shock that Red still couldn't get over.
The discovery had been pure accident. Purple had run across mention of the Cordrans during his research and, having never heard of that species before, began to dig deeper. Red knew that if Purple had any idea of what he would have found, Purple would have closed off that line of research immediately.
Stepping out of the nursery and into the dim Irken sun, Red fingered the disk hiding in his hoverbelts. Purple had stored his findings on disks. Red despised the information hidden on this disk. But destroying the disk wouldn't change what he knew. Red growled angrily and smashed his fist into a wall. He didn't know why it mattered so much knowing that Irkens had been created to serve a now-extinct race, but it did.
Red's Voot driver bobbed his antennae politely, but otherwise made no other greeting as Red stepped inside. Red didn't mind. He wasn't in the mood to get chatty with the hired help. Instead, he put up the privacy screen between himself and the driver and began to play the disk.
A holographic recording of a Cordran popped up on the display. The simian face was wrinkled and ancient, and the creature's green fur was fading in patches to a dull gray. Yet the Cordran's eyes still shown bright and intense. Purple had thoughtfully run the audio track through a translator.
"Log 618," the Cordran said. "We've finally made a breakthrough with the project. We have finally had one of the Intelligent Recreative and Killing Neocordran survive." The screen flashed away from the Cordran to show an Irken infant. "Now that we have the proper nutrient liquid determined for survival ratio, we may start cloning more IRKNs. Training will be strictly controlled while the fetus is grown. Loyalty programming will, of course, be our highest priority. It wouldn't do to have our own creations turn on us." The log ended with the Cordran laughing over what he was sure was a witty joke.
"Well, look who rules this planet now," Red growled uselessly as he browsed through the contents of the disk. More scientific logs, schematics for the nurseries, contents of the training recordings which were played into the tubes while the fetus develops, and a biological analysis of the IRKN. Curious, Red opened the last.
A different Cordran appeared on the screen - female this time. "The public has started demanding female IRKNs, so we shall be developing a few with female characteristics. After much consultation, though, it was decided that the IRKNs will continue to remain asexual. There would be no way to maintain control of their training if they start breeding on their own." The female Cordran vanished, and in her place came up charts detailing the minor differences between male and female IRKNs.
Red skipped through the charts. He already knew how to tell the difference between males and females. Another video file came up - this one of a male and female IRKN. Both looked exactly like their modern Irken counterparts, yet both were caged like animals. The female Cordran stepped into view. Instead of seeing just a face this time, Red could see also make out a podium. This one must be a recording of some sort of lecture. The Cordrans soft, almost gentle, voice sounded again, confirming Red's guess. "Good day, class. No doubt you've all heard of the IRKN project. Some of you may even have your own pet IRKN. Today we will be studying how well put together these genetic constructs are. As you can see, we have both a male and female specimen. They shall be injected with a lethal hydrogen and oxygen combination, and we'll set to work."
The camera panned back to the caged creatures, and Red watched in horror as they were given the injections. The only sound they made was a small squeal at the needle prick. Red fast-forwarded, not wanting to watch them die, but then came the dissection. The Cordran sliced into the bodies with the precision of a machine. Occasionally, as she described the organs, she'd crack a joke.
Red considered himself a seasoned warrior. He knew how to deal with death, but this was too much. Whipping down the privacy screen, Red screamed at the driver to stop. The Voot landed and Red stumbled out. His limbs trembled and he dropped weakly to the ground where he began heaving. Even after the contents of Red's stomach lay in a puddle, the heaving still continued. Overhead, a screen displaying a green monkey floated. Red's lips curled in a silent snarl as he stared at it - probably the only remnant of the Cordran culture left on Irk, and it took the form of the Irken God.
Climbing shakily to his feet, Red wiped at his mouth, trying to ignore the horrid metallic aftertaste. "Home," was all he said to the driver as he returned to the Voot. One of the pluses of being Tallest was that you never had to offer any explanations.
Another log was playing. Red put it on pause, not wanting to hear it at the moment. So, this was Irken history. They'd been created to serve as pets and soldiers for some other species. And then something had happened. Had the IRKNs revolted? Had the Cordrans just died out? Purple's disk held no answers.
When the Voot at last arrived at the palace, Red went straight to his room. He shoved the disk into a desk drawer. What he needed now was action. Grabbing a shelf, Red pulled it down with a resounding crash. The armchair beckoned and Red began pummelling it. His fists slammed into the cushions. How good it felt to be doing something! Red reduced his room to shambles until he was worn out and lying in the floor. Maybe in some ways he was little more than an animal, but he would always also be more too. He couldn't change the past, but he could rise above it.
Irkens were a greater species than the Cordrans could ever have imagined. They'd risen above being just pets and had created their own rich culture. No mere animal could have done that. Tired, but satisfied, Red rose and hovered to the balcony. Irk's sky glowed a brilliant red as the sun set. "Irk," Red murmured to himself with a proud smile. "Not Cordra. Never again will Irkens be slaves to another race."