Speed Raver Vs. Speeder Racer: The Ultimint Showdown

A/N: I ned 2 get other writing block thingy, sew I can proof that I stil live, sew I decideed to mack a one-shot off sumthin difrent 2 get myself in shape. I was reding sum TV Tropes, ans fond the Speed Racer paige, and decided Wynaut(GEDDIT!). I decied 2 dew the evil doubleganger plot, sins tat is prat of the finale of Dahlia Hawthrone Escaps Pirson, sew I can use tis as practice.

Speed Racer was siting in his bedroom, searching the internet on his typewriter, sins it was the 60s, and computers hadn't ben invented yet. The typewriter went "DING!" ans he pushed it, but accidently pressed a link will dong so. It sad there was a knew race in town, sew he jumped owt off his chair, and ruined 2 his garage, were he had the Mac5, evan thou computers still weren't invented, butt tis was a car, sew tat din't matter.

At the racing place, their were a lot off cars, ans Speed Racer joined. There where lots of grate duds racing at the race, such as Speed Racer's brother, Racer X, who was Speed Racer's brother, but he din't no tat Racer X was his brother. Their was oslo Damien Hurst, who was a famous F1 driver in Britain, ten their was oslo Dick Dastardly, who is form Wacky Races, witch is the gratest racing show ever made. Mario wood have ben their, but tis was the 60s, sew he codn't be there. There where oslo a lot off otter duds, but I don't haf tim 2 list tem al, sew I'll mention tem in teh race if tey do anythin impotent in the race.

Butt ten, a car tat locked lick the Mac5 appeared, ans their was a dud tat looked lick Speed Racer in it. He smirked at Speed Racer, "Hi, I'm Speeder Racer, with tis Mac6. It's faster ten the Mac5, and I'm a better driver ten u. I wil defeat in tis race, ten I wil win the money, and buy ur Mac5, sew I can destory it 2 make the Mac6 evan better, and u wil nether be able 2 race again!" he eviled. Speed Racer was quit anger at tis smug prick, ans prepared 2 beet him by any meens tat he cod have needed in order to win.

The race annoncing dud ten shooted "3, 2, 1, GO!" and ten they went. Dick Dastardly taked the leed at the begining off the race, and ten put don an oil slick, witch blowed up sum off the jineric racers, and he laffed. Speed Racer was 2 smart thou, and drived at the oil slick sew it went under the car, and codn't reech his wheels. Butt ten Speeder Racer cummed, and he mad his Mac6 car jump other the Mac5, leeving Speed Racer confused. Ten Damon Hurst drived 2 the side off the oil slick, sins he had F1 car, and it was thin enuf 2 dew tat. Racer X drived at the midle off the oil slick just like Speed Racer did, and used the slipsteam 2 keep up wif him.

Tey soon leeved the oil slick, and begined 2 chase after Speeder Racer, who was getting redy 2 fit with Dick Dastardly. Dick Dastardly laffed at tis, butt lost attention, and crashed in2 a billboard. Speeder Racer taked the lead, ans the otters passed by the billboard, as Dick Dastardly angered, "Curses, foiled again!"

Meenwil, Speed Racer cached up to Speeder Racer, and ramed him, "Hey, watch were ur putting tat car, u f-cking psycho!" shooted Speeder Racer, butt Speed Racer ramed him agan, and smashed hem in2 a wall. Speeder Racer screamed, "I'll b back, Speed Racer, if it's the last thing I do!" and Speed Racer smarted, "It will be!" and Racer X and Damin First(GEDDIT!) lolled at how clever Speed Raver was.

Juts ten, Racer X's car went in2 the air, sins Dick Dastardly had returned, and used the pointy thing on his car to springboard Racer X lick in the 1st Wacky Races espiode. Butt ten Racer X boosted in air, and landed on top of Dick Dastardly's car, and bounced in2 the lead.

Ten a car mad off ice soddenly drived on, and it was Pingu. (A/N: I don't no wen tat show started. I herd sumthin abot it been the 90s in Japan, butt it mite haf started in the 60s in Antarctica, ten it took a long tim 2 get it started in Japan sins Japan is sew far away form Japan.) He went "Noot noot", and ten throwed ice at Daimen HHist, and it landed in his engin, witch ten turned the ice in2 water, and it diluted the fuel, sew he slowed down.

Speed Racer was now in 2nd palace, and Dick Dastardly was sneeking up behind him, butt ten Speed Racer drived in2 a field ass a short-cut, and scared away sum sheep. Dick Dastardly wasn't redy 4 tat, ans taked the normal track, wile Speed Racer went in2 the leed. But ten Dick Dastardly was hit in the back, ans it was...

...

...

..

.

SPEEDER RACER!

Speeder Racer lolled ass he ramed Dick Dastardly agan, butt ten Dick Dastardly throwed glue at him, ans sticked him in palace. By the tim Speeder Racer escaped, he was now in 14th place, been passed by Pingu, Stalin, The Beetles, and sum genric racers.

Stalin was racing rely fats, sins he wanted the prize money 2 buy Japan and turn it communist, sew The Beetles had 2 stop hem or this story wood becum a tim paradox. Tey shooted "Liverpool!" and Stalin getted distracted. Ten Ringo Star opned a tin of Ringo Sutta apple juice, and ten throwed it at Stalin, witch mad him stop 2 drink it, sins the apples where red, lick communism. Ten by the tim he was finished, The Beetles where long gong, and ten Stalin crashed instantly, sins he was drinking and driving, witch u shudn't dew, and tat eliminated hem form the race, sins he was arrested for the drinking and driving. (A/N: I no it's apple juice, butt apples are made off cider, and the cider was wat mad Stalin drunk)

The Beetles continued and getted behind Dick Dastardly, ten he was lick, "U band people want past?" ans The Bettles sad, "Liverpool!", and Dick Dastardly lolled, "Sorry, but tis is my race 2 win, and he speeded past.

There was a gap in the road, and the racers needed 2 tak a brige 2 the otter side. Butt Speed Racer used the Mac5's pogo stick in ordre 2 skip the bridge ans cross the gap. Dick Dastardly din't notice the gap, ans drived other it, not falling sins he din't look down. The otter racers din't realise tis, and taked the bridge, slowing tem down.

The race went in2 a cave, witch Speed Racer darted in2, ten Dick Dastardly followed him. Tey din't no tat Speeder Racer had caught up 2 tem, again. The cave getted dark, butt it sodenly got a lite, but ten Speed Racer started gong faster wen the lite turned owt 2 be dynamite. Dick Dastardly was confused, sins he din't see the dynamite, until it's gunpowder was alredy on his car, sins the dynamite blowed up on hem. Speeder Racer laffed all evil, sins he had stoped Dick Dastardly. Racer X oslo passed by.

Otter racers where delayed, sins the expulsion off the dynamit had ignighted the coal in teh cave, leeving a big fire their. Dick Dastardly getted idea, ans getted a pipe, and sticked it 2 his car, ans mad the fuel go owt the pipe, and in2 the fire, igniting the fuel rely fats, ans giving him a massive turbo, sew he drived owt off the cave and rammed Speeder Racer rely quikly, and sent hem flying off a cliff.

Dick Dastardly getted behind Racer X, butt the turbo weared off. Racer X pressed a button 2 put a forcefield arond hem, butt Dick Dastardly wasn't gong 2 hit him. Instead, he used his spikey wheels to tear up Racer X's wheels, and make hem stop 4 repairs.

At the bottom off the cliff, Speeder Racer was rely anger, ans grabbed a bunch off stuf owt off the Mac6, such as rope, hooks, poles, and wheels, ten he worked on making a pully, sew he cod lift the car bak up the cliff. He getted smart, and knowed tat the oppisate cliff was furhter down the track, sew he put his pully their. He started turning the rope arund the weel, ans went up. He soon getted back on top, ans was now juts behind Speed Racer.

Bak at the cave, a car tat was on fire drived owt. It was Stalin who had escaped form prison using diplomatic immunity, butt the fire off the coal had set his car on fire, ans he was on evan moar fire becos off the cider. Butt ten the fire mad him unable 2 see, ans combined with the drinking and driving, he drived off the same cliff, ten falled 2 the bottom while he was still burning on fire, and he died.

There was an epic explosion wen Stalin's dead corpse landed, ten he died awesomely. It mad a hole in the cave, so the otter racers used it 2 get past the fire.

Bak wit Speeder Racer, he confornted Speed Racer, and lolled evily, "I think I mite juts take apart ur Mac5 now, and save myshelf the trouble of paying u." ans he grabed a chiansaw. He swinged at the Mac5, butt missed, and ten Speed Racer rammed hem, making him drop the chainsaw, and it fell down the cliff. Speeder Racer getted angry, butt ten juts drived past Speed Racer and in2 the leed. Dick Dastardly sodnely arrived, and oslo passed by, and chased Speeder Racer. He ten reeched hem, ans stared him down.

Bak with Speed Racer, he was rammed by Racer X, and getted confused, "Y aren't u ramming me other 2 the canyon." but Racer X sad nothing, and drived past. Speed Racer was confused, butt Racer X knowed the reason was becos he didn't want 2 hurt his bother, evan thou Speed Racer din't no tat Racer X was his brother.

The Beetles where now in 5th place, ans gong around the cliffs supper fast, sins tey needed 2 cach up. Butt ten another car speeded past, ans it was sew fast, tat it went past Speed Racer within seconds.

Soon, Racer X had cached up with Speeder Racer and Dick Dastardly. Tey were gong 2 fit each otter, ass Dick Dastardly throwed a bomb 2 Speeder Racer, who kiked it 2 Racer X, who sent it back to Speeder Racer, who headbutted it at Dick Dastardly, who punched it 2 Racer X, who sent it bak at Speeder Racer, who thowed it 2 Racer X, butt he lobed it at Speeder Racer. Juts b4 Speeder Racer cod catch it, he sodenly freezed in shock, ans ten the bomb landed in the Mac6 and exploded on hem.

Sodnely, form behind the 3, the Watarimobile drived in, and Watari smarted, "I new I cod mess up tat Speeder Racer wanker if I just waited." He drived evan faster than he normaly does, sins tis was the 60s, so he was young and cool, instead of being old but stil rely cool lick he is in the present. He was now in the lead.

Racer X and Dick Dastardly raced on past the slowed down Speeder Racer, sins Watari had shot him wif the snipper rifle. Racer X sodenly fond his car chained 2 Dick Dastardly's. Dick Dastardly explanned, "I rely lick ur skills, sew I think we shud team up in ordre 2 beet tat British dude." ans Racer X decided, "Ok" ans ten tey went.

Speed Racer reeched Speeder Racer, who had juts recovered, ans now drived paralel 2 him. Speeder Racer lolled, "U can't beet me, Speed Racer." ass his left arm glowed, "U mite be the demon on wheels, but I'm the angle on wheels!" ass his arm turned in2 a black wing, and the 'Bells, frogs, big cheries, jingle belles, magic chese' song beginned playing. Speed Racer ramed him, "U thin tat becos ur evil, u can use a black wing? Tat's racist!" ans Speeder Racer evilled, "But I'm evil, off course I'm racist." and he rammed bak.

Ten Speed Racer getted a bit ahead, but ten Speeder Racer rammed in a suck a way sew he cod shove him, "I'm gong 2 slam u in2 the cliff face and sent ur car al the weigh 2 teh scrap pile!" he smirked al evil, but ten Speed Racer spined at the last second, ans escaped the shove, b4 heading forwards. Speeder Racer screemed ass he slammed the cliff face sew hard, he went threw it, and crashed in2 the TNT storeroom, witch mad an even more epic explosion, and he died.

Speed Racer breathed a sigh off releif, sins he had escaped tat madman. He ten pressed his turbo button, ans quickly getted 2 were Dick Dastardly and Racer X were, ten he careered arond tem, ans begined 2 pursue Watari. He turned a coroner, ans seed Watari on the home striaight. Sins it was the home straight, there were no more turns, so Speed Racer pressed ever turbo button 2 go ass fast as posable. The crowd where cheering, as Watari was seconds away form the finish line, butt at the last moment, Speed Racer went past him, and winned the race.

Later tat day, Speed Racer returned home, and Steve Jobs happened 2 b passing by. He told Speed Racer, "Hey, I'm working on inventing computers. I've got a model called the Mac5."

OBJECTION!

Speed Racer went 2 cort and sued Steve Jobs over the Mac5 name. He easily convinced Judge Judy 2 take his side, sins it was the 60s, sew she was kid like him, and ten she made Steve Jobs give Speed Racer $5,000,000,000,000, witch he put in2 the vault sew it woodn't be stealed.

The End

A/N: I rely enjoyed writing tis, and it was quite cool 2 have it in the past. I hop u enjoyed it 2. Hopefully tis will fix the writing blocks 4 me. See u later.