Numb. Nothing could break her trance, because she was already there. Disconnected. Lost. Even the thunderous pounding of boots on the stairs could not faze her. Nothing could anymore. She'd stared death in the face from both sides. She was staring at one side of it now. Her nightmares, her fears, her weaknesses, all springing from one vicious source that now lay dead in front of her. 'This is the last thing you are going to see…' She couldn't unsee it. Amelia's cries joined the ringing in her ears, the gunshot, the muffled cries, the slap of cuffs; all those sounds of agony pulsating in her ears.
"Liv." The familiarity of that, the safety and comfort that the use of her nickname accompanied, grounded her. The ringing stopped. She looked up. And immediately wished she hadn't. She'd never felt more raw, more exposed. Last time it was only her partner and Fin waiting her when she stumbled out of the house. Now, here, it was everyone she knew. The only ones that stayed. She wouldn't chase them away too, would she?
"He's gone. He was…he was about to…shoot me." She choked out. But he hadn't. She needed someone to believe her. 'They're not going to believe you now…' She thought speaking those words aloud would bring her relief and reality, but he was still here. In her head. His life and his death etched in her mind. She couldn't decide which was worse.
"Not another word!" Good. She didn't want to talk anymore. The ringing came back.
"Get 'em both outta here now!" She almost forgot about Amelia. She stole a quick glance over, only to see worry painted all over Amanda's face as she cautiously studied her. Examined her. Evaluated her. Fin's shocked face morphed into the background, becoming a blend with the questions, critism, doubts, and mistrust that she already felt swirling around her.
"No one touch anything!" She cringed as Nick undid the cuffs binding her to the table with a click and a snap, the anonymous SWAT member untaping her legs from the table. She offered no resistance, just as she hadn't with Lewis. The sound of his sick desires echoed in her ear, his harsh and desperate grabbing, his branding kiss, his needy breaths as he tried to…
"We go now; this is a crime scene." "Liv?"
Nick's voice cut through the ringing in her ears, and she snapped her head to meet his questioning gaze. He subtly nodded towards her belt, a strange sort of sadness clouding his eyes. Worry laced itself in his next words, words she'd only heard directed at her once before and hoped never to hear again. "Did he…?" The voice faltered.
"No." She hoped he believed her. She quickly zipped up her pants and tightened her belt, disgust crawling along her skin. Nick turned to the side to give her some semblance of privacy. Some sense of self-preservation. He turned back to her and supported her under her arms, leading her away from the work table. His tough was gentle but firm. As if he thought she might fall. She couldn't blame him.
"Let's get you out of here." He led her down the steps. Those words should have felt final. It was over. She should feel escape. Relief. Freedom. But, as the car door shut on her in the back seat, if she were honest with herself, she'd never felt more trapped.