The conversation had started playfully enough. The beer had been too hot to enjoy and the air too thick with the summer's humidity to call fresh but it had been just the two of them. Ben had been grateful for that. The banter had started as Ben expected it to. Jimmy was never happier than when he was berating Ben and Ben was never happier than when he was with Jimmy. It worked out.
"You know your brother must be completely deaf if he can't hear you coming," Jimmy had called back to him after Ben had tripped over a log.
He'd beamed in response. Jimmy had rolled his eyes.
The trek out to their spot wasn't too long but it was far enough away that they were both certain they wouldn't be caught. Ben didn't think he would mind too much. The rest of the camp already thought he was a freak. That would just give some of them one more reason to hate him. Everyone, on the other hand, adored Jimmy. They'd be up in arms over poor, precious Jimmy polluted by the fiend with needles shoved halfway through his spine. Jimmy was uncomfortable enough with what went on and if being far away from the 2nd Massachusetts made him feel more secure, Ben was happy to oblige.
"This is only the third effing month we've done this, Mason. You could actually learn to help me build the damn fire," he'd barked while gathering kindling.
Bemusedly, Ben responded, "Yeah but watching you bend over to pick up sticks is far more entertaining than doing it myself."
He'd received a swift thwack to the side of his head for that comment but he decided it'd been worth the flush of color it had brought to the other boy's porcelain countenance.
"Shut up," he'd grumbled, scowling. The scowl had deepened when Ben's smile hadn't disappeared.
"Besides, my dad took Hal camping, not me. And I do the cooking."
The one time they'd let Jimmy cook it had ended with blackened deer meat and Ben had told him that the Skitters had been better cooks. Jimmy took great offense to the comment. Ben didn't get dinner or anything else he'd wanted that night. It hadn't worked out.
"You're freaking useless," the cooking thing was still a sore spot.
"No, babe, I think you're the useless one. Cooking is far more important than building fires. The cave men could build fires," he reached forward and lightly ruffled Jimmy's thick, dark locks. It had earned him another thwack to the side of the head.
"Don't call me babe," he replied through gritted teeth.
"I was kidding, James."
"You're really starting to piss me off."
"Don't I always?"
"Please, shut up!"
Jimmy had gotten the fire going at that point and had taken his obligatory seat next to Ben; close enough that their knees rested comfortably against one another though neither was putting exceeding pressure on the other. The older of the two sighed and pushed the sweat-drenched hair that had plastered to his face away, bringing his gaze down to Jimmy. Jimmy didn't look up. He just stared like he sometimes did. Ben wondered what he thought about when he wandered off like that, although he never asked. Jimmy never talked about his past, Ben talked about his plenty.
"Make me," he finally said, filling the heavy silence that had fallen between the two boys.
"What?"
"Make me shut up," Ben prompted, his goofy grin returning.
Jimmy rolled his eyes and mumbled something about not being drunk enough yet. Ben took that to mean pass another beer. It was his third.
Though Jimmy couldn't have been any older than 13 when the aliens had invaded Ben often wondered what kind of stuff the kid used to be into. It wasn't like he was a big guy. Jimmy couldn't have weighed more than 120 at the most. Yet Ben, who had at least 40 pounds on him couldn't drink more than one beer without feeling the effects of intoxication. After their third week out together, Ben had decided he must've built up a tolerance before the skies had fallen.
By his fifth, Jimmy's words had begun to slur.
"You gonna cook?"
"You hungry?" he asked lamely.
"No, I just asked you to cook because I like to, well actually I do like to watch." Jimmy grinned. Ben did too. Jimmy looked better when he smiled; less afraid.
Jimmy generally looked better when he was drunk. The shadows and burdens that had collected on the boy's face disappeared for a little while and the child that had once been came through. Color came to his sickeningly pale face and his eyes brightened from their usual icy, shallow stare. Jimmy's entire face softened and his personality went with it.
A couple of minutes later the woods were musky with the scent of sweat, humidity, and deer meat. Ben never had to put much effort into finding his prey. Lithe and limber he could track down anything from eagle to mountain lion, though for Jimmy it was always deer. Jimmy loved deer meat.
Soon there was nothing left to say between the two of them. Fire had been built and food had been cooked. Inhibitions had been eliminated along with the greater half of a 12 pack. All that was left was the two teens, not quite innocent but plenty curious; each staring at the other, waiting for one to make the first move though they both knew who it would be. It was always like this.
A hunger was quenched when they finally came together, both desperate for more but neither wanting to ask for it. They didn't want to make themselves vulnerable to the other. It was a dance, a fight, and a comfort all at once. The heat of the air around them disappeared and was replaced by something even more smothering. By the time they'd broken apart the fire had begun to sputter, casting strange shadows across their faces.
Jimmy was panting and Ben was inexplicably happy. The trademark scowl had returned to Jimmy's face when he brought a hand to his neck; remembering the feel of Ben's lips and teeth where they'd been just moments earlier.
"You asshole," he grumbled, rubbing the spot.
"What's your problem?" Ben asked breathlessly, not quite ready to spoil the peace between them.
"People are going to wonder," Jimmy replied lowly.
"You worry too much, Jimmy."
Ben took a hold of the younger boy's wrists and dragged him forward until their lips were not quite flush. Ben had his back to a tree and was leaning hard into it. He pulled Jimmy the rest of the way forward, allowing him to rest his weight against Ben. The kiss had a chastity that the ones earlier did not. Jimmy felt safer than he had in a while. His worries disappeared and all there was, was Ben.