Chapter 1
D for Dreadful
Most people really don't understand. They don't know the life of a tortured soul, they don't know the thoughts. They don't know how it is to be shattered, how it is to be torn open, requiring only distraction to pacify the pain. They don't feel the numbness inside, as I do.
Distraction is so simple to get, yet many are so picky when choosing it. They want to do certain things, even if there are limits set. I was lucky; I craved a simple distraction: Potions.
Samantha Fox, a sixth year Slytherin, sat in her common room with her friends Jillian McNamara and Monica Flynn.
"Potions next?" she asked.
"You know it." Monica said, turning a page in her magazine.
Samantha made a frustrated noise. "I'm the only Slytherin that sucks at Potions!"
"No you're – well, yeah, I guess you are." Said Jillian quietly.
"If I don't pass – and I don't think I'm going to – I won't get into his advanced course, and that means I can't work as a Healer!" She exclaimed dramatically.
"Don't worry. We're Slytherins, he'll pass us anyways." Monica assured her. She glared at her friend.
"I don't like it when you talk like that. Everyone in Hogwarts should have a fair advantage."
Monica threw her magazine across the room and fell back on the pillows. "Well if you don't like it, then chuck your Slytherin robes in the bin and go room with those loser Gryfinndors!" She snapped.
"Why can't you two ever be nice to each other? Your best friends, for Christ's sake!" Jillian cried.
"Because!" Both Samantha and Monica snapped, then they sneered at each other.
"I'm going to Potions." Samantha said sharply, hastily picked up her bag and exited to room.
"Good riddance." Monica muttered, but Samantha turned a deaf ear.
Samantha was the first to arrive Potion's classroom. Snape was reading a piece of parchment at his desk, his head bowed. If he noticed her presence he did not acknowledge her. Since he didn't ask her to sit as he usually asked of students, she remained standing until the rest of the class arrived.
As I looked over the progress report for the Slytherin sixth years, I noticed a student walk in to the dungeons. I did not greet her in any way, shape, or form; I was far too busy with her grades.
She had received 'P's on her last five assignments. To any other house that might be quietly attended to, but to Slytherin, it was shame. Pure and utter shame. It stung me to look at it. Nobody in my house failed. Ever.
Three minutes later, I noticed that that she was still standing there. I looked up out of the corner of my eye. Her light brown hair was held in a tight bun on the top of her head, her indigo/green/gold eyes swiveling around, hardly focusing. I was surprised at her manners. She had not taken a seat because I had not asked her to.
But it was much too late to take a liking to her now. Now I proceeded to break her spirit, to crush her dreams into a million pieces, to remove all her hobbies and pleasures if that's what it took for her to succeed.
And the most terrible part was, I knew that I was going to enjoy it.
"You may sit down, Miss Fox." Snape finally said. Samantha exhaled softly and went to her normal seat, across from his desk near the front. She pondered a long chain of idle, yet irrepressible thoughts until all of the students had entered the cold, dripping dungeons.
The lesson began. Samantha caught herself staring at the back of Snape's head as he wrote on the board. They were making an Awakening Brew, she had heard that.
"It is the most difficult potion we will be making all year, as it goes hand in hand with the Draught of Living Death. It will awaken the drinker from anything that has happened to him, all except death."
She listened for a moment and then began to stare into space. She didn't know how long she had been spacing when she heard his sharp call.
"Miss Fox!" he snapped. She jerked back to her senses to see his menacing face turned towards her. "Why are tea leaves used in the Brew?"
She thought quickly. "To enhance the flavor?" she guessed.
"Hardly." He sneered. "The stimulants in green tea leaves motivate the drinker. Now, can you tell me why you must use rain water instead of distilled water?"
"Er..."
"Wrong again, I'm afraid." He drawled coldly. "The minerals in the distilled water will counteract the dragon claw and make the potion ineffective."
"Ah." She whispered. She glared at him. "I'll remember that."
He sneered again, turned away, and began pacing the room. Samantha filled her cauldron with the rain water and gathered her ingredients. She made sure the flame was appropriately burning and began to stir in the shredded ivy. To her alarm, Snape stopped pacing and came over to watch her.
"You're doing it wrong." He pointed out vindictively. She looked up angrily.
"Well then why don't you tell me how to do it?" she asked acidly.
"I did. You weren't listening." He said nastily.
"Oh, wasn't I?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Silence!" He hissed. "That tongue of yours will get you in bigger trouble than you know."
"Oooh, that'll a tragedy!" She whispered viciously. He tutted with contempt.
Enemy - show me what you wanna be
I can handle anything
Even if i can't handle you
Readily - either way it better be
Don't you fuckin' pity me
Get up, get off...
What the hell am i sayin'?
I don't know about malevolent
Sure as hell decadent
I want somebody to step up, step off
Walls! Let me fall! Fuck you all!
Get a grip, don't let me slip 'til i drop the ball
I - i want it all!
Fuck this shit, i'm sick of it
You're goin' down, this is a war!
Who the fuck am I to criticize your twisted
State of mind?
You're leavin' me suspect - I'm leavin' you grotesque
Feels like a burn from which you never learn
Cause and effect, you jealous ass
Press your face against the glass - suffer!
I - i want it all!
Fuck this shit, I'm sick of it
You're goin' down, this is a war!
I've just begun
It's about that time
Gotta get mine
You can't kill me
Cuz i'm already
Inside you
Sick
-Slipknot -
"Please stay after class, Fox." He said quietly. She began to grind the dragon claw even harder, even though it was already an extremely fine powder.
By the time the potion was finished, it was not the mercury silver that it was supposed to be, but a strange purple. Samantha sighed, bottled it, and brought it up for a grade. She was the last one done. Most people were already packing their things and talking quietly.
He took the bottle wordlessly, uncorked it, sniffed it, winced, corked it again, rolled it around in his hands, set it down, and looked up at her.
"You added snail shell instead of kneazle hairs and you didn't let it simmer long enough. Congratulations, you have just earned your first 'D'." he said dispassionately.
"A 'D'?" she asked. Her mouth fell open.
"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to go sit in your seat and stay there after the bell." He snarled. Her nostrils flared, but she went and sat down all the same.
The bell rang and she remained seated, trying not to squirm. Finally, he looked up at her. She cleared her face of all expression. He rose from his chair and eloquently walked over. She straightened as he sat in the stool across from her.
"Your potions work is shameful, both you and I know that, Miss Fox." He started.
"Yes," she growled, looking up at him. "But is it because I do not realize my potentiality, or because I have an incompetent instructor?"
His lips became pursed. "I will choose to ignore that little comment, Miss Fox, but in the future you may not be so fortunate."
"I see." She crossed her arms and sat back in her chair.
"The reason I asked you to remain after class is a beneficial one. You are in Slytherin, and, under my authority, no Slytherin shall fail in Potions. It is simply disgraceful. So I have decided to be abnormally generous and offer you Remedial Potions." He explained. She frowned.
"Come again?"
"Remedial Potions, Miss Fox. Tutoring. Don't tell me you need Remedial sessions in the English language as well?" He asked coldly. She stiffened.
"I am perfectly fluent in English, thank you very much." She snapped. "And I would be...grateful for extra help. Thank you, Professor." She said with much difficulty.
"Be at my office on Thursday at eight o' clock. Be punctual, Miss Fox, because if you are a minute late I will not wait for you. My spare time is extremely rare and valuable, and if I had a choice, I would not be spending it with you." He said icily. This remark stung Samantha a little, but she brushed it off.
"I'll be there." She muttered and excused herself. She swung her bag over her shoulder and silently walked out, holding herself high. She fumed with rage. Well, if she had a choice, she wouldn't want to spend time with him either!
Remedial Potions...she thought.
"Bullshit!"
D for Dreadful
Most people really don't understand. They don't know the life of a tortured soul, they don't know the thoughts. They don't know how it is to be shattered, how it is to be torn open, requiring only distraction to pacify the pain. They don't feel the numbness inside, as I do.
Distraction is so simple to get, yet many are so picky when choosing it. They want to do certain things, even if there are limits set. I was lucky; I craved a simple distraction: Potions.
Samantha Fox, a sixth year Slytherin, sat in her common room with her friends Jillian McNamara and Monica Flynn.
"Potions next?" she asked.
"You know it." Monica said, turning a page in her magazine.
Samantha made a frustrated noise. "I'm the only Slytherin that sucks at Potions!"
"No you're – well, yeah, I guess you are." Said Jillian quietly.
"If I don't pass – and I don't think I'm going to – I won't get into his advanced course, and that means I can't work as a Healer!" She exclaimed dramatically.
"Don't worry. We're Slytherins, he'll pass us anyways." Monica assured her. She glared at her friend.
"I don't like it when you talk like that. Everyone in Hogwarts should have a fair advantage."
Monica threw her magazine across the room and fell back on the pillows. "Well if you don't like it, then chuck your Slytherin robes in the bin and go room with those loser Gryfinndors!" She snapped.
"Why can't you two ever be nice to each other? Your best friends, for Christ's sake!" Jillian cried.
"Because!" Both Samantha and Monica snapped, then they sneered at each other.
"I'm going to Potions." Samantha said sharply, hastily picked up her bag and exited to room.
"Good riddance." Monica muttered, but Samantha turned a deaf ear.
Samantha was the first to arrive Potion's classroom. Snape was reading a piece of parchment at his desk, his head bowed. If he noticed her presence he did not acknowledge her. Since he didn't ask her to sit as he usually asked of students, she remained standing until the rest of the class arrived.
As I looked over the progress report for the Slytherin sixth years, I noticed a student walk in to the dungeons. I did not greet her in any way, shape, or form; I was far too busy with her grades.
She had received 'P's on her last five assignments. To any other house that might be quietly attended to, but to Slytherin, it was shame. Pure and utter shame. It stung me to look at it. Nobody in my house failed. Ever.
Three minutes later, I noticed that that she was still standing there. I looked up out of the corner of my eye. Her light brown hair was held in a tight bun on the top of her head, her indigo/green/gold eyes swiveling around, hardly focusing. I was surprised at her manners. She had not taken a seat because I had not asked her to.
But it was much too late to take a liking to her now. Now I proceeded to break her spirit, to crush her dreams into a million pieces, to remove all her hobbies and pleasures if that's what it took for her to succeed.
And the most terrible part was, I knew that I was going to enjoy it.
"You may sit down, Miss Fox." Snape finally said. Samantha exhaled softly and went to her normal seat, across from his desk near the front. She pondered a long chain of idle, yet irrepressible thoughts until all of the students had entered the cold, dripping dungeons.
The lesson began. Samantha caught herself staring at the back of Snape's head as he wrote on the board. They were making an Awakening Brew, she had heard that.
"It is the most difficult potion we will be making all year, as it goes hand in hand with the Draught of Living Death. It will awaken the drinker from anything that has happened to him, all except death."
She listened for a moment and then began to stare into space. She didn't know how long she had been spacing when she heard his sharp call.
"Miss Fox!" he snapped. She jerked back to her senses to see his menacing face turned towards her. "Why are tea leaves used in the Brew?"
She thought quickly. "To enhance the flavor?" she guessed.
"Hardly." He sneered. "The stimulants in green tea leaves motivate the drinker. Now, can you tell me why you must use rain water instead of distilled water?"
"Er..."
"Wrong again, I'm afraid." He drawled coldly. "The minerals in the distilled water will counteract the dragon claw and make the potion ineffective."
"Ah." She whispered. She glared at him. "I'll remember that."
He sneered again, turned away, and began pacing the room. Samantha filled her cauldron with the rain water and gathered her ingredients. She made sure the flame was appropriately burning and began to stir in the shredded ivy. To her alarm, Snape stopped pacing and came over to watch her.
"You're doing it wrong." He pointed out vindictively. She looked up angrily.
"Well then why don't you tell me how to do it?" she asked acidly.
"I did. You weren't listening." He said nastily.
"Oh, wasn't I?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Silence!" He hissed. "That tongue of yours will get you in bigger trouble than you know."
"Oooh, that'll a tragedy!" She whispered viciously. He tutted with contempt.
Enemy - show me what you wanna be
I can handle anything
Even if i can't handle you
Readily - either way it better be
Don't you fuckin' pity me
Get up, get off...
What the hell am i sayin'?
I don't know about malevolent
Sure as hell decadent
I want somebody to step up, step off
Walls! Let me fall! Fuck you all!
Get a grip, don't let me slip 'til i drop the ball
I - i want it all!
Fuck this shit, i'm sick of it
You're goin' down, this is a war!
Who the fuck am I to criticize your twisted
State of mind?
You're leavin' me suspect - I'm leavin' you grotesque
Feels like a burn from which you never learn
Cause and effect, you jealous ass
Press your face against the glass - suffer!
I - i want it all!
Fuck this shit, I'm sick of it
You're goin' down, this is a war!
I've just begun
It's about that time
Gotta get mine
You can't kill me
Cuz i'm already
Inside you
Sick
-Slipknot -
"Please stay after class, Fox." He said quietly. She began to grind the dragon claw even harder, even though it was already an extremely fine powder.
By the time the potion was finished, it was not the mercury silver that it was supposed to be, but a strange purple. Samantha sighed, bottled it, and brought it up for a grade. She was the last one done. Most people were already packing their things and talking quietly.
He took the bottle wordlessly, uncorked it, sniffed it, winced, corked it again, rolled it around in his hands, set it down, and looked up at her.
"You added snail shell instead of kneazle hairs and you didn't let it simmer long enough. Congratulations, you have just earned your first 'D'." he said dispassionately.
"A 'D'?" she asked. Her mouth fell open.
"Yes. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to go sit in your seat and stay there after the bell." He snarled. Her nostrils flared, but she went and sat down all the same.
The bell rang and she remained seated, trying not to squirm. Finally, he looked up at her. She cleared her face of all expression. He rose from his chair and eloquently walked over. She straightened as he sat in the stool across from her.
"Your potions work is shameful, both you and I know that, Miss Fox." He started.
"Yes," she growled, looking up at him. "But is it because I do not realize my potentiality, or because I have an incompetent instructor?"
His lips became pursed. "I will choose to ignore that little comment, Miss Fox, but in the future you may not be so fortunate."
"I see." She crossed her arms and sat back in her chair.
"The reason I asked you to remain after class is a beneficial one. You are in Slytherin, and, under my authority, no Slytherin shall fail in Potions. It is simply disgraceful. So I have decided to be abnormally generous and offer you Remedial Potions." He explained. She frowned.
"Come again?"
"Remedial Potions, Miss Fox. Tutoring. Don't tell me you need Remedial sessions in the English language as well?" He asked coldly. She stiffened.
"I am perfectly fluent in English, thank you very much." She snapped. "And I would be...grateful for extra help. Thank you, Professor." She said with much difficulty.
"Be at my office on Thursday at eight o' clock. Be punctual, Miss Fox, because if you are a minute late I will not wait for you. My spare time is extremely rare and valuable, and if I had a choice, I would not be spending it with you." He said icily. This remark stung Samantha a little, but she brushed it off.
"I'll be there." She muttered and excused herself. She swung her bag over her shoulder and silently walked out, holding herself high. She fumed with rage. Well, if she had a choice, she wouldn't want to spend time with him either!
Remedial Potions...she thought.
"Bullshit!"