Chapter One--Headaches

Authors Note: Chapter One, featuring mainly the thoughts of Numair shortly after the collapse of the barrier, still in the palace. Oh, how I love Numair…sweet, ridiculously self-sacrificing, itty-bit angsty, and oh-how-delicious Numair. ahem. I'm done now. Swear.

Disclaimer: I own neither the plot, setting, characters, or any other subject pertaining to this ficlet. It is for my own (and others) twisted enjoyment. Please don't sue.

He sat in his study, elbows on the desk, forehead in hand. His long legs were cramped under the desk, and when she stood up he would undoubtedly have a large red spot where his hand had propped up his head for so long. There were large dark circles under his eyes, caused by tension, worry, lack of sleep, and despair.

Although his desk was strewn with layers of papers, parchment, and texts of every barrier spell known to man, his heart was not in his studies. That alone was grounds for concern. He found his thoughts, as they had so often these past days, staying to his young student; a place where they most certainly should not have been. He sighed heavily in frustration, shaking his head as if to clear his mind, for perhaps the tenth time that day. And as with his previous attempts, to no avail.

This was a problem. This was most certainly a problem. This had to stop; he had more serious concerns at the moment. Since the fall of the barrier days ago, they'd already seen mass increases of Immortals raining down on them, and it could only get worse; that barrier had fallen for a reason. He had far more pressing matters to deal with than a teenage girl! He immediately hated himself for the thought. No. Not a teenage girl. Daine. His student. His friend. His magelet.

But, it is true, argued that small, stubborn, and gods-cursed logical pat of his mind. The fate of the realm was thrown up in the air the moment the barrier collapsed. Now was not the time for distractions.

How long had it been now? Three hours, at least, he'd been locked up in his study. He still had his breakfast plate somewhere, never having taken the time to dispose of it properly. The sun had risen high in the sky, streaming in through the windows. He focused his attention on the book in front of him.

The magical properties of the Barrier stretching between Realms has thought to be a byproduct of a version of the Impasse encantum, further enhanced by the power of….That was perhaps the twentieth time he had read that sentence today. Focus! The magical properties of the Barrier stretching between Realms has thought to be a byproduct of a version of the Impasse encantum, further enhanced….His eyes continued to follow the print, his thoughts already drifting elsewhere.

Her pale blue eyes, cloudy and grey, storming through those lashes of hers…her thick, smoky, chestnut curls that so tempted him; oh to run a hand through her hair. Her stubborn chin and passionate nature; oh was it any wonder he loved her?!

For a moment he weighed his options. Tell her! His heart screamed. Just tell her, she deserves to know! But there was always the rebuttal. And what would she think then? She could either refuse me point blank, or worse; believe herself in love with me. She is so young and naïve, it would be so easy to delude her. I don't want her that way. And even if she wasn't deceived, that is hardly a better option. She would only be disgusted. I am fourteen years her elder! I would lose her. I would lose my Magelet. He'd been through this already, a thousand times. It was a full-scale war, between his heart and his mind; he feared whichever side won, he'd never be fully happy. He could only go with the best for her. There was no other choice. She could never find out.

He sighed in frustration. He loved her. With all of his heart, he loved her. It was a twisting knife in the gut to think she would never know, she would never return his affections. But he couldn't tell her. She was his best friend in the world; and if it meant living forever, growing old and watching her fall in love with someone younger, could he do that? The knife jerked upwards in his stomach with the thought of it. He would try. For her, he would walk through fire. He would try.

Leave it to fate that the object of his adorations would walk through the door at that moment.

"Numair? I brought lunch, you missed the bell…I figured you'd still be working, but you might have been hungry by now." Her voice was light, but there were undertones of worry in it too. She walked over to his desk, and cleared a little area to put the plate. That in itself was hard work; the clutter was layers thick of parchment and books, and she didn't want to disturb anything.

All of his daydreams hadn't done her justice. Against every ounce of will power in his body, his eyes lingered over her slender frame, her stormy eyes, those soft lips he yearned to devour in his own. No matter she looked disheveled and smelled faintly of the animals she so loved to work with; his young student was by far the most lovely creature he'd ever set eyes on. Damn it all, why did he have to fall for her? Of all the ladies at court, he had to fall for the one woman he could never have. Daine was untouchable, but oh, how he wanted her.

Snap out of it! He commanded himself fiercely. There she is, brought you lunch, and you haven't said two words since she walked in!

"…thank you, Magelet." Pitiful. He slapped himself mentally, and resolved to eat his meal. At least that gave him an excuse not to talk.

The girl smiled slightly, as she looked over her friend and teacher. He had the half-dazed look he normally wore if he'd been studying far too long, and a red splotch on one cheek where he had obviously been resting his hand. In normal circumstances, she would have laughed, but now she felt like crying. This war had just begun, and they were all running ragged. "Poor Numair. You look tired."

I'm not the only one, he though sadly. Her hair was tousled, and clothes obviously a little worn. There were dark circles under her eyes; she'd been as busy as the rest of them, lately. His mouth quirked upwards in a half-smile; he reached out to pluck a small grey feather out of her hair. "Scouting duty?" He asked.

Daine smiled sheepishly, and ran a hand through her errant curls, half expecting to find more feathers hidden there. "I've been looking for Immortals, trying to see how far off they are." He nodded. "I'd best get back, I just wanted to be sure you weren't starving yourself."

She made her way to the door, before turning to look at him. "Try to take care of yourself, Numair. You'll be no help to Jon if you forget to eat and have to spend the war in the infirmary. Duke Baird will have enough to do soon as it is." Her words were spoken gently, in teasing, but they held a serious note as well.

After he heard the click of the door shutting on her way out, the man at his desk groaned aloud. There was no doubt in his mind that this would be the hardest thing he had ever done. How in the name of Shakith was he supposed to go on as her friend, her teacher, for crying out loud! When it took conscious, physical effort to restrain himself?

Oh, Mithros have mercy.

Authors Note: Well, there goes chapter one, hope you enjoyed! The next one will have more of Daine. Please review, they make me smile! Even criticism would be welcomed, I need advice to keep writing!