From chapter 1

I also wrote in my diary .like a mad women here's one intro to me diary-

Dear Diary- August 15th 2005

You can ever even believe what just happened to me a t exactly 12:40- on August 14th

It was horrible "TABS" is cheating on momma I heard the sickest conversation between him and 'THAT WOMEN" and I confuted him and he DIDN'T deny it or anything but he made me swear not to tell.

And I haven't spoken to him or mom and haven't been out or my room

I, I just don't know what to think about this. I know I am shocked and angry but why would tabs cheat on his wife of twenty years and how could he make me swear not to say anything?.

I don't think I've ever felt so depressed and out of control in my life! How am I going to deal?. What's going to happen to my family?. What's going to happen to me? I-if they d-d-divorce where am I going to go?. Will mom be a wreck?. I can't let this happen. if he's not going the rise to occasion and man up. Then I will, if he won't fix his wrong doings' I will!

-BAY.

I know one thing out of this whole ordeal that I had do something because this secret was eating me from the inside out. I had to do something to get some control back in my life. And that something was food!..

DAY FOUR OF SEVEN-CHAPTER 2/- Locked in my room with ME, my TV, and diary for a week...

By day four I had officially diagnosed myself as a chronic "insomniac", not eaten anything since dinner of "THAT NIGHT!" And not spoken to friends (mainly my best friend "Desiree-Estella-Gwendolyn, Price ..Formally known as" Stella Price", age 16 1/2) I know I it's a long name but Desiree is her Nana's name, Estella is her Great Nana's name, Gwendolyn is her Great great Nana's name(all on her dad's side of the family because he adopted her at the hospital where she was born at right after the mom had her she handed her over to a doctor, and the doctor new this man "Noel Andrews- Price "was looking to adopt he was in his mid thirties and just lost his wife and he wasn't ready to settle down yet but he really wanted a child of his own . so the doctor phoned Noel and some of the workers from the agencies were there ready and willing to help him adopt his first child and low and behold he come home 7 hours later with his child. His mother and father came over to his home and helped him name is baby girl- "Desiree-Estella-Gwendolyn, Price" my BFF (best friend forever), or family I just couldn't ,if I did id be too afraid of spilling this haggard secret my lips held.

I spent Mainly that day writing and trying to rid myself of the night terrors just remembering that unlawful conversation I heard, and the one I had with my dad(TABS) If I didn't hear this would he of went all the "way" with her ?. TABS had told me this Affair was been going on for like four years Was It Secret dinners ?sleeping over here when moms not home? Sexy flirts at the office?

Or was it, you know!

Hot heated sex at the office at, her place, or here in Mom and TABS BED? I mean how many times have they "you know" had "sex?

And how was momma so blind?

Or maybe she just didn't want to see it. I sure wouldn't man. if I new my husband of twenty yrs was cheating some with some , 6'2, 100 lbs, Barbie doll whose half is age I'd kick is sorry ass out and divorce him Like" yesterday"

I feel so stressed these days this secret is latterly Killing me right down to the bones

I can't eat I can't Sleep I know I may be going overboard but it's harder to deal with something like when your really close to that person who betrays your trust its like you've died and gone to hell because you feel you can't trust anyone...

It's not to say the Anorexia stared right then I Just was so preoccupied to eat. But like in next three months my eating got so bad I didn't even get out of bed on till we stared packing.