Hello there! I've had this idea for a while now, but didn't have the inspiration to post until just now. Due to suggestive material, let's all imagine everyone's two years older than they are in the series - eldest are 16, Nudge is 13, Gazzy's 10, and Angel is 8. I hate doing it, but it's necessary.

Warnings: innuendos. Quite a few, in fact.

Prompt: The line in the book where Max says she's seen the birthmark on Iggy's back too many times to count.

Disclaimer: I promise (unfortunately), I don't own Maximum Ride (pity) or any of its characters (flat-out tragedy).

Enjoy - and Happy Valentine's Day!

Birthmark

"Psst."

Nudge groaned and pulled the pillow over her head, silently willing whoever was making noise to go and jump into a very deep, very cold lake. Didn't they know she needed her beauty sleep?

"Pssssst. Nudge."

"Mmph," she grunted. A small finger wormed its way under the covers and poked her ticklish ribs. Nudge gasped and shied away from the touch, her eyes flying wide open beneath the blankets.

"Nuuuuddge. Get uuuupp."
She knew that low whine. Gazzy. She peeked under the blankets at the floor and saw bright moonlight slipping over Gazzy's slippers. What was he doing, waking her up in the middle of the night? She was not a three-in-the-morning person.

"NUDGE!"

Nudge shot up from the covers, dark hair flying in a mess around her sleep-wrinkled face, and glared Gazzy down. "What, Gazzy?"

He leaned back, his eyes bright, wide circles in his face. "Whoa. Talk about bed-head."

Nudge groaned and patted down her unruly hair in a futile attempt to make it look pretty again. She rubbed wearily at her eyes and stared at Gazzy over her fingertips.

"What is it, Gaz? Why'd you wake me up?"
The smaller boy grinned and rocked back on his heels. She could practically feel the mischievousness rolling off him.

"You're never gonna believe what I saw! Fang's yelling at Max and Iggy!"

Nudge blinked. Had she heard him right, or was it like Iggy said, and her endless chattering had finally messed with her hearing?
"Wait…huh?"

"Yeah!" Gazzy giggled and tapped his feet like an excited little kid…which, well, he was. "So I was sleeping, right? And I heard someone yell. At first I thought we were gettin' ambushed by some Erasers or whitecoats or somethin', but then I snuck downstairs and saw Fang glaring at Max and Iggy like he'd caught them stealing cookies or something. And he starting talking to them about…well, I don't really know what, but they're still down there and you have to come see!"

All of Nudge's grogginess was gone. Fang, catching Max and Iggy doing something bad? How many times had that happened? Like, never? And how many times would it happen again?

"Alright, I'm coming," she said, and hurried to get out of bed.

"Okay," Gazzy said happily, and scurried over to the door on surprisingly quiet feet.

Nudge shivered as her bare feet hit the wooden floor. She followed Gazzy out of the room and toward the stairs, her breath coming in soft little spots as she tried to sneak as quietly as humanly possible. Gazzy moved with a stealth that could only come from sneaking Iggy's cookies out of their jar at some unholy hour in the morning.

The two mutants stopped in the middle of the staircase, where the moon's light couldn't reach them. Nudge leaned forward to take in the scene.

Max and Iggy were sitting on the couch while Fang stood in front of them and stared them down. Max looked guilty, embarrassed, and defensive all at once; even from this distance, Nudge could see the telltale redness on her cheeks. Iggy just looked amused. He was slouched against the couch with one arm slung over the back, fingers tapping along the worn cushions. Fang looked like he was trying very hard not to explode, which Nudge thought was good, because it was scary when Fang exploded. People went to their rooms and didn't come out for days.

Iggy leaned forward a little into a patch of moonlight, and that was when Nudge noticed. His shirt had gone missing.

"Come on, Fang," Iggy cajoled the older boy. "It's not like we were doing anything really serious."

Fang crossed his arms and lifted one imperious eyebrow. "Yeah? Where's your shirt, then?"

Iggy shrugged and scratched his head. "I don't know. I think it got lost while Max was running her hands all over —"

"Okay!" Max interrupted loudly. "I think he gets the picture. Sorry, Fang. We won't do it again."

Iggy's face fell. "We won't?"
"No!" Max gave him a dirty look that nearly made Nudge giggle at the way Iggy shrank back from it. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"But…"

"No," Fang said. "I'm serious, guys. What if I hadn't been the one to walk in on you? What if it had been Gazzy, or Angel?"

An awkward silence fell over the living room. Nudge and Gazzy exchanged wide-eyed glances.

"Umm," said Iggy. "They're gonna have to learn about this stuff eventually, so better sooner than later?"
Fang sighed and pressed his fingertips against his forehead. A vein started to throb so hard above his right eye that Nudge could see it even from the short distance between them. She stared.

"I don't think it's working," Max murmured loudly. "Nice try, though."

"Thanks," Iggy whispered back, and flashed her a smile that made Nudge's spine tingle like it did when Fang ran his hands over her shoulders or…

No. She shook her head, feeling embarrassed for some reason, and concentrated on the scene playing out before her.

"Just…don't let me catch you like this again," Fang was saying tiredly.

"Yes, Mom," Iggy said. Fang glared viciously.

Max had suddenly gotten a very sly, dangerous expression on her face. It made Nudge want to crawl in a dark corner and hide until the monsters went away.

"But Fang," the older girl said sweetly, "it's not like you haven't done anything. Right? With a certain someone just upstairs?"

Fang's eyes went wide with alarm. Nudge felt her heartbeat skip and run like it was trying to dart out of her chest.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Fang said quickly. Too quickly. Max and Iggy swapped smug, knowing looks.

"I think you know exactly what we're talking about," Iggy said meaningfully.

On the stairs, Nudge let out a startled squeak. Iggy jumped and suddenly stiffened, his sightless eyes growing into large circles.

"Um. Guys —"

"That's none of your business," Fang snapped.

Max colored instantly. "It is when you think you can reprimand us when you're doing the exact same thing behind our backs!"

"Guys, really —" Iggy tried weakly.

"At least I don't go sneaking around in the middle of the night doing that half-naked —"

"Who's naked?" Max yelled. "I'm not naked!"

Fang gestured sharply to Iggy's bare chest. "What about him? How'd you get that hickey on his back, anyway?"

"It's not a hickey, it's a birthmark, and you know it —"

"No, I wouldn't know, seeing how I don't go ripping his shirt off him every chance I get —"

"Guys!" Iggy yelled.

Fang and Max turned to him with twin expressions of fury, their eyes fairly popping out of their heads. "What?"

"Why are we spying?" Angel whispered loudly from behind Nudge and Gazzy.

All five mutants spun at the sound of Angel's whisper, mouths gaping wide open in four copies of the same goldfish-look. Only Iggy looked like he'd known it was coming. He groaned and buried his burning face in his hands. Max looked like she was about to deflate.

"How long have you guys been hiding there?" Fang asked with an expression that promised much retribution and punishment for the older mutants.

"A long time," Gazzy said helpfully. He jumped when Nudge dug her elbow into his ribs and gave her a hurt, confused look.

"Umm. Okay," said Max, and stood up to address the younger flock members. Iggy rose to stand behind her. "How much of that did you guys understand?"

There was a long, awkward silence. And then…

"What's a hickey?" Gazzy asked. He bounced up excitedly on his toes. "Can I have one?"

"No!" Max, Iggy, and Fang all shouted at once. Startled, the three youngest mutants jumped to their feet and raced up the stairs to save their lives.

Nudge clambered into bed and tried very hard to pretend that the night had never happened. Gazzy dove in with the dust bunnies and forgotten socks under his bed and wondered why teenagers were so crazy. Angel —sweet, innocent Angel — lay in bed and thought of ways to preserve her mind from her flock-mates' contagious insanity.

Downstairs, Fang was busy exploding. Max and Iggy did not come out of their rooms for a week.

The End

A/N: Revieeeew?

-Kimsa