AN:Wow.My first story that I actually dared to post on Fanfiction.I gotta mark my calender just for this...12/10 Posted my first story online(Kira,Kira,Kira).Thats just great.I really tried thinking this story through,and like many it always seemed to get a little out of hand!I'm trying to keep it simple enough..I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.Only in my dreams...and thats not much.. +++++++++++
Motoko Makami
'Haves conversations with her dead brother'-
I awoke with a fright of something in my bedroom crashing to the floor.With shaking hands I flicked on the lamp by my bed and examined the room.I couldn't tell exactly what had caused the noise but my balcony door was open so I quickly jumped out of bed and shut it and,for the first time in my life,locked it.I don't remember opening it...maybe...someone is in...?
I shook my head at the thought.I was just frighten about my dream...it wasn't like me to think so irrational.I Sinked back into bed and glanced at the silver frame on my night stand.A younger and innocent me smiling a gap tooth smile,my arms slung around my brother's neck,who gave a modest smile and trying to prevent his glasses from sliding off.We were at Space Land six years ago,it was the last time I had actually got see my brother.
The last time I was sure that I knew who he was.My brother who had a strong sense of justice,a great mind,a corny sense of humor that made me laugh besides myself,and a kind smile.I was like his twin,copying everything he did,his personality must have rubbed off me because I sometimes feel a strong dislike to some of the juvenile delinquents at my school.We also look so much alike.Brown eyes,messy brown hair,and the same high cheek bones.
My father cries in the middle of the night how we're so alike,he's so afraid that I'll end up just like him.Lying in cold blood.It's understandable,because of the world we all live in now.Kira,I'm sure everyone knows who he is by now.Why even little Jinn next door prays to Kira everyday.Kira,the psychotic serial killer that was trying to make his own utopia.He killed many criminals and anyone who didn't believe he was 'god'.
He died five years ago of a heart attack and,because of a leaked source,he was Yagami Raito.It was terrifying that anyone like Yagami could commit something like that.My brother knew and him were friends during junior high and high school,they really did enjoy each others company.Raito Yagami wanted to be a police officer or a detective he told me once,and my brother a lawyer,so I guess it was expected when they both had such a strong opinion about justice.
Yagami was also the top student of Japan through out his time in high school and at To-ho University.He was the next person other than my brother,that I truly admired.I knew he was going to go far in life.He was very handsome too,I admit I had a bit of a crush on him,but I knew it wouldn't happen because I was so young and had a brother that wouldn't allow it.I was almost thirteen at the time when when my brother started avoiding me and Kira seemed to be winning against L.
Then Kira was announced dead and my brother also,was stated a supporter of Kira,dead.He told me him self that Kira was 'god'.My father is Anti-Kira so at the moment I told him he was furious and prevented me from seeing my older sibling again.Of course he knew that it would kill me not to be with my brother.Many times I called him,sent e-mails,and even tried to visit him,but he never answered.
I was getting desperate.It hurt so much...didn't he want to see me?One day I went to his office and caught him off guard.hH was on his lunch break so he had vending machine buns and ramens and candy cluttering his desk.He looked up from a book and his eyes held a cold look,and he asked me almost hatefully,what was I doing here.I felt like I was a nuisance to him.After a few minutes though he looked at me kindly before he closed the black book and placed it down on his desk.We enjoyed lunch and talked quite a lot,it almost seemed like everything was normal...
He kept glancing over his shoulder with a strange expression and kept picking up the leather book every moment as if he thought it might have disappeared.It was unusual so I had asked him what was wrong,he shook his head saying nothing was wrong.But I knew him better than anyone.And he knew it too.The time I spent with him was short and just before I left he sighed Angrily and I knew he said that he was glad that I was gone,under his breathe.
I'm sure that in that book was plans for rallies and things that involved Kira.I've seen him holding it tightly before...at Space land.He promised to take me Space Land because I kept begging.So we went and it seemed like I was the only one who was happy to be together.We came to a Farris wheel at the end of the day and he actually smiled at something I said about being like the old times.A couple in the next cart were talking about Kira and how much they wished he would drop dead,I watched something ugly appear on my his face.His hand reached for the book but he stopped and glanced at me with a look of distrust and pain.
He then said this to me,Justice will always prevail.It was his favorite phrase,but for some reason it sounded different.Not Justice will always prevail,but 'Kira is god and will cleanse the world of non-believers'.I don't know why but it stuck with me all this time.I'm not supporter of Kira or a Anti-Kira...I'm just sitting on the fence wondering who is right.If one of my Anti-Kira classmates says 'Justice will always prevail' would it mean 'A world without Kira is worth fighting for'?
The thought of that day made my mind wonder back to the dream.I had dreams about my brother every night for the past five years.We are always at Space Land on the Farris wheel.My brother is deathly pale figure with rings around his eyes.I think he appears to me as a dead spirit.There are other people,faceless people that just walk by doing whatever.I always ask my brother before I can feel my self being torn away from that world how he knows Kira is justice when he killed his worshipers.He'd give me a evil look,a madness creeps into his eyes and sometimes he would weep making me feel like a monster.
But this night something different happened.Something wicked.When he had told me that I should make friends with the Kira-Supporting students who practically worship the ground I walk on because I knew Kira.I told him that they are rather mindless and keep addressing me as 'Princess',that I just wasn't sure...how they knew that what they stood for was right.I've been having this somewhat identity crises for awhile now.Because everyone is so sure that they know who they are and what they believe in.He should have looked scandalized that I would ask such a thing because he would have said I should worship Kira.
But he didn't.He had been a little excited when I fallen asleep and met him a the Farris wheel but I thought nothing of it.He smiled at me and said something that he never said all these years.'Kira is justice because he always prevails.He lives on even if he dosen't do anything physically to your world...but I know I can feel him,Moto-chan.I can feel him,I can feel his power growing,I can see the progress'.I was confused at first so I asked him what he meant.
Then it happened.I watched as the faceless people shutter and noticeable facial expression began to appear.They were faces of Kira Supporters that died at the hands of Kira',Motoko,Kira,he lives!He's alive!',he threw his head back grandly and he laughed.Just like a mad man,I shivered.It took a few moments for it to sink in as everyone was cheering.
I asked him what did that mean and he seemed annoyed that I just couldn't understand.He told me once more and something red began to show through his suit and he was pain stricken and tried to stop the bleeding and then it gushed out covering me in ruby liquid.I watched as he died and thousands of others fall over like dominoes.So much blood...in my dream I was so sick I vomited and thats when I woke up.
Why?Why was it so different from the other dreams?It was a nightmare...I can still taste his blood on my lips.I could feel my stomach churn and beg for relief of the pain,I got up and hurried out my room to the small bathroom next door.I couldn't throw up as much as i needed too,because I hadn't eaten more then a bag of Potato chips before I went to bed.It hurt and I couldn't stop,I practically shoved my hand down my throat.After a few minutes I stared at my reflection in the swirling chunks,I felt like vomiting again...anything to relieve the pain...I grabbed the aspirin off the sink and swallowed five.Anything for a a dreamless sleep.I had the habit of taking medication when I didn't need it...and father will check to see if I took more then two...I sighed and opened the cabinet and grabbed his prescription pills that looked the similar to the pills I just took.
He was rather stupid at times.I'd never touch his blood-pressure pills so he wouldn't check.he should though.Especially if he has Japan's 1# student for a daughter.1#...It scares scares many and excite some.Kira was 1# too,I can see they make obvious observations in their minds when they realize that I'm Japan's top.
I can be perfect too...I act a lot.Yagami and I are so a like,yet in some way different.We both excel in academics,we sometimes are obnoxious,are both considered good-looking,and have lots of friends too.Of course none of our friends aren't truly our friends...no...all of my 'friends' are mindless KSS(Kira student supporters).At least...I allow them to make fools out of them selfs and call me 'princess'.Raito he acted like the perfect prep.I'm perfect too,but still imperfect.I'm as cool as ice and have no social life at all.
The only reason why I'm not an exact replica of Yagami Raito is because he didn't have to go through half the shit I do everyday.I've been to reformatory camps for months,and I hadn't done shit to be there.It's because I knew Kira,it's because the brother I looked up to was a dangerous man who would probably kill for Kira.I've been interrogated more then a thousand times by my administrative and the police for what my 'friends' do,because to them I'm like the ring man.My house had been bugged too many times to count and I once been under house arrest for just looking at an officer the wrong way.I'm also forced to waste my weekdays talking to this shrink,and god I hate his guts so much!
I think I have the right to take an overdose of aspirin.I flushed the toilet and quietly sneaked back to my bedroom,"Motoko.Are you alright?",it was my father from the next room."Yes,please go back to sleep.",I could hear him shift around his room,"Are you sure?I heard you in the bathroom."
What an annoyance."Go back to bed,old man.I'm fine.",he was quiet so I assuming that he would take my word,probably check on me when he thinks I'm asleep.It's 3 A.M,only three more hours before I get up and prepare for school...Is it possible to just once stay home?I fell back on my comforter and buried my face in the pillow,if I stay home it will be a hassle.My 'friends' will wonder where I am and come to a conclusion that I am planning something big for all the AKS and because they have such a big mouth,the administrative will worry and call the police and the police a bigger stronger organization that will probably search all over Tokyo for me and break into my house and find me up stairs eating rice porridge and studying one of my text books.
I could imagine my expression.It would be rather comical...though I don't think they'd find it so funny.They'd probably torture me.I wrapped the covers around me and went to turn the lights out when I notice my picture was gone.I frowned knowing for a fact that I didn't move it...I peered over the side of my bed near the night stand and noted that it wasn't there either.
"Father...?",there was a soft groan form the other room."Yes,Motoko?Are you alright?",my eyes fixated where the frame had sat."Did you come into my room and move my things?",the answer had to be no,because I didn't hear him exit his bedroom.
"Why,are you missing something?",I swallowed,"Maybe I left it somewhere...",he didn't say anything else and I didn't dare turn my lights off.I didn't want to fall asleep either,but after a while the medicine was starting to kick in and my lids grew heavy.Maybe I did move it...it's the only possible reason.And a strange thought came to mind and I laughed drowsily.
"No..there is no such things as ghosts..it's all in my mind"
I allowed my eye lids to close and I drift back to sleep.
"Sweet,sweet nothingness...",I sighed delightedly.
It wasn't as sweet as I first imagined.Especially when I had a feeling in the far corner of my mind that I was being watched...
AN: Hmm,I wonder just who could her brother be?If you don't know that much you probably don't want to read this.I thinking there are going to be good amount of spoliers placed through out the story.Motoko is being watched.Maybe it's Kira?Or maybe it's just nothing...then what about her picture?Read on fanfiction,lovers read on!
I think I done rather well don't you?Please tell me what you think.
xBravaCharlotte