(A/N: Um... This is my first time writing on and... I hope I'll do well, since I am a very young and inexperienced writer. This is a one-shot about Gajeel and there will probably a lot of Laxeel, too. Also, I don't own the text in bold. I found it on Instagram, a post from Tumblr. Underlined and bold is my continuing of it. Italics is Gajeel's thoughts. Enjoy!)
I like drinking tea alone, and reading alone.
Gajeel sat in his bed, a mug of lemon tea on top of a bedside table on his left. He held a book in his hand and slowly read the text. He wasn't exactly the best reader, so he made mistakes every once in a while.
When he had a book that interested him, he read it at once, unless he was in the guild. He had seen this particular book in Levy's hands and asked if he could borrow it. The bluenette, of course, agreed. She had never seen him read, but was glad about the gained knowledge that he, indeed, was capable of reading.
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone.
When Gajeel finished the last chapter, he noticed that he had been reading the whole night. It was already morning, and he decided to go give the book back to his best friend, regardless of his lack of sleep. He took a quick shower and all that, changed his clothes and set off.
He reached a nearby bus station at the time a bus stopped there. It was one that would go to a street near his guild. Not thinking about his newly found motion sickness, he stepped on and bought a ticket. As soon as the vehicle started moving, he felt nauseous. It wasn't as bad as when he was on a train, but he still hated it.
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.
He cursed his motion sickness, but knew Natsu had it worse, and shouldn't complain. He hated himself for being so pathetic. He thought of himself as the weakest dragon slayer. Even Wendy was well ahead of him. That's what he gets for doing such horrible things, while in Phantom Lord, he guessed.
He had been alone all that time. Juvia had noticed, but never said anything. Truth is, he never realized it, himself. He had always been focused on being strong and doing, what he thought he wanted, when he actually just wanted someone to love him, to sit with him and talk about whatever popped into their mind. He'd listen to everything, and help them, when they ever needed.
The bus reached his stop and he exited it. He walked around a few corners, finally reaching the tall building. The wooden walls didn't keep out the rowdiness of the members, letting him hear just about this party was about.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
He walked to the bar inside the guild, ordering a small meal from Mira. He waited, and waited. The time seemed to be stretching into infinity, when suddenly some music started playing. It was the mysterious singer, who, every three months, sent the guild a tape of himself, singing his original songs. No one thought much of it, except for Gajeel. The voice was driving him crazy; he was sure he'd heard it somewhere before. The singer was one of the best Gajeel had heard, and he had asked Mira to borrow him the recordings every time the guild received them, so he could get them on his MPL(Music Player Lacrima). He would give it back, of course, so the others could listen to the songs more.
Today's song, though. It was different. Come to think of it, the singer hadn't released any songs when Team Tenrou had been missing. Whether or not the songs were dedicated to one of them or even was one of them, Gajeel didn't know.
His food arrived and he ate quietly. The song was over. Gajeel pulled out his MPL and headphones, playing the other songs by the odd guest of a kind, he slightly swayed himself to the beat of the music. It was a habit of his, whenever he heard slow, sweet music, he'd do this. No one questioned, knowing how people lost themselves in music all the time. He just couldn't hear the others like this. He was invisible. He was alone. A nice kind of alone.
But when I see a mother with her child;
Gajeel's attention stayed on Asuka and Bisca. The little girl was happily braiding her mother's hair, albeit a little sloppily. She cheered the next singer on, which, surprisingly, was Natsu. He was good, but not as good as the recorded man. Again, thinking of the singer. What should he call him? A random name... Konishi. It had nothing to do with the singer, probably, but he liked that name.
Again, Gajeel glanced at Asuka. She was finished with Bisca's hair, now trying to have a conversation with Laxus. The man, though, was not good with words and often messed up phrases. He put together weird words, as if he took it from another language, only translated. Every time, he smacked himself, and tried again.
A girl with her lover;
Now, he noticed Alzack walking over. Bisca kissed his cheeck as a 'welcome back from the job'. They chatted, checking on their daughter from time to time. It made Gajeel think: When will I be able to be like that with someone?
He shook his head slightly. This was not the time to think about this. He was supposed to- THE BOOK. With all the time and motion sickness, Gajeel had forgotten to give Levy the book back. He finished his food, paid the money for it, and stood, picking up his bag.
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
As soon as Gajeel looked at Levy, he noted that Lucy was with her. Lucy said something that made them both laugh, and Gajeel politely waited for them to calm down and end their chat, when he finally got his turn. He opened his backpack and pulled the thick book out and put it onto the table in front of Levy.
The bluenette was surprised, asking if he'd already finished it, and he nodded an answer. Lucy was even more surprised than Levy, not even aware that Gajeel, in fact, read books. This one was a yaoi novel, too. It was quite awkward for him, considering nobody knew he liked this kind of stuff. He was bi, but hadn't let anyone, except Levy, know.
He waved goodbye, and the bookworms giggled about something again. He forced back a frown.
I realize that, even though I like being alone,
He couldn't help, but sigh. Making his way back to his house, this time on foot, he had even more time to think. Being alone is good at times, yet, as he sees all the friends, lovers and relatives, he envies them. Not even once had he wanted to be with people before Fairy Tail. In Phantom, he was always better than the others. He didn't want anybody with him, so he wouldn't look like he wanted help or support. He had only one thought in his head: Strong. He wanted to be strong. He was strong. But he wasn't friendly. He didn't care, at the time, but now it's his worst nightmare. He used to love being alone.
I don't fancy being lonely.
Gajeel closed the door. He kicked off his shoes, leaning against to wall, not to fall down. He remained unmoved. HE tried so hard to hold the tears back. He was still alone, just like in Phantom Lord. This time, he was worse than the others. He needed help. He needed support. And yet, he was alone.
And still, years later, I am surrounded by people
Gajeel stared in front of himself. He smiled. As the enemies began closing in, he used his roar, turning around to get the all. He looked around, and, seeing his partners, grinned widely. Panther Lily, Raijinshu with Laxus and himself are a team of strong wizards, afraid of rejection and isolation. Together, they can take down their enemies, help each other with their fears and offer their love to their family. Though everyone is dear to Gajeel, he can't help but have a favorite. The mysterious singer, Konishi, turned out to be Laxus. The time Laxus admitted this, Gajeel had realized: I am in love with him.
Now, sitting alone with him, I no longer feel rejected
Gajeel and Laxus sat on the couch, half-asleep. The night they had planned for themselves had, instead, turned into a night of reading. It was morning already, and Gajeel was in no mood to sleep, since the plot was just getting interesting. Still, hearing Laxus breath so smoothly, and the clock tick in that certain rhythm lulled him to sleep. He was happy. He had his friends, his family, his singer/mate and he had his books. What else could he ask for?