Hey guys, new story. It's my first fanfic for attack on titan and it's bit of a risk but I decided to go for it.
"What happened to you?"
Levi has never felt inclined to ask this of anyone. He's never expended the energy to care. It's usually not worth the burden. He couldn't even tell himself why he's asking this now, but he can't stay silent. The small child does not answer. She lowers her head and turns away from him.
He gently takes her arm to stop her. "Look, I didn't mean-"
She pulls away from him, reacting to his touch like it's the sting of a bee.
"I'm sorry." His voice is quiet. "I don't mean to upset you." When was the last time he ever apologized to anyone for anything? He's sure he can't remember.
She deserves an apology. From him. From everyone.
Ina just shakes her head and turns away again, walking toward her corner.
"Will you be alright?" He calls to her.
Ina gives no response.
She's still too embarrassed to even look at him. No. She will not be alright, but she won't ask him for help either. Not after what just happened. Ina curls up in the corner, her back facing him and the light, and closes her eyes. Her heart is racing. She still feels tears that have yet to fall. No way is she going to sleep tonight. She'll lay here, quietly, until he leaves.
He doesn't leave, but he doesn't say anything either. Doesn't even move. He just sits there. She can feel his eyes on her.
Levi is intrigued in the strangest way. He doesn't want to leave things like this. She must think he hates her, but really he was more surprised than anything. How was he expected to react when an 8 year old got far too close for comfort, and then whispered the most spine chilling words he'd ever heard?
He didn't mean to push her, but how else was he supposed to react to that?
He takes the blanket from the bed in which she still refuses to sleep and walks over to her. Ina's breath hitches when she feels him come near. He can see the barely existent muscle in her shoulders tense as she curls more into herself.
"Just in case you get cold." He gently lays the blanket on her. Ina doesn't respond, but tries to hold back a shriek when she feels something touch her.
"Sorry." He says again. "I really don't mean to frighten you." He admits.
He does frighten her. His cold demeanor. His icy glare. The sheer ferocity in his gaze. He frightens her more than anyone else in this strange place. Yet… He seems to be interested in her. Or at least that's what it looks like. Typical, Ina thinks, the really cruel ones always have an eye for her. He's similar to those other men… And nothing like them all at once. It's confusing. That intense glare has rested on her more often than would be considered normal. But she can't read him like she could the others. It's not clear what he might want. That is what frightens her.
It's easier to give them what they want, rather than have them take it from her by force. It hurts much less when she feels like she has some control. She thought he might have wanted her the way many others have. She assumed maybe he liked his women young, like a lot of the soldiers seem to.
He didn't.
The first time he touched her was to violently push her away. So maybe he doesn't want her body. Or maybe he does… just on his own terms. Ina doesn't know. She really doesn't want to find out. But she has to! What does he want?! Why won't he just out and say it instead of staring at her all the time?
He takes a deep breath and finally stands. She'd almost forgotten he was there. "Hange will be here in the morning." She hears his footsteps getting further and further away until her door creaks open and shut.
Ina has to figure out what he wants from her. It'll drive her mad otherwise. She pulls the blanket around herself in an attempt to stop the chills from running through her body.
"So?!" Hange finds Levi and catches up to him in the hall. "What'd she want?"
"Absolutely nothing." Levi responds, really not looking to talk about this strange and awkward encounter.
"Huh? She was so adamant about speaking with you." Hange is confused.
"Well she didn't want anything." Levi bites back. "I'm going to bed." He reaches his room and slams the door behind him.
He splashes cold water on his face over and over to try to get the shock out of his system but nothing is working. He even notices this slightly dazed expression on his face. That kid really did a number on him.
I can make you feel good.
Her low whisper in his ear is still making his stomach churn. He hasn't been around many young kids since joining the corps, but he knows that that isn't something any child should say. Ever.
After feeling her tiny hands on his belt and realizing that she knew exactly what she was doing, Levi immediately reacted. He definitely shouldn't have pushed her. Hange said Ina had probably been abused most of her life and even he suspected major foul play. If they wanted to convince her she was safe, they had to prove it to her. They were doing fine until he shoved her and yelled at her. Her eyes held fear but more than anything they held both confusion and embarrassment.
She looked as lost as he felt in that moment.
Levi decides on a cold shower. He feels incredibly filthy due to what just happened. After scrubbing himself clean he dresses in night clothes and lies down.
Sleep does not come to either of them that night.
"Gooooood morning!" Hange's loud and enthusiastic voice wakes Ina early the next morning. She was only just able to get to sleep.
"Come on miss missy, time to start the day! I finally found you some clothes!" Ina wonders what it is that always has this woman so excited. They live in a world with monsters. A world where monsters look like humans and wear that awful green horse on their jackets. What is there to be this chipper about? Especially so early in the morning?
Ina finds that she hasn't moved from her corner and is still wrapped securely in the blanket the Captain gave her yesterday. Oh, right. The Captain. For a moment, she forgot about what happened last night.
"Ina, come on. Let's go." Hange approaches her. By now they know not to touch her, but Ina allows Hange to get closer than most. Ina slowly rises, letting the blanket slip off her body. She shivers. "Come on, darling. I found a few things for you to try on. Let's see if they fit."
Hange found an old trunk filled with children's clothes at one of the houses they checked. After rescuing Ina, she decided that the trunk might have some use. She was right. She hands Ina a blue dress that, in theory, should come to her shins, some underwear and a pair of socks. Ina takes the clothes, but then looks up at Hange expectantly.
"Alright alright just one more thing and I'll go." Hange knows Ina likes her privacy. The girl probably doesn't want anyone seeing the scars and bruises on her body. She's still unaware that Hange examined her shortly after being rescued. Hange would like to keep it that way, so the girl still feels like she has her own space. When she was alone, Hange wept for the girl. This line of work has never made her cry before. This little girl has seen more in her short time alive than many of them have seen even after years in the Survey Corps.
Hange sets a bucket of warm water and a towel in front of Ina and then prepares to take her leave. "Do you remember where the mess hall is? Want to meet me there?"
Ina nods her agreement. Hange smiles kindly at her. "Great! Take your time." Hange says before leaving. "See you soon!"
She waits until the door shuts after Hange before leaving the comfort of her corner. The first thing she does is lock the door, and then triple check it to make sure it doesn't open. Ina takes her time getting ready. She really appreciates that they let her wash. She's never felt so clean in her life. It's a wonderful feeling. Years of filth are scrubbed away with each bath she takes. One day she'll feel the way normal people do. Like there isn't something crawling around inside her. Right now, she feels about halfway there. In between clean and completely disgusting.
The dress fits well enough. It's definitely a welcome change from the rags she's been wearing up until now. She's grateful for the all the help, but knows it won't last. These people are soldiers. She doesn't trust anyone who wears a uniform. When she heals, she's running away. Everything was fine when she was alone. It's always when someone tries to convince her that she is safe that she ends up hurt. Ina wants to leave all of that behind. She's going to wait until her pains go away and then leave. She's not going to wait for one of these monsters to hurt her like the others did.
Ina tries to stay quiet as she closes her door behind her. She stands there for a moment trying to remember which way the mess hall is from here. She stays close to the wall and starts making her way. She's not that hungry, but would love a cup of tea. Ina isn't sure who made it. She just remembers Hange giving her some after she regained consciousness. It sure was delicious. The tea had a way of warming her entire body and calming her mind. She'd like to feel that again. Completely lost in thought, Ina doesn't realize she's on a collision course until it's too late. She walks right into someone and falls back on her bum. The soldier she bumped into lets out a familiar grunt. It's the captain.
"Ina?"
She doesn't even look up at him as she scrambles to her feet and runs past him. "Wait!" He calls out.
By then she's already long gone.
Perfect. The day has just begun and already Levi has managed to scare the girl. This wouldn't bother him so much if the events of last night never happened. But they did, and he wants to know why. He's never been the curious type. It's almost annoying that he can't seem to let this go. What is it about this girl that keeps drawing his attention?
She's a fast little thing. Already turning the corner of the long hallway before he can start walking. It's probably best if he doesn't go after her. If she's frightened, he'd probably only make things worse. It's too early for him to have a headache. He needs a strong cup of tea, and probably an aspirin.
Ina is barely looking where she's going. She just needs to get away. Wait... This isn't the way to the dining hall. Oh no. She's lost again. She makes contact with another soldier at top speed and again lands flat on her bum for the second time this morning. Instead of jumping to her feet she stays on the ground, unable to catch her breath and collect herself. Her back really hurts. All this running and falling is irritating her injuries.
"Mikasa! Look out!" Ina doesn't recognize this boy's voice.
"Oh." A woman. She sounds very uninterested. "Sorry, kid." Her tone remains flat.
"Hey, are you alright?" A third soldier. Another boy. God how many of them are there?
Ina stays where she is curled up on the ground. Maybe they'll just walk away if she doesn't move.
"Sorry about that." The third soldier kneels by Ina's head. "Are you okay?"
When she feels him come closer she brings her arm up to protect her head. The small movement makes her back flare with pain. She can't help the whimper that escapes her lips.
"It's alright. No one's going to hurt you. Wait! Eren don't touch her!"
"Okay! Okay! I was just going to get her up off the ground." The one that must be Eren steps back.
"Hi, I'm Armin. That idiot over there is Eren, and this is Mikasa. She didn't mean to knock you down. Can you tell us your name?" This soldier speaks with a soft and gentle voice. Ina peeks to get a look at him. He has very kind blue eyes, with shoulder length blonde hair. He's sitting on the ground next to her, but he hasn't touched her. She appreciates that he won't let the others touch her either.
"She must be the girl Hange's squad rescued last week." Eren recalls. "I forgot what they said her name was, but she-" Eren is shushed by Armin. It's best not to talk about her as though she isn't here.
"Are you lost? Do you need help finding someone?" Armin's voice remains soft. "We can help. Is that alright with you?"
Ina nods and moves her arm just enough so she can make eye contact with the soldier speaking to her.
"Hi there." Armin smiles at her.
"Hi." Her voice is just above a whisper. "Sorry."
"No, no, don't be sorry. We just didn't look where we were going." Armin explains. "Mikasa never looks down." He whispers. Ina can hear the girl scoff in annoyance.
"Wanna try sitting up? Do you need help?" He offers.
Ina slowly moves her arm completely and then moves to sit up. Due to her body not being completely healed, Ina can't help but cry in pain as she moves. Armin immediately tries to assist her. Though she flinches, Ina does not refuse his help. "Sorry." She mumbles.
"Don't be sorry. It's not a problem. So where were you headed-"
"Ina!" Eren exclaims. She jumps when she hears her name.
"Eren what on earth?" Armin looks up at his friend who has clearly frightened the small girl.
"That's your name isn't it? Ina?"
"Uhhh…" She nods and starts to back away from the three teens.
"Ina. That's a nice name." Armin smiles at her.
"A strong name." Mikasa agrees, her tone still completely devoid of emotion.
"Ina, do you want to come with us? We can help you find who you're looking for." Armin offers.
She's inclined to say no, but this boy is so nice. He couldn't possibly try anything. If he does, she'll run. It's what she always does.
Ina nods. "Hange." she says quietly.
"We can take you to see Hange. She's eating breakfast with everyone else." Armin holds out his hand. Ina eyes it warily before taking it. His hand is soft, but worn with calluses. He doesn't grip her tightly like many have in the past. He only grips her hand enough to let her know he is there. The comfort she feels makes her hold on tighter. "Let's get going." Armin starts walking, Ina staying close by his side.
"Since when were you so great with kids?" Eren whispers as they make their way to the mess hall.
"Since I was a child just like her." Armin responds quietly. He knows what it's like to be lost, afraid, and confused. He knows what it's like to look at others and not know whether they mean to harm or help you. The look in her eyes is one he's stared at in the mirror for years. He doesn't know what Ina has been through, but in today's world there are so many tragic things that can make a child look at someone that way.
"This is good." Mikasa remarks. "She has someone who understands her. It'll really help her." Eren was that person for her. She completely understands Armin's immediate connection with the girl.
Ina walks just a step behind Armin, wishing so hard she had just stayed in her room this morning. What a day this has been and it's barely begun. She's already exhausted. Her body aches and yearns to rest. She'd really like that cup of tea. It'll ease her nerves and some of her aches. Her back throbs painfully with every step she takes. She feels as though her legs will give out any second.
"You guys go ahead." She hears Armin say to his friends. They both seem to take the hint and walk ahead, meanwhile Armin slows himself and Ina until they stop. He kneels in front of her. She keeps her head down. She must have done something wrong. Maybe he wanted to be alone so he could deal out a fitting punishment.
"What's the matter?" He asks, his voice soft and kind. "Are you feeling alright?"
Ina shakes her head.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
She finally looks up at him. There is no lie in those blue eyes. He looks at her with genuine concern. It's a look she's learned to value for its rarity.
"I still hurt." Ina admits in a whisper. Tears beginning to stream from her brown eyes. "My back is sore."
"I'm sorry you're in pain." Armin gently takes her hand. He remembers hearing about the rescue. She was trapped beneath the rubble of a fallen building for what could have been hours or days. It's amazing her injuries aren't worse.
"How can I help?" Armin can feel her trembling.
"I can't walk much more." Ina doesn't know how to ask for help. She was always discouraged from burdening others. "I… I think I should go back." Ina turns back the way she came, but doesn't make it far before she has to stop and lean on the wall. Her back hurts with every single step. Every breath.
"I think it's best if you stayed around people right now." Armin suggests. "Just until we know you'll be alright."
Ina shakes her head. She doesn't want to be around people. What if they're mean like all the others? "I want to go back…"
"How about we go see Hange first, so she can help stop the pain? And then you go back?"
Ina thinks it over. She really would like for Hange to help her. But Ina really has no clue how to ask.
"Would you be okay if I carried you?"
Ina folds her arms and looks down again.
"Hey, it's alright to ask for help. That's why we brought you here." He reminds Ina as he places a finger under her chin to raise her head. "So how bout it?" He smiles again. Ina blushes deeply and looks away once more. "Okay." He just barely hears her.
"Alright, climb aboard!" He turns his back to her. Ina cautiously wraps her small arms around his neck. Armin stands slowly and then latches his hands behind his back just under her bum. "Next stop, mess hall!" He adjusts her slightly and then starts walking.
"Thank you." Ina whispers. While her back still pains, she feels better somehow. For once she isn't afraid. This boy, Armin, is the kindest person she's ever met. She almost doesn't want to let go of him out of fear that the good feelings might go away once he does.
"Here we are." Armin enters a large room bustling with activity. There's lots of soldiers in here. Ina buries her head in Armin's shoulder and hugs his neck tighter. Her anxiety emanates from her like the heat from Eren's Titan body.
"It's alright Ina. These are all friends. They're here to protect you."
She appreciates his kindness but is smart enough to know that is a lie. These people aren't here to protect her. They want to use her for whatever it is they desire. A slave. A pet. Something to hit.
The only difference Ina can see is the symbol on their uniforms. These soldiers wear wings while the others wore what looked like a horse but there was something strange coming out of its head. Ina doesn't know and doesn't care.
A soldier is a soldier. They don't protect anyone except themselves.
She can't breathe.
"Ina?" Armin checks on her. He can hear the small girl starting to hyperventilate. "Hey, what's the matter?" Armin walks to the side of the room, out of earshot of most of the soldiers, none of whom have noticed his arrival. He kneels to set Ina down but is then confused when she takes off running. She sprints to the nearest corner and sits with her back to the wall. She holds herself close and begins rocking back and forth.
Armin rushes after her.
Her whole back is flaring with pain right now but all she can feel is her racing heart. It's beating so fast she doesn't know what to do. Oh no! She's dying. What should she do?!
"Ina? Hey, look at me." Armin is sitting in front of her, blocking everyone's view. She doesn't need to be seen like this. "Look at me." He gently takes her face. Her eyes dart from side to side. She can't focus on anything. Armin places his hand over her eyes. "Close your eyes, Ina." He whispers. "No one else is here right now. It's just you and me."
She finds herself listening to what Armin is saying.
"You're in a safe place. Somewhere no one can hurt you. Bad things can't happen in this place. Only good things." His own eyes are closed as he talks. He'll take her to his safe place and hope for the best.
"It's warm where we are. It's warm and sunny. The air smells like… Like salt water. We're sitting on the ground which is soft, soft like feathers but loose. Loose enough to run our fingers through. It's called sand. It's warmed by the sun and really fun to play with. In front of us is this huge gigantic body of water. So huge that it's too big to be called a lake. It's a greenish blue that shines like jewels under the sun. It goes for miles and miles, so far that you can't even see the other side. The water moves toward the shore in slow ripples. Like little waterfalls. They call it, the ocean."
Ina doesn't remember when she stopped crying. Neither does Armin. He just started talking and went with it in hopes that it would work. Looks like it did.
"Do you feel better, Ina?" He's still whispering in that calm voice. His hand still covering her nods.
"Is it alright to move my hand?"
Another nod.
She doesn't open her eyes right away, but soon enough, she's blinking Armin's concerned blue eyes into focus. "Are you okay now?"
"Thank you." She must find a way to repay him. In just the few minutes that he's known her, he's already done so much. He helped her off the ground, he brought her to the mess hall, he carried her, and he calmed her fears. He deserves something for going so far out of his way just for her. "Thank you." Ina knows this isn't enough.
"Don't thank me." Armin says as he helps her off the ground. "No need for that."
Ina hopes she isn't bothering him.
"Is everything alright?" Hange has appeared behind armin and Ina fights the habit to run and hide all over again. "Ina, hon, are you okay?"
Ina just nods and keeps her head down.
"Um, actually squad leader, I was wondering if maybe you could take a look at her. She's in a lot of pain right now." Armin responds when Ina remains silent.
"Of course. Ina do you want to come with me to the infirmary?" Hange kneels in front of Ina. The little girl shakes her head. She wants to stay with Armin.
"Do you want to have breakfast with us?" Armin suggests. Ina nods. In all of this chaos, she did grow hungry. Food doesn't sound like a bad idea anymore.
"That's alright. Can Armin bring you to the infirmary after you've had something to eat?" Hange's tone is sweet and gentle. Ina nods.
"Okay then, I'll see you in a bit." She smiles down at Ina before walking away.
Levi casts a questioning glance at Hange when she returns to the table. "It was nothing, just first day of school jitters." Hange takes her seat.
"First day of school?" Levi swears he doesn't understand how Hange passes herself off as intelligent sometimes.
"Well not literally, captain obvious. I just meant Ina was nervous about coming in here, but when I volunteered to take her back she refused to leave Armin's side. That cutie pie is going to get to all of us in no time."
"You know she can't stay here." Levi points out. "She's an unnecessary distraction for one, and every second she's here puts her own life at risk."
"Of course I know that. But it's not like she has anywhere to go until we find her a suitable home. She has no family or friends, so it'll likely be an orphanage."
Levi knows better than anyone that no child lasts for long at an orphanage. Hange must realize that too. He says nothing. Just pours himself another cup of tea.
