Disclaimers: I don't own the STVoy: mores the pity I just play with them now and then. Other characters mine and a friends.
Abuse!
Chakotay felt trapped and wasn't quite sure where to turn, as he paced around the luxury apartment that was really his cage.
'Why had he come here?' he asked himself silently; 'How had it come to this?' was the thought that rang around inside his head. 'Who should he ask, who will listen?' his dark eyes sad, lonely and fearful.
"How had she come to have this hold on him?" he asked of the silent empty room. His pacing had brought him to stand in front of the com-unit. 'Could he risk it?' Quietly he sat down and dialled a number and anxiously waited for the connection to open, whilst keeping a fearful ear out for the owner of the apartment to return. Soon a woman's face looked out at him, her smile faded at his anxious expression.
"I'll get to you as soon as I can, Chakotay," she told him and closed the link. He turned off the unit and returned to the kitchen area and started on the meal that had been requested, but he was nervous, so much so that he couldn't stop shaking. In his mind he couldn't stem the memories of the last few months since he'd come to this place. Memories that were too painful to fully recall, he was still limping from the last showing. One he hoped not to have repeated. 'WHY?' it was the one question that he couldn't answer because the cause wouldn't say. As he prepared the vegetables in the windowless kitchen he recalled that she would only use words that caused him pain, emotional pain, telling him that no one would help him or listen to him or say a word against her; they wouldn't dare – if they knew what was good for them – she'd cruelly sneered at him. He'd only asked why they couldn't go out for a meal and why he had to stay in the apartment, hidden from view. Anyone would have thought he'd asked to go to Ocampa and back, with the way she'd reacted. His body shivered at the memory.
Chakotay couldn't remember the last time he'd spoken with any of his friends from Voyager, since they'd arrived back on Earth. It felt like she was punishing him for some wrong; but what? That was what he didn't understand. He carefully put the few knives he had away in their draw and re-locked it, once he'd finished using them, with the woman's current mood and attitude towards him, he didn't trust her with any sharp objects. Having put the vegetables on to cook he set about laying up the table for two, not that he ate at this table, she just liked to see it set that way. Looking at the time piece on the main apartment wall he felt his anxiety hitch up a notch and he tried to stem the visible shaking of his body. Hearing the lock on the apartment door click open he tried to quash his panic and smiled pleasantly at the uniformed female figure.
What happened next was a blessed blank hole in his memory and in some ways he would be ever grateful for that; the next thing he clearly recalled was a woman's quiet anxious voice calling him by name, and that he was lying curled up on the kitchen floor, with his latest journal clutched tightly to his chest, his body numb, although it hurt to move, even to breath deeply. The Doctor was also there running a medical tricorder over him.
"We need to get him to a hospital," he said, his voice tinged with controlled anger.
"That will be the first place she'll look. No you'll have to patch him up as best you can and then he's leaving," the woman said decisively; this was the same woman he'd called on the com-unit. He couldn't or wouldn't call her by her name even mentally because of the pain it caused him, shuddering at the memory.
"It's alright, Chakotay," she soothed him. "I've brought some clothes for you. When the Doctor has finished patching you up, I suggest you take a quick shower and get dressed," she advised quietly. He nodded to her and allowed the male medic to use the dermal regenerator on the worse of his cuts and bruises. He limped carefully to the bathroom and took the only type of shower the computer would allow him – a sonic shower. The clothes that had been laid out for him were of an older period than the current fashion, but he wasn't complaining; it felt good to have cloth next to his skin again. He looked at his reflection in the bedroom mirror; he was shocked at the paleness of his skin and the bruising around his left eye. 'She always went for that side,' he thought, fingering the blue/black lines amidst the colourful bruises.
"Ready?" asked a quiet voice. He nodded silently; he was too emotionally choked to speak, reaching for his journals. She held out his boots and he put them on, they chafed the soft skin as he'd not worn them for quite awhile now. The woman put a heavy trench coat round his shoulders, which reached down to his ankles and then put a brimmed hat over the left side of his head, covering the tattoo. She picked up a handled canvas bag, took his hand and gently lead him out of the apartment and on out of the building, passing the security desk without a murmur from the man on duty.
She took him to the nearest transporter and had them transported to the main spaceport. Once there she gave him the canvas bag into which she'd put his journals, having gently taken them from his tight fist. She gave him a sad wistful look.
"I shall go back home from here," she sighed taking his face in both her hands. "Go wherever you wish, just contact me when you're safe. I don't want to know the where though," she cautioned him. "Now go, Chakotay and please don't worry," she said and then disappeared into the crowds, leaving him feeling even more alone than he'd been in the apartment.
He stood near a booking terminal so he called up the list of destinations and scrolled down it until he reached 'Trill'. Something about the name appealed to him, so he called up information about the next available scheduled flight out to the planet's main city – Mak'ala.
#Next scheduled flight to Trillus Prime is due to be called for boarding in two minutes time.# the PA system verbally informed him, thus he booked a one-way ticket and paid for it from his credit account; punching in the numbers rather than using the thumb print panel.
#Thank you for your custom# the PA system said and printed out his ticket which also told him the shuttle gate he was to make for.
Chakotay settled himself into a quiet corner aboard the civilian transport vessel that would take him to Trillus Prime. He felt tired physically and emotionally, gazing out of the vessels large view ports at the blackness of space and the blueness of Earth. Tears stung at the back of his eyes and choked his throat, yet he knew he wouldn't cry just yet, he was too emotionally wrung out and yet coiled tight like a spring.
"Hello!" said a small voice; startling him. The voice belonged to a young girl child of about six or seven years of age, with light hazel eyes and mousey brown shoulder length hair. Her pretty face gazed up at him innocently. She reminded him of Naomi Wildman with that wide eyed expression, causing him to smile. The child grinned in response.
"I knew you could," she announced decisively, sitting down next to him.
"Do what?" he asked, his voice more of a whispered croak than his usual soft timber.
"Smile," she said knowledgably. This had his dimples showing for the first time in a long while.
"Tilly. I've told you before not to talk to strangers," a harassed female voice said, coming over to the pair.
"He's no stranger," Tilly replied to the woman, who was so very obviously the girl's mother, for they could have been twins.
"Why is that?" he asked amused, having got his voice under control.
"You smiled," she said importantly. "Strangers don't smile." Chakotay grinned at her reasoning, yet her mother looked non-pulsed by this.
"You are one very forward young lady, Tilly." The girl sat up straighter beside him, her mother shook her head, wondering what to do with this little lady. "You are welcome," the man said indicating the seat beside him. He removed his bag off the seat and put it down between his feet and added the hat there too.
"Oh, pretty," said Tilly on seeing the lines on his forehead.
"Thank you. I'm Tamasin and you've already met Tilly," the woman smiled, holding out her hand to him.
"Chakotay," he said, taking her slim hand into his own.
"We're going to join my Daddy," Tilly announced. Her mother tried to look anywhere but at this handsome male with the dimpled smile. Chakotay squeezed the woman Tamasin's hand gently understanding something of her dilemma about her young daughter.
"What did your mother say about strangers?" he asked teasingly.
"But you're not a stranger. You are Cha-k-oo-tay?" He laughed. Tilly looked affronted.
"Tilly you are a wonderful little girl," he smiled, his dark eyes shining with merriment. "I'll tell you what, why don't you call me 'Tay', it'll be easier for you to manage and as it was my childhood name; that means we can be children together. What do you say?" Tilly at first looked at him surprised, but as she thought about it, her expressive little face relaxed, then she giggled.
"You BIG child!" she said seriously.
"Hmm! True but space is an even BIG-GER place," his hands making a big globe shape.
"We could get lost if there wasn't someone to look out for us," her mother added, getting into the spirit of the conversation. She liked this big quiet man and knew that he would look after her and Tilly for the duration of their journey. When her husband had suggested that his wife and daughter make the journey on public transportation, rather than waiting for his ship to return to Space dock one; she was not happy, but now with 'Tay' she felt comfortable.
The three 'Tees' – Tilly, Tamasin and Tay – passed away the time on their long journey happily swapping stories and games, although Chakotay 'Tay' didn't reveal much about where he was heading or why he was on this journey, it didn't seem to matter. Mother and daughter were to disembark at an orbital station at the borders of Trill space.
By the time they reached that station, Tilly was curled up asleep on 'Tay's' lap. He gently woke her whilst her mother – Tamasin saw to it that their luggage was ready to disembark with them.
"Hey, sleepy-head, time to go," he teased quietly. The little girl stirred, but seemed reluctant to leave his warmth. He again gently shook her, so that she opened an eye and looked at him. His face relaxed into a warm smile and she returned it, before stretching and yawning.
"You be a good girl 'Lady Tilly'," he said, easing her off his lap to stand on the floor.
"I will, 'Uncle Tay'," she gave him an odd look. "Maybe strangers do smile, but not all smile so genuinely as you," she said. The profoundness of her statement left Chakotay reeling somewhat. Her mother returned at that moment saving him from having to say anything; Tamasin thanked him for his kindness, support and company, holding out her hand. Chakotay took it intending to just shake it in the usual manner, but he brought it to his lips and kissed it.
"Your husband is a lucky man; have a safe journey." Tamasin found herself blushing; she excused herself by taking Tilly's hand and then they left. Chakotay was sorry to see them go, but it was for the best, recalling what one of the crew had said to him earlier on the journey.
"Captain's glad you've been looking after the lady and her little one. He was not happy to see that the pair were unaccompanied; as this trip is mainly male worker types and rather rough to boot."
"I'm pleased to be of service," he'd responded politely and had returned to the pair. He had noticed the rough males, but they'd stayed well away from them and as they had disembarked first at the mining station, the three more or less had the ship to themselves. At the border station the ship picked up additional passengers for the trip into the Trill system; thus the ship filled with mainly Trills some in Starfleet uniform. So he put his hat back on his head to hide the tattoo, that little Tilly had found so fascinating. He tried to sleep but his fatigue wouldn't let him, thus he comforted himself with his memories of the stories he'd told to Tilly about Voyager's adventures in the Delta Quadrant, making out as if they'd happened to someone else. If Tamasin knew the truth, she never said.
When the transport touched down on Trillus Prime it was late afternoon local time, yet because of the heavy rains and the dark clouds it looked a lot later. One of his fellow passengers had groaned when they realised they'd hit the start of the Deka-mons; when it rained for ten days straight – if they were lucky. Chakotay though didn't mind, he welcomed the cold watery down pour at first, allowing it run down his face cleansing him. Later a cold wind blew round the buildings in the main city as the night drew in, chilling anybody who was out and about the city streets. By now Chakotay had no idea where he was or where he was trying to get to, as he looked round him in the rain filled deserted streets. Seeing an open coffee shop, he headed towards it hoping that they could help him find lodging. He slipped on the wet sidewalk, jarring his foot and leg in the process.
The pain in his hips – which had been a dull nagging ache – flared angrily through that region of his torso. He stopped gasping at the sudden pain, almost bending over double.
"Hey; you alright?" called a male voice from outside the now darken coffee house. The male came over and helped him to stay upright.
"Alyxx, I'm looking for Alyxx," he panted round his pain. "You know her?"
"I think so. Here give me your arm," taking Chakotay's right arm and placing it over his shoulders and aided their course down the street. "I believe she's residing hereabouts," the male muttered, taking most of Chakotay's weight as he limped beside him. They soon discovered the apartment building where the woman lived on the ground floor, thus her front entryway was facing the street, rather than having to enter the main building.
"You manage?" his rescuer asked, propping him up in the doorway. "I need to get on my way home." Chakotay nodded and the man left; so when the door opened only a now very wet human male stood outside.
"CHAKOTAY!" she said, surprised to see him. "Come on in," she encouraged, taking his bag, whilst he grabbed the door frame and hauled himself inside. "Let's get you out of all this wet gear," she continued to talk, her soft voice a gentle soothing balm to his ears, as she helped him out of the heavy trench coat, which was now even heavier with its soaking from the rain. "You would have to choose the start of Deka-mons for a visit," she teased him, urging him to take a warm shower. "I've set the program for 15 minutes, that should be long enough to help warm you up," pointing out the door that led to the bathroom. "Just leave your wet clothes on the floor, I'll sort them out later," she said disappearing up the main hallway to the living room. She called to someone named Suaig to heat up something. He lost the words and sight of her; carefully he entered the bathroom, stripped and walked into the shower, which quickly dowsed him with warm water bring warmth and life back to his numb limbs.
Even when the water stopped he just stood there, the long held back tears pricking the back of his tired eyes. Her soft voice called him by name gently, if she'd seen his bruises, she said nothing, but wrapped a large warm soft towel around his torso and rubbed him dry. He pulled in a sharp breath when she reached his hips. For a moment she stopped, her voice still reassuring she explained what she was about to do.
"Hold onto the shower frame, Chakotay. I'm going to feel your pelvis bone," she told him placing her palms on the top of his rear cheeks. "Easy my friend," she soothed, gently pushing her hands up and round to the front of his hips. "It's alright," halting her movements when he gasped. She waited until he was ready and his breathing sounded less pain filled.
"Please," he whimpered, the tears spilling down his face. She called Suaig again, having moved her hands to his waist.
"Alyxx?" a deep voice hissed.
"We need to get him to the hospital, now," her voice decisive.
"NO!" he pleaded, his body trembling.
"Chakotay you have a possible fractured pelvis and it needs to be seen to now. We're not on Earth," she added the last statement gently, moving round him, so he could see her face. "No one here will hurt you," her smile brightens her Trill shaped face. "Now are you going to be a big boy, for me?" she teased softly. A smile tugged at his mouth and he nodded his head.
"I have called the hospital. They are waiting for us," said the deep voice hissing on his es's. Alyxx wrapped a drier towel around him and told him to let Suaig carry him, whilst she got a coat for the pair of them. A large scaly hand gently supported him and aided Alyxx in putting the weather proof coat over the towel on Chakotay. With ease the tall Gorn – the male Suaig – lifted the human male into his arms and they left the apartment.
The grey fog that had clouded his mind lifted allowing him to take stock of where he was. The room was semi-dark and the bed beneath him was soft and comfortable. Barely audible clicks and beeps played across his ears, the wires and tubes that had been in his dreams were no longer in evident. The door quietly opened and a Trill female in casual clothing entered, so he knew she was not one of the nursing staff that had also been apart of his dreams.
"How are you feeling?" she quietly asked, taking his right hand into hers, sitting down on the chair at his bedside. He sighed and closed his eyes and realised there was a bandage across his left one, which panicked him.
"It's alright, Chakotay. The bandage is to aid the healing process," she assured him, her smile in her tone of voice. He smiled at her and was about to ask a question, when the tall green Gorn entered.
"And how's my favourite patient, this bright sunny morning?" the male asked happily, still hissing on the es's. Alyxx laughed softly at his startled expression.
"That's right, my friend you have slept right through the Deka-mons," she laughingly informed him.
"Beastly stuff rain," hissed Suaig, checking the monitors.
"Ten days? I've been asleep ten days!" not quite believing it.
"Actually, you've been asleep for almost twelve," she informed him, giving his hand a soft reassuring squeeze.
"Sleep good for my patient," hissed the Gorn.
"Suaig Hoon is an exile from Gornia and a practising Doctor here at our main hospital."
"Oh," sounding a little uncertain.
"We'll have you back on your feet in no time," Suaig said cheerily.
"With you treating the patience's, it's wonder they don't run a mile." Alyxx laughed both at his abrasive tone and the Gorn's obvious offence; as the colour of his multi-facet eyes changed from the calm blues and greens to an angry pinkish hue.
"I have you know...."
"Suaig. And you Mister should know better," she admonished them. Both looked suitably chastened so she let it go. "If you behave yourself I'm sure the good Doctor might let you out for a weekend visit," she said, smiling encouragingly.
"Well I think I could manage that, if only to get away from him."
"I'll doubt you'll do that, young man," Hoon hissed. "Alyxx Darkka only has room space in my apartment," the big Gorn said. The PA system announced that Dr. Hoon was required to report to reception, so he left.
"Sorry, Chakotay. I should have warned you about that; I'm not on Trillus Prime often enough to warrant the expense of keeping an apartment. And before you ask, my father remarried."
"Oh and Darkka?"
"Darkka is my symbiont. We were joined in 2362; you were the Conn officer aboard the USS Gettysburg that transported me here at that time," she softly informed him.
"I'd forgotten that," he said feeling long forgotten tears threatening. He wanted to speak about something to her, yet she put a gentle finger against his lips; with that quiet gesture she told him to wait until he was ready.
"Find yourself, my friend and then we can deal with everything else," her quiet words and soft understanding expression had his tears spilling down his cheeks in an endless flow. Alyxx sat on the bed and held him against her as he cried out his pain and fear; she gently rubbed her hands across his back in a comforting manner whilst his tears soaked her shoulder.
Exhausted by his emotional outpouring, he'd been settled down in the bed to sleep; but the memories came flooding back to haunt him disturbing the sleep he so badly needed. His screams did not wake him, but they did alert the hospital staff to his plight. Dr. Hoon was recalled from home as the male thrashed about in the grip of his nightmares. With a gentle tenderness that surprised Chakotay the big Gorn eased him out of the bad dreams and held him as again he cried. He'd made the bed wet so they set up a catheter, once they'd got him and the bed changed. It was not a pleasant feeling having the catheter there, but he knew it was for his convenience.
"What is wrong with me?" he asked shakily.
"Chakotay now not time for you to know. It time for you to sleep," the Gorn hissed gently. Reading the stubborn look on the man's face, he added quietly; "When time right you will be told."
Chakotay knew from the Gorn's tone and the colour of his eyes he was speaking the truth and with that statement of fact he had to be content; thus he snuggled down into the warm dry bed clothes to try to get some sleep.
He was aware that he would not be alone in the room, as a medic sat near the door so as to be on hand if he needed medical attention. Chakotay had a feeling this was going to be a long night, drifting back into natural sleep.