Hello, fans and followers alike! Legs here, of "Ruled By Secrecy" notoriety. If you haven't read it, you should. :D
Anyway, this is a little one-shot idea that came to me when I was thinking about the infamous Epilogue, and how all of Harry and Ginny's kids were named after people important to Harry. And it really pissed me off, 'cause I loved Ginny in the early books - she was like a mini-Twin. And then she went and bloody fawned over Harry. She was dead to me.
But now... she is come alive again, in this story, which I believe to be the first of its pairing on this site! I really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you like reading it! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, there'd be a hell of a lot more Cormac McLaggen in it. What a sexy beast.
Warnings: Slightly cracky, OOC, Harry-bashing, doormat!Ginny, lovely!Cormac, sex-crazed!Ron/Hermione/Molly (WTF?), super-dandy!Charlie, "funny" uncle!Percy. Did I mention LOTS of Harry-bashing? Enjoy... ;D
Sometimes, Ginny Weasley lay awake at night in her cold, hard bed, wondering where it all went wrong. She and Harry were supposed to be some sort of "power couple", people said. He was the super-famous, super-sexy and super-bespectacled Boy-Who-Lived-cum-Auror, and she was... well, she was pretty and had a fruitful womb. Ron got over it quickly enough... sometimes Ginny wished that he still hated the idea of them being together, just so she'd have a reason to get out of the house and spend some time with her family now and then. Not that Harry and the kids weren't her family. It was just that when she was with Ron, or Hermione, or even bloody Percy, she had more fun than when she was at home, doing the dishes half-heartedly or paging absently through Witch Weekly.
As they walked away from Platform 9 and ¾ on that warm, September afternoon Ginny wiped a tear out of her eyes. She wasn't in her cold, hard bed, but the thoughts of despair and boredom came thick and fast.
"Aw, honey, what's the matter?" Harry asked, putting an arm around his wife's shoulder.
"Nothing," Ginny muttered, looking at her feet.
"The kids are growing up so fast, I know..." he said, dream-like.
It's not THAT, you idiot! Ginny thought angrily. Although she hated to blame the kids, lovely children that they were, it had really started when James was born. "I want to name him after my father and my Godfather," Harry had said, and Ginny, in her labour-induced haze, had agreed.
And then she had to bloody go and get pregnant again. And again. "I want to name her after my mother," he'd said. And again, she'd agreed.
"What do you think would be a good middle name?" he asked.
"Uhh..."
"Luna? How about Luna? I like Luna."
So Lily Luna it was. She hated it. She hated alliteration. It would've been like Ron calling his kids William and Wendy. Hugo and Rose had perfectly normal names! Sure, James and Lily were okay, even if Ginny found it just a little bit creepy and incestuous. But it was the middle child that really stuffed it up. The mistake.
Albus Severus was a bloody awful name. Ginny hadn't even wanted to have sex on the night he was conceived, if she remembered correctly. Did that, she wondered, constitute rape? Whatever the case, there he was, a stupid little boy with a stupid little name. Didn't Harry even think of the consequences to be had at Hogwarts with a name like that? The kid would be teased out of his mind! Ginny should know, she'd've been the one doing the teasing.
Ginny was snapped out of her meditation on her kids' stupid names by a noise from behind them. "Harry, my man! Long time no see," called a booming voice.
"McLaggen..." Harry muttered, rolling his eyes at Ginny. "Hello, Cormac. How've you been?"
"Spiffing, just spiffing!" Cormac McLaggen replied exuberantly. "Long time no see, old friend! What brings you to the station this fine day?" he asked.
"Oh, we were just dropping our three children off at the Express," he said smugly.
Cormac laughed. "What a coincidence! Because I was just dropping my little darlings off too! Sixth years already... I can hardly believe it!"
"You have children?" Ginny asked, interested.
"Oh, yes, my gorgeous twins, Josie and Mickey."
Harry snorted. "And what house might they be in?"
"Hufflepuffs, like their mother Ellen, bless her," he said, smiling sadly.
"And why isn't she here?" Harry asked, as though not seeing your children off at the station was some kind of crime.
"She's dead," he replied bluntly. "Complications from pneumonia when they were just six."
Moved, Ginny reached forward impulsively and put a hand on his arm. "Oh, Cormac, I'm so sorry!"
"That's enough," Harry snarled, pulling his wife away from Cormac. "We'd better be off, McLaggen. Nice seeing you again."
"Nice to see you two again," he echoed.
"And, uh," Ginny began, stumbling over her words slightly, "if you ever want to come 'round for a chat, or anything, don't hesitate to send me an owl."
Cormac smiled. "Well, thanks, Ginny!"
Before she had a chance to respond, Harry gripped her arm and practically dragged her away from him. "What was all that?" Harry snapped.
"What was all what?" Ginny snapped back angrily. Of course she knew full well what Harry meant, but she wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. She needed some interest in her life.
"Come 'round for a chat?" he said incredulously, eyes wide with possessive rage. "What does that mean?"
"Oh, get over it, Harry. He's not as much of a snob as he was back at Hogwarts! Can't you see he's just a sad, lonely guy who'll want someone to talk to while his kids are away at school!"
"Yeah, right," Harry said dismissively. "Leave it, Ginny. He's not worth your time."
Silently fuming, Ginny followed her husband as he stormed angrily out of the station.
---
A week after the kids had gone off to Hogwarts, Molly and Arthur organised a family get-together, much to Ginny's joy. The family were so spread apart now, it was a little bit crazy. Bill and Fleur lived a relatively quiet life (banking and modelling included) in the country with their kids and a shrieking shack to call their own. Charlie was still off in Romania cavorting with the strong Romanian men who helped tend his dragons, sent an owl once a month, and visited at Christmas time and other major occasions. Percy, true to his word, had left the Ministry and started up his own business... but no-one really knew what it was all about – he remained the outsider of the family. George was rolling in cash – Weasley's was bigger than Zonko's these days – and he and Angelina lived a happy, metropolitan life in central London. Ron and Hermione were so busy with their lives that they didn't have much time for anything else – apart from quite a bit of sex – and Ginny and Harry... were just Ginny and Harry, as far as Ginny was concerned.
She was so, so, bored. And so when the whole family were to arrive at the Burrow, Ginny was brimming over with joy at the prospect of seeing everyone again. It would be just like the old days – back before everyone got married and got jobs and got pregnant.
Percy, ever-punctual, was there several aeons before everyone else, and so when Harry and Ginny arrived soon after, there was a great air of awkwardness. Harry and Percy had never exactly been the best of friends, and Harry glared daggers across the room as Percy ranted on to Ginny and Arthur (Molly was in the kitchen) about the high price of new robes these days. He was actually quite a funny person (in a sort of bitter, sarcastic way) if you payed attention, but Ginny was too busy pondering her own personal issues to really listen too carefully.
She was glad of the distraction when Bill and Fleur arrived with Charlie in tow. Charlie was always the life of the party, and immediately cut Percy off with a story about how this dragon had attacked his "close friend" Kurt the other day and left him with a whopping scar on his arse, among other, less-important places. Only Charlie would know that kind of detail, Ginny thought to herself with a smile.
George and Angelina arrived next, bearing gifts of toys and lollies and god-knows-what-else for all the parents in the room to send to their kids at Hogwarts. George had lost his spark when Fred died – it was like half of him was missing, but he was still a lively and genial person, and his personality was amplified whenever Angelina was nearby. (Although, Ginny still thought that she only married him because it would be the closest she'd ever get to marrying Fred.)
Fifteen minutes later, the party began with the late arrival of Ron and Hermione, who claimed that they had been busy with some "Ministry work". Read: sex, Ginny thought to herself. Honestly, after several years of pent-up sexual frustration at Hogwarts, Ron and Hermione had really, really gotten into the whole "relationship" thing, and hadn't gotten out of bed (figuratively) since they were eighteen. It could be a bit embarrassing at times, really.
The feast that Molly had put together was sumptuous, bordering on the extravagant, as usual, and Ginny tucked into it with the joy of a woman who has had to cook for her husband for over ten years every bloody night. It was truly sublime.
Over the meal, George began to talk about a new product he'd come up with. "It looks just like a normal book, that's the beauty of it!" he said animatedly, his face lit up like it only could when he was acting like a complete and utter teenage boy. "But when you open it up... oh boy, do things get interesting!"
He pulled the book out of his shoulder bag, ripped the front page out and laid it on the table, and then left the room with the rest of the book. Everyone looked around in confusion, but Angelina signalled that this was what was supposed to happen.
"Can you all hear me?" came George's voice from the piece of paper. "Wait, never mind, that was a rhetorical question. I'm not supposed to be able to hear you. It's a sort of spying device... I designed it to listen into my kids to check that they aren't doing anything they shouldn't be while Ange and I are out."
"That's a bit creepy," Fleur whispered to Bill, even though George wouldn't have been able to hear her.
"Anyway, I'm thinking of putting them on the market. They're like Extendable Ears mark two, for long-distance listening."
"They're sure to make a mint!" Angelina added happily.
"They're creepy," Bill said, seconding his wife.
Angelina shrugged. "What people buy from Weasley's is their own business."
At that point, George re-entered the room. "So what do you all think? Any pre-orders?"
There was silence. Evidently, no-one was much too thrilled by the idea. Just to make George feel good, Ginny decided to make a bit of a joke. "I'll take one," she said with a laugh, "so I can see if Harry's having any affairs while I'm out!"
Everyone laughed. Except Harry. "That isn't even funny," he said harshly. "As if I would have an affair with anyone. Then again, I might need one, just in case you decide to go and have your stupid affair with Cormac McLaggen!"
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oh, come off it, Harry. I was just going to have him over for tea!"
"That's not what it sounded like to me," Harry exclaimed, his face flushed. "You were going to shag him! I saw it in your eyes!"
"I had an affair once," Percy said mildly, eager to avoid any conflict at the table. Harry and Ginny kept arguing, oblivious.
"Are you mad, Harry? I'd never have an affair with anyone! Especially not, seeing as you practically keep me under lock-and-key!"
"Oh, now who's going over the top?" Harry shouted. "Lock-and-key? Get a grip, woman!"
"As have I, Percy," Charlie said flippantly, "several, in fact! Aren't they just to die for?"
Percy shrugged. "I wouldn't go that far."
"Merlin, Harry, get over yourself!" Ginny yelled back at him. "You're so possessive; I can't believe you can't see it!"
"You're so selfish!" he yelled back.
"ME? SELFISH?" Ginny cried irately, "WHICH ONE OF US NAMED OUR CHILDREN WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING THE OTHER?"
"SHUT UP!" Harry retorted intelligently.
"YOU'VE GOT SUCH A BIG HEAD!" Ginny kept going, unable to control her emotions or the tears that were flowing down her face. The rest of the Weasley family sat around the table in shock, not knowing what to say.
"Probably swollen from all his affairs," Charlie whispered in an immature tone to Percy, who snickered.
"Then how come you're not more up yourself?" Percy retorted.
"'Cause I spend most of my time up other people," he replied, grinning.
"OH, THAT IS IT!" Harry yelled, slamming his fist down on the table. "I'M LEAVING."
"YOU DO THAT," Ginny called after him as he got up, grabbed his coat and apparated out of the house. "DICKHEAD!"
But he had disappeared.
Ginny dissolved into tears. Hermione and Fleur immediately came and put comforting arms around her, whispering to her that everything would be okay. The rest of the family just sat there, dumbfounded, apart from Percy and Charlie, who were trying their hardest not to burst into laughter, such is the power of a good, dirty joke.
"It's going to be alright," Hermione whispered, "Harry'll come 'round."
"I'm sure he will," Ginny replied through choked sobs, "but will I?"
---
Harry still wasn't talking to her. Ginny still made him dinner, still did the dishes (albeit with even less interest than before) and still slept in the same bed as him, but whenever she said anything to him, she'd be met with no reply.
The guilt hit her like a wave of needles, pricking every inch of her body and making her feel like somehow this was her fault. Of course, it wasn't. But she felt so guilty, so dirty, so disloyal. She wanted to just crawl under a rock and die.
But still, at the back of her mind, was a nagging thought: it's all Harry's fault!
He was the one who had treated her like a piece of clothing he didn't want to wear anymore, he was the one who had stepped all over her like a doormat. He had mistaken her attentions towards Cormac McLaggen.
Cormac. There he was, sitting in her mind. Ginny thought she ought to go and see him, just to piss Harry off! He would be lonely, after all, she reasoned. He would need someone to talk to. To ease the pain he must be feeling, if only just a little bit. There was just one main problem with this idea, however.
Ginny had no idea where he lived.
And so, one Saturday afternoon, Ginny set out, telling Harry that she was going to see Cormac McLaggen and have hot sex with him on his dining room table. No point in lying and saying she was going to buy some new dress-robes or anything, so she blew the truth completely out of proportion. Of course, Harry didn't reply. He merely grunted, not looking up from his copy of Quidditch Quarterly, which promised a semi-naked photoshoot starring Oliver Wood. Maybe that's why Harry's reading it, Ginny thought with amusement.
Her plan to find Cormac's house was to go to down to the post office in Diagon Alley and ask to send an owl to him. She'd send one asking him to apparate to the Alley and then take her back to his place. Or maybe they'd go for tea. But then again, they couldn't exactly have hot sex on a table in a cafe, could they?
Around fifteen minutes after she sent the owl, Cormac showed up outside the post office. Despite having been able to apparate for over half her life, Ginny still jumped when someone came up right in front of her. And there he was, in all his tall, muscular, Irish glory. Merlin, he was a looker. Ginny didn't care that he had been the biggest twat in the world back at Hogwarts – she hadn't enjoyed sex for over ten years, and she wanted that to change right there and right then.
So what had started as an innocent trip to catch up with an old acquaintance, Ginny decided, was going to turn into something else entirely.
"I'm so glad you owled me," Cormac said as they apparated into his living room, "I've been thinking about what you said ever since... well, you said it!"
Ginny blushed girlishly. "Well, you know, I just thought you seemed like you needed some cheering up..."
Cormac smiled. "You couldn't be more right! The kids are they only thing that keeps me going these days. And now that they're getting so old... well, all they want to do is stay up late chatting to their friends on those new Weasley's Wizophones. I must admit, though, I was rather under the impression that Harry didn't particularly want you fraternizing with me..."
Ginny laughed. "Nonsense. Harry's just a bit of an old fuddy-duddy. A boring guy."
There was a pause. They stood there, gazing into each others' eyes, looks saying more than any words could.
"I'm bored of him," Ginny said strongly.
Within seconds, Cormac was upon her, and they were pressed together in a close embrace, their lips locking passionately. He was over a head taller than Ginny, and so lifted her off her feet, on hand around her back and the other messing up her previously-neat hair. He carried her through to the dining room, where he pinned her down to the dinner table.
Pulling away slightly, Cormac asked "are you sure?"
"Absolutely. Are you sure?" she asked in reply.
"I haven't slept with anyone since Ellen died; what do you think?"
They both laughed, and Ginny pulled his face down towards hers, kissing him forcefully.
Meanwhile, Harry sat on his couch, a sour expression on his face and a copy of Quidditch Quarterly lying discarded by his side. He had been like that, staring into space, for half an hour now. He really hoped that Ginny and Cormac weren't having hot sex on his dining room table.
---
Ginny lay on the couch at Cormac's house. She had just had the best sex of her entire life. Ever. It was amazing. Nothing she had ever done with Harry had been that fulfilling. She didn't think she'd ever screamed as loudly. And Cormac seemed pretty pleased too.
"That... was... fantastic!" he panted, draped stark-naked over the coffee table.
"Yeah... we should do this again sometime..." she replied.
"Yeah," he replied, smiling.
"I'm gonna get a divorce!" Ginny shouted suddenly, as though a light had gone on in her brain.
Cormac laughed. "Doesn't that sort of take away the point of an affair?"
"I don't want this to be an affair," she said seriously, sitting up, "I want this to be my life."
"Me too," he said, "I want us to be together properly."
So that evening, Ginny returned home with a grin plastered on her face and a smile on her lips. "Evening, Harry!" she called out as she went to put her things down.
He walked into the hallway of their home and stood facing her. There were deep bags under his eyes and he looked in a state of daze. "Did you shag him?"
"What?" Ginny asked, dodging the question by pretending not to have heard. And, you know, her mind was on other things.
"Did you shag him?" Harry repeated, more forcefully this time.
"That's beside the point," she said, brushing him off.
Then again, no use in beating around the bush. "I want a divorce, Harry."
The two of them stood in silence for a few moments. "You what."
It was more a statement than a question.
"I want a divorce. Actually, no, I don't just want one, I'm getting one, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. This isn't to do with Cormac," – a blatant lie, - "but us. You've been treating me like dirt lately. And I want out. I want to have the freedom to do what I want without you standing accusingly over me every step of the way."
Harry was too shocked to reply. How could she do this to him? They were childhood sweethearts, for Merlin's sake! They were meant to be madly in love! They were meant to be the perfect coupe, perfect together. What had gone wrong? What was imperfect, all of a sudden?
"You okay?" Ginny asked, somewhat redundantly.
"I'm going out to the Leaky Cauldron," Harry said, "and I'm going to get so sodding drunk that I don't remember what my name is. And we can discuss divorce tomorrow."
---
Christmas at Casa Weasley – aka the Burrow – was guaranteed to be a dramatic affair, much like a wizard wedding, a wrestling match between Gilderoy Lockhart in his heyday and the Giant Squid or an angry divorce.
Then again, a Christmas at the Burrow without a bit of drama would be no Christmas at all, and so a little bit of angry divorce in the air only added to the atmosphere.
Albus was still a bit confused by the whole thing, but he was coping well enough. Lily thought it was "totally coolness" her mum was "doing the liberating thing", and James had gone all angsty and "if you want me I'll be in my room slitting my wrists/jerking off to some porn"-y. Rose and Hugo, the kids with normal names, thought it was all a bit funny. Sure, they loved Uncle Harry, but he had gone down in their estimation by disrespecting their favourite Aunty Ginny. Anyway, Uncle Harry wasn't nearly as much fun as Uncle Charlie or Uncle George, and nowhere near as smart as Uncle Bill and Uncle Percy.
So, with this odd collection of family and assorted paraphernalia, the Weasley family Christmas was a rather awkward affair indeed. As the kids played in the snow (or, in James' case, not-so-discreetly disappeared to the bathroom to wank), George and Angelina entertained them with some never-before-seen Weasley's items. Bill and Fleur were discussing the economy with Arthur, Molly was giving a very red and very surprised Hermione sex tips, Charlie was listening to an excited Percy rant on and on about the latest issue of Quidditch Quarterly and not bothering to hide the look of amusement on his face, and Ron was "listening" to Harry bitch about Ginny and what a joke it was that she'd left him for "Cormac Mc-motherfucking-twatface-dickhead-dipshit-Laggen".
And Ginny was sitting quietly in a corner with her boyfriend, his arm wrapped around her, looking onto the turmoil that was her magnificent family.
And she was happy.
WELL? What did you think? Drop me a line, and if you review, I'll reply! :)
Author's Note: A bit of a break from RBS for me, I'm afraid. In two weeks time, I'm jetting off to Houston and so I'm a bit busy now. But this idea was honestly too good to ignore. And yeah. Sorry about the wait, RBSers. It'll come. And when it does, it'll be amazing. Trust me. ;D
Also, notice the lack of "Audrey Weasley". I never wanted Percy to get married. He belongs with Oliver in my mind. I mean, if he HAD to get married, it would've been to Penelope, surely?
Anyway. I had to edit this a bit... turns out Lily Luna is younger than Albus "what a stupid name" Severus. But it's fixed now. All good. :D
Love from Legs