To say the least, Naruto Uzumaki hadn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks. Missions often took up his time. He couldn't complain too much though. Despite the lack of sleep, he had plenty of money to buy ramen. Even enough to take Sakura on a date, though like usual she declined his offer.
However tonight was different, tomorrow was his long awaited day off. He could sleep in all day if he wanted and that's what he planned, after sleeping he'd go off to buy more ramen. Maybe pester Kakashi while he was at it.
But for now, it was time to sleep. "Goodnight" he muttered slowly drifting off to dreamland.
As everything faded to black, the blonde heard the voice of another. It was angelic and filled with complete sweetness.
"Naruto, Narutooooo" it called.
The ninja glanced around, but all he could see was darkness. "YES? I can hear you, I just can't see you. Where are you, strange alluring voice?" Suddenly a figure appeared in front of him. She was a pretty girl with long curly blonde hair. Her eyes sparkled brightly as he awed at her.
"Whoa, who are you?" he gawked.
"Me?" the strange girl paused. "I am your dream fairy, here to give you the most wonderful dream ever"
"REALLY, JUST FOR ME?" Naruto could feel the excitement building inside of him. He had good dreams often, but never wonderful dreams. Heck most of the time they were just decent sometimes a little weird. Obviously this fairy was a nice person to do such a thing for him.
"Yes. When I snap my fingers you'll be off to your dream world. Are you ready?"
Naruto hesitated for a moment but then nodded. "You bet, however I have one question for you"
The fairy furrowed her brows, giving him a confused expression. "Alright, what's your question?"
"Why….do you smell of ramen?"
The fairy closed her eyes as if she was deep in thought, then whispered close to his ear. "Naruto, I'm made of ramen."
His blue hues widened in shock, though before he could reply; the fairy had snapped her fingers, sending him off.
He now found himself in the village, in broad daylight. The Ninja glanced around, uncertainly. What was he doing here?
He didn't pass out in the middle of the street did he?
No.
This had to be a part of his dream.
But what was he supposed to do now?
Suddenly, someone caught his attention. He honestly couldn't believe his eyes.
Was it really him, did he really come back?
"S-Sasuke?" Naruto called to the dark haired person only a few feet away.
The figure turned around and began approaching him. It was indeed Sasuke. "Naruto, it's been awhile" he began.
Naruto was overjoyed, his best friend, teammate and rival was back. This was the best day ever.
"How have you beeeeen?" the Uchiha asked, placing a hand on his hip. Naruto noted the sassiness in his voice. "Oh my god, Shikamaru had the cutest outfit on today, I asked him where he got it but he refused to tell me. That little whore" Naruto didn't know what to make of this. Something was seriously wrong with Sasuke.
"Teme….are you alright?" he choked.
"Teme? AWE, I get all hot and bothered when you call me that. You seductive scamp"
Seductive….Scamp? Naruto slowly backed away. This wasn't Sasuke. This wasn't Sasuke at all.
"Now come over here and give me some lovin!"
This was going too far, Naruto instantly turned around and began running. Though to his horror he could hear Sasuke close behind him.
"Ohhh! ~ We're playing cat and mouse? I love this game. Meowwwww. I'm gonna get ya cutie"
Oh god….Ramen dream fairy. This isn't a good dream; this isn't a good dream at all.
After a while of running, Naruto lost sight of Sasuke. He could finally rest for a moment and catch his breath.
"Naruto?"
He knew that voice all too well. Sakura was here too?
Thank goodness.
"S-Sakura, it's terrible. Sasukes broken"
Sakura tilted her head in confusion. "Eh, Sasuke? It didn't seem like anything was wrong when I talked to him"
"Y-You didn't notice anything strange?"
She paused, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Nope. Nothing. But hey, can you do me a favour?"
"What really-you?...what do you need Sakura?" Naruto wasn't going to argue with her about Sasuke. He'd just forget everything that had happened.
Now, his lovely Sakura needed his help. He wouldn't let her down.
"Could you just-"Sakura turned around so that her back was facing him. "Unzip this zipper…it's boiling in here"
His blue hues focused on the little zipper attached to her….flesh?
"W-What, I don't understand…"
"Please, just do it" she begged in an adorable voice.
"Uhm, well okay Sakura"
Gently, he unzipped the zipper and was horror-struck with what he saw. Crawling out from the area he unzipped was a muscular manly, man. With a moustache and tattoos. "Thanks Naruto, woo it was hot in there"
"You're not Sakura" He hissed.
"But of course I am, look at my hair"
He was pink, the exact same color as Sakuras.
"Yeah, but"
"Are you mad because I wouldn't go on a date with you? I'm a bit hungry, let's get some ramen?" the muscular, manly Sakura asked.
"N-No…I'm going to pass.. I'm not hungry" Naruto was about the lose his lunch in a second. What was dream fairy thinking?
This dream was getting worse and worse.
"Hey look" Sakura shouted. "It's Kakashi Sensei" her finger was pointed towards the sky. Naruto slowly glanced up, afraid of what he might see.
Indeed. Kakashi was in the sky. Flying.
"KAKASHI SENSEI?" Naruto shouted.
Kakashi glanced down at his two students with pride in his eyes. "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky" with that he shot up, straight into the sun after a few moments. The scent of burnt meat filled the air. Not long afterwards Kakashi's singed mask fell back to earth, landing in front of Naruto. Naruto shrieked in terror while Sakura laughed. "Kakashi Sensei, that silly guy" she grinned.
"Y-You're laughing at-"Naruto shook his head, before picking up the mask. Holding it close to his chest.
"I need to go Sakura; I'll talk to you later"
Sakura stroked her moustache softly. "Mm, okay. See ya Naruto."
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Naruto walked along the street gloomily. Sasuke was a flamboyant homosexual. Sakura was a man and Kakashi Sensei killed himself by flying into the sun. How could things get any worse?
Could things get worse than this?
He pondered for a moment though his thoughts were cut off by another familiar voice.
"N-Naruto?"
The blonde glanced over his shoulder, noticing his shy, former classmate Hinata.
"Hinata, uh hi! What are you doing here?"
The pretty girl glanced down. Being too shy to look him in the eye. "I was hoping I'd find you, Naruto….there's something I've been wanting to say"
"R-Really?...what is it?"
Hinata slowly looked up, her face as red as a tomato. "Naruto. I-I-I like you. Please let me have your heart. Suddenly she reached into her pocket, pulling out a kunai.
Naruto backed up a bit. "I had no idea you felt that way." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "What are you doing with that?"
"I want your heart….may I take it?" her eyes narrowed.
Naruto realized what she meant. His face paled. Within seconds he was running for dear life. Hinata was hot on his trail.
To make matters worse, in the direction Naruto was running. Sasuke could be seen. He was blowing kissing at him which made Naruto flinch.
"My darling..mmm you're coming back to me"
There was no way out of this.
Either His heart was gonna be cut out by Hinata or Sasuke was going to…..do SOMETHING to him.
"What do I do? what do I do?"
Beep beep beep beep.
What was that sound?
Naruto glanced down, noticing he still held Kakashi's mask. He realized that was making the beeping sound.
"What does this mean?"
Suddenly there was a flash of white light.
And then…..Naruto was in his bed.
"What…THE HELL WAS THAT? RAMEN DREAM FAIRY, YOU'RE THE WORST"
A light chuckle could be heard though no one could be seen.
"Don't eat Ramen before bed, Naruto. Or this'll happen again"
And this is what happens when I'm half asleep yet can't sleep.
I regret, nothing.
My mind is confusing. I'm sorry for writing this craziness.
Hopefully your brains didn't explode.