They were together and they were apart. Both at the same time. Joy and sorrow felt all the same and in the same instance. It was horribly upsetting to watch and I never really had the stomach for these kinds of things. Hell, I don't have the mind for this kinda thing. My uchuu no kokoro felt so much pain that, last time, I passed out and Trowa had to take care of me. Then, he made me turn off my psychic link to them so that I wouldn't get hurt any more and some other stuff about how he didn't want to have so much pain in the house.
I agree. The less pain the better. But there are some things that just don't work out the way you want them to.
The two of them had danced around each other for months and months on end. I think that if they waited any longer than they did, I would have acted a little more directly than I had, but that's a story for another time. Now, they found out their feelings and they were happy, blah blah blah.
But that wasn't quite it.
You see, Heero has his whole 'the mission is my life' thing and he's not willing to throw it away. He's afraid. He has nothing else to guide him, or so he thinks. He's always a loner, never asks for our help. But when you're an empath and keen observer like me, you notice these things. So anyway, Heero felt like he would be lost without Dr. J leading him through life. Hell, I think it's just 'cause that smelly old man doesn't like Duo that he doesn't let Heero be with him. I've decoded countless messages from J saying he wanted Duo dead. Something 'bout him being a distraction, I dunno, I couldn't decode the whole thing 'cause Duo came into the room then.
And boy, Duo's case is even worse. He's got this whole thing about how he thinks that its wrong to because his God said it was wrong to love someone of the same gender as you. That's complete bullshit. If you love someone, you love someone, no matter the gender or circumstance. Like me and my koi, but that's besides the point. Duo's always asking his God what to do, and never getting an answer. He's gotten really desperate for some direction, for something that he can trust to believe in.
Duo has never let himself get intimate or anything with Heero. Heero doesn't care, he says that as long as he can even be around Duo, that he can wait. He said he could wait forever.
But we can't. The three of us just sit all day and watch this depressing tale unfold before us, unable to do anything of help. Two lovers, true of heart. So close, yet so far apart. All we can do is watch and listen.
And what do we hear, you ask? All day long, there was silence, with maybe an occasionally vow of undying and unconditional love or maybe a quiet sobbing. And if Heero was on a mission, I would hear Duo praying the whole goddamn time. He prays and hopes for something, always the same thing. Forgiveness. Mercy. A miracle.
And it was even worse if Duo was gone and Heero was home. You would hear the tapping of laptop keys all day long, non-stop. I mean, it wasn't annoying or anything, but it was just that because when you looked at him, he was so different. He looked dead. Well, not dead dead, but his eyes looked dead, as in soulless. And what was even sadder was when you saw what he was typing. It was a hope, the same hope that Duo had, the same thing that he asked for from who he was loyal to. The same forgiveness. The same mercy. The same miracle.
And in the otherwise silenced house, you could hear those words echoing through the walls. Everything else was unimportant. Everything else was not real. Only they were.
-Owari-