1924, november

Credence clamped his legs tightly as he was lying in his bed. It was late night, and the house was as silent, as death. The only noise, which broke this silent was the loud rumble of his stomach. He grabbed his legs even tighter. He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to think about the hunger. He has been hungry before, moreover he was getting use to this feeling over the years, but this was far the longest time since his last eating. It was the fifth day, when he was sent to his room during dinner time. In these occassions he went upstairs in silence, with a stinging consciousness. At this evening he felt like he isn't even walking on the floor, only drifting. He lurched as he was trying to walk, he needed to hang on to the handrail to push himself up on the stairs. His mother noticed his precariousness, and she barked at him angry.

Dont act like you are dying Credence, you know I cant stand, when someone plays the martyr!

The boy immediately released the hadrail, took a deep breath and tried to walk faster. He knew, that he is lucky, hunger is still better, like the pain, which is caused by the belt, tearing into his meat like an angry snake.

As he was lying on his bed, he tried to breath calmer, and not to get lost among his painful memories. It never succeeded. What is the purpose of his life? Does he live only for suffering? Sometimes he wished to die. He was nothing. He cant behave right, he caused only sadness to his mother with his sinful life. If I would die right now, no one would miss me… - he thought. Perhaps Modesty would cry, and maybe even Chastity would sigh when she would hear it, but they would forget him quickly. His mother wouldnt feel anyhing. The only person he wanted to love and care about him for years would turn its back to his dead body. Credence would not blame her for it. He was a flawed product, that even the persistent punishments – lectures - couldnt fix. He hated himself. He hated, that he is still shaking, and tears are burning his eyes, when his mother tried to discipline him. He hated, that he forces her to punish him constantly. He was watching jealously the children on the streets for years, who climbed to their parent's hands, and looked up to them with adoration, and the parents answered with a kind smile, or a fondling. He wanted to feel the same, and to get this reaction from his mother. But the years slowly taught him, that this will never happen with them. He even doubt it, that it will happen with anyone. That some day, someone will look at him with sparkling eyes, and give him the love, he always wanted.

Thoughts like these kept him awake the whole night, so when the first rays of sun shined through his small window, he felt himself even more tired and haggard, then the last night. He sat up in his bed slowly, but he felt dizzyness in his head. He rubbed his face with his cold hands, tried to fight back the black shadows, which floated to his sight. He took a deep breath, and stood up. His clothes from the previous day laid on a chair. His only change of clothes was sill dirty, his mother allowed washing only once a week, because of frugality. He started to get dressed carefully, he paid attention to tuck in his buttoned shirt tightly into his trousers, and to clench his tie tautly. His mother liked, when everything fits tightly on him. The last thing was his belt, which teased him from the chair. He reached for it with a shaking hand, then grabbed it and quickly twisted it around his hip. He sighed relieved, when he felt its grip. It never meant anything good, when it wasnt on him during the day.

When he finished the dressing, he heard the life started up in the house. The walls were thin, and he heard that Chastity is moving next door. Probably she is getting dressed right now. – he tought. Usually until the sun came up they were downstairs, ready to listen their mother about the daily tasks. He heard, that his mother opened the tap in the bathroom. She was always the first in the toilet, the children can spend only after her there a few minutes. Mother did not like to wait for them downstairs. As Mary Lou finished, Credence stepped out from his room, to quickly get his things done before the girls wanted to go in the bathroom. As he walked past his mother, the woman only wasted a cold look to his son. Credence avoided her look, and hurried to the bathroom. As he looked in the mirror, a tallow-faced, skinny boy stared back to him. He quickly snapped away his gaze from it. He only started to brush his teeth, when Chastity knocked on the door.

Credence, can you hurry? I need to make Modesty's hair, and before it I would like to take a shower! – her voice sounded impatient.

Credence didnt understand why cant she make Modesty's hair before taking a shower, but he didnt questioned her. He just quickly finished brushing his teeth, and opened the door.

Otherwise, I think its better if you hurry downstairs, perhaphs Mother will forgive you, if you try to behave the best you can. – she added, looking to her brother.

Credence nodded, and turned to the stairs. He didnt really believe, that his mother would reward his diligence, but Chasitity was right, he need to try it at least. When he came downstairs, he could smell the oatmeal, getting prepared for breakfast. His stomach twitched from hunger, but he tried not to show it. He stepped in the kitchen with his head bowed, waiting for his mother's orders. She looked up without any emotions on her face, when she saw him.

Dont just stare, Credence, do something useful. – said coldly.

Perhaphs I should finish the meal? – he asked, because suddenly nothing else task came to his mind.

Oh no, considering how greedy you are, you couldnt stand it, and you would eat from it. And you have not earned to eat yet. – she said with a scornful smile.

These words hit Credence. It wasnt, that he wont eat today – altough from the hunger and tiredness he could barely stand on his feet – but the fact, that his mother doesnt trust him, even a bit. He has never been greedy, and he would never eat from their food without permission. Of course he didnt say it out loud, just nodded in silent and backed out from the kitchen. In the dining room he grabbed a rag, and started to clean the table mechanically.

Ouch, Chastity its to tight! – he heard suddenly Modesty's voice from upstairs. Chastity answered much more quietly, Credence hardly heard her voice.

I am sorry, but you know, if Mother spots, that your bun is too loose, she will clench it much more tighter. – said.

Both of them tried to protect Modesty, eventhough unlike Credence, Chastity never took the blame for her, but she tried to help the little girl to avoid the punishments. Modesty lived with them only for a year, and she didnt understand every rule. She didnt know yet, how varied forms of misbehaviour can get her in trouble.

Fine, Chastity. Thank you. – said finally the little girl in a thin voice. It was like she can start to cry in any minute.

Wash your face, then come downstairs. – he heard Chastity again, and not long after he saw her figure on the top of the stairs.

Credence turned back to his job, and continued to wipe the already clean table. From the corner of his eyes, he saw, that Chastity is sending a reassuring half-smile to him, but she didnt stop to speak with him, she continued her way to the kitchen, and stood next to their mother. She didnt send her away, just gave the wooden spoon to her. She trusted her.

From the smells Credence figured out, that the breakfast is almost ready, so he started to set the table. He took out three glasses, three spoons, and three bowls. For himself he didnt put out anything. When he finished, he stood still next to the table in silence.

A few minutes later Chastity turned down the blaze on the cooking stove, and brought the pot to the table, followed by their mother, and Modesty also joined them from upstairs.

Sit down, children. – turned Mary Lou to their daughters. She didnt even glance at Credence.

Ma…- said Modesty quietly. Mary Lou looked at her suprised.

Yes, Modesty? – asked

Can Credence sit down as well, maybe? – faltered Modesty out, and looked at her mother concerned.

Mary Lou knitted her eyebrows, as she looked to her daughter, but suddenly a small smile appeared in the corner of her mouth. Credence sensed, that nothing good will come.

Sure, Modesty, if he want to. – answered Mary Lou finally, still with a smile on her face, and she looked to her son. Credence glanced in her way very carefully.

Credence? Would you like to join us, and eat some oatmeal? – asked his mother, almost kindly.

But her voice didnt mislead him. He knew, its just a test, and if he doesnt pass, he will get much worse. Eventough his legs were weak from hunger and tiredness, he slowly shaked his head.

Thank you, but I dont want to. – answered quietly.

Mary Lou watched him for a while, then she sighed, and looked back to Modesty.

See, Modesty, he doesnt want to sit down. He knows, that he deserves his punishment. – said.

Modesty glanced to her bother scared, but she didnt say a word. They ate their food in silence. When they finished, Credence left his spot, and started to gather the bowls. He brought them out to the kitchen.

When he came back, his mother was already standing by the opposite side of the table, next to the piles of the leaflets. The boy joined his sisters, who were waiting for their daily tasks.

Chastity, you are coming with me today. We are going to the press, for another pile of leaflet. Then we have a meeting with the new priest. He just recently moved to the city, and we need to introduce us properly. We will tell him about our case, and we try to convince him about the danger. If the people would listen during the mass about witches, we could persuade them much more faster to join our side in the fight. – said their mother determined.

Modesty, you can go out and play with the other children. Take some leaflets with you, I believe that you can hand them over, and you will talk to them about our mission. Be at home by 12 o'clock, we will come back with Chastity by then, and we can start to prepare the lunch. – turned to his youger daughter. Modesty nodded.

Credence, I cant risk to take you with us to the priest. Im afraid you would scare him off. – she looked to his son with disgust. – And as you dont need to have lunch, come home only at 3 o'clock. Until you will hand out those. All of them. – she pointed to a great pile of leaflets.

Credence swallowed. There were at least one hundred leaflets on the table. There was no chance, that he could pass them all, no matter how many hours he need to stay on the streets. And he knew what happens, if he arrives at home with too many. He bowed his head, and took the leaflets from the table. It was hard enough to carry them, he didnt figure it out, how can he hand them out without dropping even one. His mother watched his struggling coldly, then she sent him on his way with a wave of her hand.

He stepped out of the house, and he felt giddy again, as the cold late autumn wind hit him. When he left his home, he carefully took a leaflet from the top of the pile, and offered it to the people around him. He wasnt suprised, that no one didnt even look at him. He was walking slowly, looking down to the ground. He didnt like the crowd, but he tried to approach crowded areas in the hope of handing out more leaflets. He was walking at least for half an hour, when the first person took a leaflet from him. It was a well-dressed man, who was in a rush, he didnt even stopped, just grabbed the paper, and continued his way. Credence sighed relieved. Its one fewer. He kept walking.

Minutes, then hours passed, and eventough he managed to hand out a few leaflets, there were still many in his hand. He felt more and more dizzy, he even needed to hang on to a streetlamp. He tried to take deep breath, and continue his way. The dark shadows covered his sight, he could barely see where he is going. He was passing through a road, when the world started to spin around him. The shadows fully swallowed him, and he falled to the cold ground. For a moment, he saw, that the wind picked up the leaflets, as he dropped them, and he heard the cars honked at him loudly. Then everyhing went black.