Just a random musing that hit me as I caught a snippet of RotS. Hope it serves. I don't think it's possible, but it was too inspiring of a thought for me not to write this.

As always, if I owned it I'd be selling it not giving it away for free. I just follow the urge of the plot bunnies. No, not bunnies- kitty/bunnies.

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I'm sorry I lied, Anni. I should have told you. The moment I knew for sure. No, the moment I suspected. You should have known. I'm sorry Anni. I shouldn't have lied.

I did it because I thought you would protect a child of ours. That you would protect me. And now, because of the lie, these children will have to live their lives hidden. I don't have time to tell you, and if I can't tell you…

I should have told you.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry not just for lying, but for doing something that means I have to lie to you. And to him. He's at my side now, holding my hand, and even if he won't show it I can somehow sense that his heart is breaking. He thinks he's helping me through birthing another man's child. When I asked for him, my intent was to tell him the truth, but I don't know if I have the strength…

And I know I don't have the heart.

"Don't give up, Padme." I can't tell if he's saying it or just thinking it. I know I should hold on for the children, but I can't. I can't even hold on for him. Or for you, Anakin. Because you're the one I betrayed…

I should have told you.

I keep coming back to that truth, the truth that compounds the situation. The truth is what makes this all the more painful, and in fact is part of the reason I can't live. I don't deserve to live. If Obi-Wan knew the reason I was giving up, he would probably blame himself. I can't tell him. I can't say… all I can do is take the secret along with me.

Did you touch the truth? Is that why you tried to kill me? Did you know?

Did you sense that the child- no, the children- aren't yours?

It wasn't just a one-night stand. That probably makes it worse, but it is the truth. From the moment I first met him, a part of my heart was with him. The part that was like him: obedient, gracious, self-sacrificing. He was like me in that respect, though I never could understand the humility in him. I loved him for it, and when he lost his master on my planet- for my benefit, even!- I had to comfort him. And comfort turned to love, but it was never the same love I had for you.

With you I was free. You owned me totally, and I adored you for it. But there was a side of my heart that was for Obi-Wan, too. I tried to deny it, but then…

It was toward the end of the Clone Wars. You were both back. He'd been injured, and you'd cared for him- you came back to me tired, and so scared. You remember that night, the night you thought we'd conceived our child. What you never knew was that after we had made love, after the tumbling and caressing, I went to see Obi-Wan as well. I was afraid for him. You had told me everything, told me how close he came.

I was surprised to find him alone. For the time in many years, the first time since OUR wedding, I held him. I fell into his arms, and he caught me, though I could tell it hurt. I apologized, and from there…

From there we did a thing we should never have done.

And so these children are his.

I'm sorry…

"Luke."

"Leia."

I can't hold on anymore. Not for you, not for him. Not even for the children, or the Republic.

I love you, Anakin Skywalker. I love the part of you that always loved me.

"There is still good in him."

It is the part of him that will always cling to my memory. The part of him that, even as time goes on, will always believe that the children are his, even if he senses my other lover in them. And that part of him I will love until the stars all go cold.

But I shall always love you, Obi-Wan, as well.