A/N: this is my first real drama/serious story. This is the point of view of Knives. I hope you like it! I know the chapter is long but ... It's good! I swear! Review if you want more! Oh and this is yaoi. Maybe not that much at first but I promise if I get enough reviews then I'll get a yaoi scene in the story. Goal for reviews ... as many as I get! At least two please! Well enjoy! . Trigun is not mine don't sue me!

Step up.

White light...it's everywhere. Is this my fate, to be locked in this place where you're neither in heaven or hell. My eyes travel around the room seeking for something-other then bright white. Wait! There ... right over there! The whiteness is clearing ... its changing into wood ... OH! That's a wall, the sanded down wood that makes up that wall. I see a horribly decorated room now. Flowered bed sheets are covering my legs all the way to my waist. The bed is hard like a rock, creaking when I move just a little bit. My blond, short, messy hair moves when I shake my head to try and get the dizziness out. My ice blue orbs travel around the room once again; the door is to my right. Maybe if I could get up for just a moment I could reach it. No, NO! The pain is too much! I can't move my arms or legs...but why? Oh yes, yes, yes! I remember now, dear brother...you shot me didn't you. I laugh at the irony of it all, my brother tried to kill me and yet he is trying to take care of me!

My nose crinkles up, as I smell something burning. I want to cover my nose but then again; I can't move my arms even if I wanted to. The smell gets stronger ... is my brother trying to kill me, by burning the house down? Wait a minute, it smells like burnt food! Is he going to make me eat that crap ... hahaha! I can't stop myself from laughing now. Someone is opening the door, who could it be? Her head pops through the open door ... is she scared? She should be, after all this! Her small frame moves through the door, while her hands grip onto the plate with the horrible smelling food on it. I close my eyes and try to force myself back to sleep but I can't, so I open them again. I say nothing ... the only person I want to speak with is my brother. She sets the plate on the bed stand and rakes one of her hands through her black short hair. She looks small about 5'0. She saw me with my eyes open ... damn! She moves a chair next to me ... what is she looking at!?

"So ... you're finally awake," She whispers in more of a statement then a question.

"..." I say nothing. I want nothing to do with her!

"Here," She says gently as she hands me the burnt ... wait, what is it?

"...." Nothing, I say absolutely nothing as I grab the small plate and move it aside.

"You know you're supposed to eat it!" She says sarcastically with a small smile daring to come out like a small ray of light after a horrible tornado. Am I the tornado, no Vash is.

"Eh, ah" I groan. I'm way to soar to move, and yet I try to swing my legs over to the edge of the bed.

"H-HEY! D-don't do that! You're going' to get more wounds!" She yells at me.

OH! Too late! The blackness consumes me as I feel the pain wash away and my eyes slowly shut. I can hear her ... cry ... I don't even know her and she's crying! Ah! This is bliss the dark feeling of loneliness. That's how I felt when Vash left me. He left me for that stupid human named Rem Saverm. We were only 1 month old but still Rem was more important. He called her his adoptive mother, but she only cared for him ... not me, and I was his twin!

Memories from long ago come back as this blackness swirls around in my head. Steve, that man who abused us and called us monsters. Everyone was afraid of us. I felt alone at 1 month, Though me and my brother are plants so we looked a lot older, about 9 years old. Vash cared more about Rem then me, his flesh and blood. All I wanted was someone to love me, To tell me it was going to be okay after each beating from Steve ... but he never did. I wanted someone beside me, and even now he tried to kill me. My nose starts to work again and I smell sweet cinnamon mixed with strawberries. It is a smell I can never forget. He smelled like that when he was a child too! We look like we are 25 now but we are only 131. I feel a warm hand run through my hair and I shiver at the touch of it.

My eyes open slowly blinking in the sunlight coming in through the cracked window. My mind is telling me to moan, to show him how much I want it ... how much I want him ... but I can't, yet. My ice blue eyes turn to his wonderful beige skin and travel around his face for a moment. He doesn't seem to see me looking at him. He seems lost in thought as he runs his hand through my short hair. His aqua eyes look out the window. His other hand, the one not occupied with my hair is resting on my pale creamy chest. I start to shiver, please don't torment me like this, brother! I try to think of something to say ... all I can think of is brother. My beautiful brother with his fake smile, always happy, but he is always mad. You can't see it, but I can feel it. He is always mad at me! Why? Well I think I remember. Oh yes, now I remember, it's because I killed that stupid human Rem. Rem, that woman brainwashed him! She told him that humans were kind and gentle ... then what are all those scars on his beautiful body! My anger makes my body temperature go sky high. His eyes are averted from the window as his attention falls on me with worry. Worry of what? That I might destroy the humans! I should after all the pain they put him through ... all the pain they put me through.

"Brother ... Are you okay? You have a temperature!" His voice grows with concern, "Do you need water ... I'll get you some water!" He is talking in a hurry; did he not want me to find him stroking my hair? Why is he acting like this?

"V-Vash ... W-wait just a-a moment," I say shakily ... damn my voice!

"Huh?" He says surprised. Surprised of what, that I can still talk! "Are you okay? Say something else please Knives"

Knives ... it's been a long time since he said my name in a tone other then anger or hatred.

"Vash come back here, please just come back!" I plead to him. My voice seems stronger, more confidence in my needs and wants.

"Um, all right," He says confused. I don't think he was expecting me to ask that of him.

His usually spiked up hair was fallen, like he barely had gotten out of the shower. His blue, button up shirt was open to the world and he wore tight blue jeans with brown cowboy boots. He walked to me and slumped down onto the chair that the woman who had brought me the burnt food was sitting in a while ago.

"How long was I out?" I ask calmly.

"Oh, just for three hours," He replies. I don't think he got my question. I smile; my brother was always blunt.

"No, I meant when you shot me," How funny it sounds to be talking about that incident with such ease.

"OH! Um, about a week." He says somewhat nervously.

"Hmm ... a week, that's a long time," I'm actually angry but not against Vash; I'm angry at myself for being so weak, "So ... who was that human?" Great! That's a wonderful way to start a conversation. For such an intelligent being like myself I swear I can be damn stupid sometimes.

"Oh! You mean Meryl! Yea, isn't she great?" He seems to notice the stupid question as something important, "OH! And there is Millie too!" He exclaims happily.

"My, my, what joy," I respond with sarcasm written all over it, "Two great humans!" I smirk at the tone of my voice, perfect, with just the right amount of sarcasm spilled into it.

My brother frowns a bit making little wrinkles on his forehead. The word cute doesn't begin to describe it! Oh my, I'm truly mean aren't I? I let a little, low chuckle out at his reaction. He hears this and looks at me with his deep aqua eyes. Don't look at me like that, please! Don't show me compassion now, when I'm already dead inside! Not now that I feel emotionally numb!

"Why?" He asks, his frown grows deeper. Why what? What is he talking about? "You know what! ... Don't tell me you think I forgot how to use telekinesis?" He asks. My confusion goes away and is replaced with realization. NO, NO! He couldn't have heard everything I thought! That's why he looked in deep thought earlier, because he was listening! He didn't get worried of my body temperature; he got worried of my anger and thoughts! Only two words are coming into my mind FUCKING SHIT! And then another word, DAMN! I look away quickly and stare out the window like he had done when ... he listened to my thoughts. My eyes swell up with tears, when have I cried? It's been a long time since I did cry. The pain in my arms and legs is no longer noticeable. My hands swiftly come up to cover my face. How could he feel nothing if he heard everything! That's just too cruel!

"LEAVE!" I yell through my hands, "Just leave me! You've hurt me enough" I can't stop the wet water falling from my eyes.

"No." He states firmly and calmly, "I'm not going anywhere. I want to be right here! You're not going to push me away when I finally know how you feel!"

His hand moves toward my face and brushes a few fresh droplets of tears from my cheeks. His hair droops even more down and covers his eyes. I hear two low thumps that make me look toward him. He smiles softly at me ... Wait! Now I see, they were his boots. I feel his hand slip away from my face and slowly slip off his blue shirt. What's he doing now? Why is he doing this? More torment for the evil tormentor, is that it? His eyes are fragile looking, like glass; they are so beautiful. He turns away from me, I knew it! It was a horrible way to torment me! Wait is that the light switch he is going to. What time is it? I look out the window at the same time he turns out the light. It must be late, cause' it's almost pitch black. The only light is from the hall outside this room I'm in. I see the door shut, all light blocked. I'm left alone again, aren't I? I feel a weight making the bed creek.

"Vash?" I whisper softly, like if his name were sacred; it is to me.

"Mm...." He replies.

I feel his scarred arm wrap around my stomach. His body is so close. I want to tell him to hold me tighter, to rub my skin, to caress me, but I wont ruin now. Like if he reads my mind (wait he does), he grips my waist with his hands. Pulling me closer to him but leaving me enough room to turn around and face him. How did he know I wanted to look at him ... Oh, right ... telekinesis!

I move slowly trying not to press too hard on my wounds. I'm soon on my side, yes it hurts but the pleasure of having my beloved brother here takes the pain away. I stare up into his eyes as I move my arm around his lower waist and gently lower my head upon his scarred but beautifully erotic chest. His hand finds its way to my hair and is soon stroking my scalp. I don't hold it back anymore, if he heard everything then he should know how I feel for him, so I let out a small moan and I let a small smile replace the frown I had on a while ago. I hear him sigh happily, does he feel the same about me or is he relieved that I'm happy and I won't go on a killing streak? What ever it is I'm just glad the he's here, with me ... not trying to kill me. My eyes soon feel like lead and they slowly shut. The feelings that I felt in my dreams were calm; happy ... there wasn't any nightmares that night. True bliss came to me while I was in my brothers' arms. Daylight is soon coming, a new day ... new obstacles, and new feelings ... just ... great...

I hope you liked it! Tell me if I should keep on going! Please make me feel loved XD. Tell me if I need to improve and any suggestions are welcomed! Well go on! Review! Or I'll send my legato on you! XD