Prologue. Did she ever learn? Beer Bad!

Disclaimer : As usual nothing belongs to me I only borrow them. All rights belong to their respective owners.

Premise: It seems that SG1 and the IWC have intermarried. How did this happen? VEGAS of course. Question is who married who and will they stay married? I would like to add that this is meant to be light hearted fun and not to be taken seriously

Timeline, Sg1 - S8. That being said Carter is not interested in the loser cop but neither is she interested in Jack. Buffy set after chosen as I am not to sure how the canon timeline fit's I'll make Buffy 29 in this.

Prologue : Did she ever learn? Beer Bad!

Buffy's eyes awoke when the glaring sun shone into her eyes. She instinctively shut her eyes against the pain. She had two thoughts in that moment. The first being no wonder vamps hate the sun, and the second thought was one she actually vocalized.

"Why don't I ever learn? Beer bad."

As she started to awaken and become more aware of her surroundings. There was someone else in bed with her!

She appeared to be lying next to an older gentleman, who in her opinion wore his age well. She could see the visible scars and figured that he was either a hunter, or military black ops at a guess. It was at this point, that her mental musings actually caught up with reality. She realized she was lying - naked in bed - with said stranger. She jumped up, with all the speed and agility that she possessed, and demanded, "Who the hell are you?"

The shout roused the man. He was awake in an instant, "General Jack O'Neill." He showed an impressive indifference to the situation and asked, "And you are?"

Buffy's biggest temptation right now was to say nothing, grab her clothes and run. After all they were both adults and plenty of people had one night stands. Her thoughts stopped as she watched him rub his face. It was not the cute gesture but rather the fact he was wearing a suspicious object on his finger - A Gold ring.

She looked in horror at his hand, "I can't believe I am about to say this ... Were you married before you came to Vegas?"

Jack looked at his own hand, "Oh crap. No."

Buffy to her credit, gave only a resigned sigh as she picked up what seemed to be the marriage certificate. It caught her attention, like it was mocking her on the sideboard.

She said it deadpan but there was no point in getting worked up over what was already done. "Well I guess I'm Buffy O'Neill." She had no clue what came over her but with a tweak of boldness, "I get the shower first honey."

Jack was sure that his jaw dropped, as his eyes took in her toned naked body heading towards the shower. She'd forgone a towel and Jack sent a silent prayer of thanks to the fates. Then he made a mental note to have a cold shower.

The couple were unaware of it but certain fates had indeed had a hand in their marriage.

The Powers That Be seeing what lay ahead had decided that their warriors needed to be strong. They felt the best way to ensure that was for them to unite with their soul mates. They would not force them to get married but they did pull on a few fate strings to get them all in the same place.

Buffy came out of the bathroom feeling refreshed and sated. Her hubby maybe be older but he knew what to do in bed. She was now looking like her usual immaculate self. She was smirking as she said, "All yours."

Jack quirked an eyebrow at the flirty tone. He figured in the cold light of day she would decide he was too old. It didn't seem that way so he decided to flirt back. He figured what the hell, they were already married. Lowering his voice,

"If you don't stop teasing, I won't be responsible for my actions."

Damn him, she thought, the intense look he was sending her way was turning her insides wobbly. Channelling her inner Faith, she met his smirk with one of her own.

"If you don't cover your chest up, we won't leave the bed for the day. I don't know about you but I want breakfast, and I think we need to talk before that."

Jack's mind jumped to bad places, when he heard her comment. He was staring to think that maybe this marriage might not be such a bad thing. He was glad that Buffy seemed to be thinking along the same lines as him. It was crazy though, they had just met yesterday!

He proceeded to go into the bathroom, muttering under his breath. "Cold shower ... I need a cold shower."

Buffy smiled to herself as she realized she still had it. It was then her common sense started to reassert itself, and doubts were starting to crawl in. She knew he was military, and this was stupid and risky. She did not exactly have a good record with military types. Once in a while, didn't she deserve to be selfish, didn't she?

A brisk knock at the door, broke her musings. She looked through her peep hole to see two secret service agents standing in the corridor. Opening the door, she smiled seeing the huge bunch of flowers. The flowers were thrust into her hands and a phone in the other.

Jack noticed that she didn't seem phased by the Secret Service. His wife just shut the door, and dumped the flowers on the bed, whilst lifting the phone to her ear. "Hello Henry. Thank you - Yes I can put you on speaker."

Her husband froze on the spot hearing the strangers voice. He blinked in shock at hearing the greeting. "Congratulations on your impromptu wedding to the lovely Buffy."

Jack gave a wry smile, "Thank you Sir. It was just so sudden."

Buffy snorted, and the president laughed, "I can't order you Buffy but Jack deals in the strange. Jack .. Mrs O'Neill does have the security clearance for your work. I will grant permission to her team and you will need to sort their clearances out on paper."

Buffy frowned, "Why would my team need their clearances raised?"

The president was happy to inform his favourite slayer. "You weren't the only person to have an impromptu wedding. Xander has married Colonel Carter, Dr Jackson - Faith, and Teal'c has married Willow."

This made them both punch the air with joy. Buffy didn't bother to hide it. "Oh you've made my day Henry. I'm not going to get yelled at now by Giles when I report in. Thank you again for the flowers they were lovely."

"You're welcome Buffy, and I meant what I said. I think you will be a perfect couple; he hates the NID as much as you do."

Jack sat down on the edge of the rumpled bed. He figured they should start talking soon. His impromptu chat with the President just added another few layers, to the puzzle that was his wife. He took a deep breath asking, "Okay. Why do you hate the NID?"

Buffy swallowed down her ingrained hatred she had for the organization to answer. "I stumbled upon them, and they were messing in things that they didn't understand. I took them down hard."

He noticed the cold glint in her eyes, it was one he recognised - when he looked in the mirror. He didn't expect to ever see that look in the eyes of the gorgeous blonde, he'd awoken next to. On reflection, he realised that the sharper edge suited her. He was an old, dangerous man, years of black ops had seen to that, but his wife was just as dangerous he soon realised.

He broached the next topic, wanting to curse his Commander-in-Chief. "How do you feel about aliens?"

Several things in Buffy's mind fell into place all at once. He was speaking the same way she spoke about demons. In the previous two weeks, all her dreams were from the memories of an Ancient Egyptian slayer. Buffy figured her husband deserved a little heads up before she called down Whistler. She wanted to talk to the demon to try and figure out what was going on. She gave him an honest answer,

"Simple, if it's a bad guy - point them out, give me a weapon and let me at them. If they are friendly; I'll invite them to lunch just as long as I don't cook."

Buffy figured Whistler would be the real test of whether they could give their marriage a go. She explained, "I am about to yell for an errant demon messenger to get a few questions answered. I may want to flatten his ass but don't shoot him. I'll take your extraterrestrial threat and raise it a supernatural threat."

Jack was curious, it seemed demons were real, maybe. He tried to deny it, but instinctively how could he do so? When his life had been a bad sci-fi script for ten years. It wasn't such a stretch to find out Dracula was real.

Standing in the middle of their hotel room, hands on her hips, looking magnificent in her anger. He watched as Buffy looked up to the sky and started shouting. "Whistler get your butt down here, before I make your ribcage my hat and use your skin for a new pair of boots."

The demon materialized beside her, "Now slayer. Why can't you be a blissful newly-wed?"

Her eyes narrowed and, she all but purred her response, "I would love to be all loved up. Jack is exceptional ... but I want a heads up."

The demon looked surprised, "What do you mean?"

Buffy rolled her eyes, "I only play the ditz Whistler. Now I know I had a choice in the marriage, coz the precious powers can't interfere that much. Plus, no matter how drunk I got; I wouldn't have married someone else, unless I really wanted to. What I don't like is the fact my husband is in charge of the Chapp'ai. I'm guessing there was a reason you lot seem to have been sending me cryptic messages about it."

Jacks head shot round in surprise. Buffy had used the Egyptian name for the Stargate. He was still getting over the fact she knew the Egyptian. When the demon replied,

"Now slayer, it's true you are both needed for what is come."

Buffy actually collapsed into Jack, who instinctively wrapped an arm around her waist. She liked the feeling a hell of a lot more than she was willing to admit right now. She looked up into his eyes, fluttering her lashes just a tad more than necessary "Tell me. Do galactic emergencies happen on Tuesday's or is just my apocalypses?"

Jack couldn't help but smile at the flippant question. They did seem to be well matched, "Nope Friday's for me. Maybe we should just hide on those days?"

Buffy thought about it and with a deep sigh, she shook her head. "Love the idea, but if we did, then the world would end, and that would royally suck."

Whistler couldn't help but smile at the small display of affection he saw. It seemed that they were in fact on the road to happiness. He hated to break up the moment, but needing to do his duty. "Slayer I am able to tell you that soon a new evil will encroach this galaxy. It will need the chosen two to be defeated."

With that, his departure was just as abrupt as his entrance. Buffy just grumbled, "Seems I have a new assignment. Stupid Powers."

Jack actually kept his arms around his new wife and asked. "Would you hate me right now if I asked what a slayer was?"

Buffy just sighed, "Well the story starts like this One girl in all the world . . ." She carried on with the whole spiel until she came to her conclusion. "Only I suck at the rules so when I was in a real big jam I made all the potentials active."

Their conversation continued for over an hour. They told each other stories about themselves, and their friends. Jack and Buffy revealed more to each other than they had shared with anyone else in several years. The conversation wound up, when Jack's stomach objected to the lack of food. Buffy smiled at him and Jack to ask.

"So are we actually contemplating this?"

Buffy gave him a predatory smile, "Oh I'm not finished with you, but we need fuel. and we should take the chance to mock the others."

Jack loved the sound of this but added solemnly. "We are leaders and with great power, comes great responsibility." He didn't miss a beat as he added, "That and the chance to tease our minions mercilessly."

EDITED 30/5/15