-Rest in Peace, Patrick Swayze who is mentioned in this piece-

This is a crossover between BtVS and Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels.

After Buffy dies at the end of The Gift in Season 5, Death helps her cross over.

A/N: Apologies for the formatting. FF doesn't seem to want to keep the spaces between Death's words. Very annoying.

There was her body. Lay there, perfectly unbroken. Amazing how Slayer-related bonuses could still hold up even when dying. Being dead.

She didn't expect this though. White light maybe. Maybe her Mom...Grandma....family pets...not just watching her body among the wreckage as her friends gathered around her, crying. It was too painful to watch. Anya in Xander's arms as he watched with an expression so grim it was a stranger upon his usual laughing face, Willow and Tara supporting one another in sadness, Spike crashing to the floor in floods of tears, Dawn holding her stomach and preventing herself from being sick from so much loss and Giles stood there tensely tears in his eyes and heart but holding it together for everyone else as always.

H E L L O

The voice gave Buffy a start- she wasn't even sure whether she had heard someone say it or whether it was inside her own head. She quickly spun around on the spot for the source and came to a hard stop as she saw the person whom it must undoubtedly be.

He was tall. Very tall. And very thin. Skeletally thin. He wore a long black cloak, the cowl over his head and in his left, bony hand he held a long handled silver scythe that glinted blue for a moment that was almost missed.

"What the....?" She questioned. Surely she wasn't supposed to continue slaying things after dying. Because that was no where in the contract.

I A M S U R E Y O U H A V E H E A R D O F M E . E S P E C I A L L Y I N Y O U R L I N E O F W O R K.

She looked up into the glowing blue pinpricks that seemed to be his eyes.

I H A V E C E R T A I N L Y H E A R D O F Y O U, he continued and she could hear a slight smile in his voice giving the impression that he believed he had just paid her a compliment or perhaps he was just pleased with the fact he had heard of someone before they died.

"Erm, yeah," She nodded, licking her ghostly lips that suddenly felt a little dry though some part of her couldn't understand how, "Guess a guy like you comes across a lot of us Slayer types. So you're Death. The Death. Grim Reaper. He of the Black Cowl? I'm surprised you look so cliché, I mean usu-"

H E O F T H E B L A C K C O W L, Death repeated with a mixture of amusement and confusion in his voice, I D O N O T T H I N K P E O P L E O F T E N C H O O S E T O C A L L M E T H A T. B E S I D E S, he added as an afterthought, T H E C O W L I S D A R K G R A Y.

"Of course it is," Buffy raised one eyebrow. This was not how she expected Death to be at all...he was so....human-like. "So," She began, opting to change the subject, "what happens now? Do I go into the light....do I hang around annoying people....do you erm.....do we fight?"

FI G H T, he questioned, W H Y S H O U L D W E F I G H T. I A M T H E I N E V I T A B L E C O N C L U S I O N T O A L L L I F E. W H Y S H O U L D W E F I G H T ?, he paused, I D O N O T W A N T T O F I G H T. B U T I F Y O U W I S H T O T R Y I W A R N Y O U I W I L L H A V E A D I S T I N C T A D V A N T A G E O V E R T H E O U T C O M E.

"So you'd cheat?" She asked, a smile twitching or her lips as she attempted to keep a straight face.

I A S S U R E Y O U I H A V E N O N E E D T O...C H E A T, he said pointedly.

"Oh," She sighed, realizing her death humor had been a misfire, "I just thought you know Death....cheating...might have been a nice twist on how everyone' always trying to cheat..." She sighed again, "Ah never man"

A H, he nodded raising one skeletal finger in understanding, Y O U W E R E U S I N G A P U N. A C L E V E R P L A Y O N W O R D S. V E R Y...UM , G O O D.

He did not seem that impressed with her pun. Well what did he expect? She had just died after all? Her witticisms weren't what they usually were.

"So all erm, puns, aside what does happen now?" She asked

W H A T E V E R Y O U B E L I E V E W I L L H A P P E N I N T H E....A H,

"Afterlife?"

Y E S, he agreed emphatically

"So I'll see all my family and everything in some kinda heavenly floaty cloudy place?"

I F T H A T I S W H A T Y O U T H I N K W I L L B E T H E R E T H E N I H A V E N O V I A B L E R E A S O N T O A R G U E T H A T Y O U W I L L N O T.

"Nice.....hey how come I didn't see you the last time I died?" She asked, the thought suddenly occurring to her

Y O U D O R E A L I Z E T H E R E A R E O N A V E R A G E F I F T E E N T H O U S A N D S E V E N H U N D R E D A N D F I F T Y S I X D E A T H O F E V E R Y K I N D E V E R Y S E C O N D. I T W O U L D B E A P H Y S I C A L A N D M Y T H I C A L I M P O S S I B I L I T Y F O R M E T O A T T E N D E V E R Y O N E I N Q U E S T I O N . E S P E C I A L L Y O N E S, he leaned down towards her so they were looking more eye to eye, T H A T A R E N O T O F T H E P E R M E N A N T V A R I E T Y. One of the lightening blue pin pricks disappeared for a second and then reappeared and Buffy had the feeling Death had just winked at her.

"Oh...so this time it is permanent then?" She asked and he nodded silently, "I just thought with me hanging around all Ghost like...I thought maybe I was gonna be the Patrick Swayze to Dawn's Demi Moore." She frowned and then hurried added, "Without the characters' romantic associations obviously," She laughed nervously.

I D O N O T U N D E R S T A N D, he told her, a frown in his voice, I B E L I E V E Y O U A R E S P E A K I N G ....G I B B E R I S H. Y E S . G I B B E R I S H.

"Patric...Ghos....ah forget it," She shrugged, "So I guess now's the time for me to be....moving on I guess?"

T H A T W O U L D B E T H E N E X T L O G I C A L S T E P. A N D P R E F E R A B L E T O O, he added, I D O N O T I M A G I N E L I F E A S A S P I R I T I S I M M E N S E L Y S A T I S F Y I N G.

"Guess not," She looked longingly back at her friends who were now walking away silently and somberly, her body being carried in Giles' arms. She couldn't believe how much Spike was crying...it was unnerving. "So how do I do it....you know, the moving on thing?"

J U S T L E T G O

She raised an eyebrow but did not verbally question this instruction, but rather closed her eyes and tried to Yoda away all connections that might be holding here. To just let go. She would see her Mom again, Grandma, her Aunt Mable...all those people she'd missed for so long. Her friends and Dawn would be fine. They were all gonna be okay. She'd saved them and now she could move on and be happy. She was done, complete. It was over. She smiled silently.

Death watched as she faded from sight. He looked on at the carnage around him caused by, he believed, in some rip in the dimension. Everything was a wreck. He shook his head. Earthly creatures were so darn messy.