Sly Cupid
Another Holiday Short-Story
By:
Kit-Karamak
Aka
Ken Weaver
Carmelita Fox rested her chin upon her palms, supported against a concrete banister by her elbows. She exhaled a deep breath, staring off into the distance. The Eiffel Tower reflected in her soft amber gaze, partially obscured by thick cobalt bangs. Her tail swished from left to right in idle fashion. Her wanton, hopeless sigh followed a second.
Behind her, a mahogany desk displayed more than a dozen holiday cards most of which were red or pink. A heart-shaped box of chocolates from Winthrop Weasel sat at the center of the pile. The last vestiges of sunlight dipped into the horizon, casting her feminine visage into shadow. 'Stupid holiday,' she thought with a smirk of contempt. Her brows furrowed then she leaned back from the banister.
The Inspector snatched a cup of tea from the rail and she brought the porcelain to her lips. The vixen cast a glare at the mess cluttering her desk, narrowing her eyes at it. "If Saint Valentine can get a holiday, why can't Saint Jude? After all, love is a lost cause, as far as I'm concerned." She finished the tea and placed the cup on a small plate. "And what the hell did I come to work for, today? Not one single reported crime all day? If I wanted to sit around and do paperwork from morning until night, I would have done it at home."
Her thick, bushy brush flitted in annoyance, sweeping across the floor, beneath her chair. The woman's ears lay back, half-disappearing in the sea of azure curls. Her stoic brown eyes lowered to her desk and another sigh escaped her lips. Simple romance could be celebrated any day but she had a resounding lack of it in her life. Days like Valentine's Day seemed to be nothing more than a day for florists and candy makers to get rich.
Carmelita opened a desk drawer and removed a dart. The plastic fins resembled a French Flag. She drew her paw back then flung the object at her wall. … The tip of the dart found a photograph of Sly Cooper, holding mistletoe, taken from surveillance footage on Christmas Eve. It sank into the photograph, penetrating the corkboard underneath. Her eyes narrowed again, remembering what a fool she'd been that night.
"That surveillance photograph nearly cost me my job, Criminal," she snapped, baring her teeth. The room remained silent. In the picture, Sly Cooper stood opposite of Inspector Fox, kissing her through the bars. She vowed to find out who posted the picture, so she could burry her fist in their face one day.
The frosted glass of her office door dimmed; the remaining building fell quiet. Her eyes returned to the black and white photograph on her wall, frowning. "And where are you tonight, Mister Cooper? Out wooing other girls? Perhaps flirting with the only true love you've ever known – you're cane, no? Maybe you're just as disinterested in this stupid holiday as I am."
A voice came from the window. "Maybe I was waiting for just the right time."
She whirled around in her chair, reaching for the shock pistol on her hip. Her eyes widened, feeling an empty holster at her side. The office chair rotated about until their gaze met; Carmelita found herself staring into the deep chocolate orbs of Sly Cooper. Perched on the windowsill, he held a dozen roses in his left paw and a bottle of French Wine in his right. His cane hung from the drainage spout, outside; her shock pistol sat on the window ledge, next to his feet.
"Did you know, in the year fourteen hundred, a High Court of Love was established, here in Paris, on Valentine's Day? Saint Valentine helped to arrange marriages for Roman Soldiers when wedlock was strictly forbidden. Quite the romantic guy, wouldn't you say?"
"He died a Christian Martyr," Carmelita replied, displaying her knowledge of history. "I guess old courtly love is dead. In 1969, the Church removed Saint Valentine's Day as an official holiday from its calendar. February 14th is now simply a day dedicated to Saint Cyril and Saint Methodius. Cooper, what are you doing in my window?" She folded her arms across her chest, leaning back in her chair with an angry grimace.
"Wow," Cooper said, sliding out of the window and onto his feet. He peered over her shoulder, noting all the gifts on her desk; all of them remained untouched. He followed her eyes to the shock pistol on the ledge then grinned at her. "I removed the batteries. They work so much better in your gift."
Carmelita tilted her head to the side, causing thick ringlets of sapphire to pool over her shoulder. "My gift?" Her eyes flitted from the wine to the flowers. "I don't follow."
"You will." Sly walked around her desk, to the far corner of the room. A surveillance camera swiveled at a slow pace on its wall mount. Currently, it faced her bookshelf, adjacent to the office door. Sly removed one of the dozen roses with his teeth then slid the remaining bouquet under his right arm. He bit through the stem then lifted the single rose, attaching it to the lens before it could swivel around to her desk and the window.
"What are you doing?" she quipped, placing her paws on her hips. "I can't believe you; coming into my office like this! Breaking and entering is a criminal offense!"
Sly glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled. He pivoted on his heel and approached her with the remaining eleven roses and wine. "You're here, on duty, Inspector. I've broken nothing and there's no law that expressly forbids an entry by window."
Carmelita gawked at him for a moment then announced, "You're under arrest for stealing the Clockwerk Parts from the Museum of Cairo!"
The raccoon grinned at her. "You mean the parts that melted on the asphalt, in downtown Paris? Where's your incriminating evidence?" Sly continued his approach in the form of a relaxed swagger.
"The Fire Stone of India!" she barked.
Cooper offered another dazzling smile, nearing her desk, lifting his roses and the wine in a gesture of offering. "It's in the New Delhi Museum, where it belongs. I do believe that it is part of a display concerning the history of Calcutta."
"You thieving criminal," she muttered, tightening her paws into fists. "What do you want, here?"
Cooper changed his tone, telling her, "You know, I never got to thank you for helping me fight Clockwerk. At least, I never got to say it directly. But there's one more thing I never got a chance to tell you and that is why I'm here."
"Well, get on with it," she muttered, coming around her desk. She stopped in front of him with her paws on her hips with daggers in her eyes. "Then you can leave; I'm tired of people mocking me," she told him, nodding at the photograph on the wall with a dart in the center. "And I'm tired of you mocking me with flowers on freakin' Valentine's Day. So, spit it out."
Sly glanced over at the photograph on the wall then smiled. "Now there are two things to tell you. First of all, the original surveillance footage is in my possession. That's why you didn't lose your job; no one could find the tape. You're the only one with a copy, Inspector. I put it there as a reminder of how cute you look with your eyes shut and your lips puckered."
Carmelita's jaw dropped. "You put that there? You jerk! I thought Chief Barkley posted it to remind me how close I came to losing my job!"
"You were never in danger of losing your job," Sly replied with an air of confidence. "I never got to thank you for that kiss. I was going to come by and do it again on New Years Eve, to ring in the New Year with you but…"
Carmelita finished the statement for him. "…I had been assigned a case that night and worked on New Years Eve." To her words, Sly offered a nod and a smile. She reached for the roses and took them into her arms. "Fine; I accept your Valentine's Day flowers and wine. Say what you came to say, so you can leave. Please?" She just wanted him to go; she'd had enough of Valentine's Day and she'd had enough of the gifts. She just wanted to go home and relax in a bubble bath. Now her thoughts would be full of him and, for some reason, the knowledge of that agitated her further.
Sly gave her a pleasant, confident smile, sitting the bottle of wine on her desk. "I've simply come to spread Valentine's Day cheer. Happy Valentine's Day, Carmelita." He reached his paws up, cupping either side of her face. The raccoon leaned in until his lips brushed against her own. The kiss began with tender grace and ended with a firm press of his muzzle to her own. Finally, he released her furry cheeks, offered her a wink then said, "Enjoy your gift." He turned for the window then dove through it.
She watched him snatched the cane, hanging from the drain spout then drop from sight. Her ears flickered, hearing his parasail pop open. Once more alone, she reached her right paw up to touch her lips where he'd kissed her. Her left paw drew the roses to her chest; her heart beat with wild abandon.
After a moment, the vixen reproached the window and plucked her shock pistol from the sill. She placed it back into her hip holster and shut the window. The Inspector turned back to her chair, widening her eyes. A camcorder sat on her office chair; the power pack from her shock pistol had been attached to the backside of the digital camera.
Carmelita placed the flowers on top of Winthrop's chocolates and picked up the camera. She ejected the tape, peering at the label. It read, "Love always, Sly" in red marker. Inspector Fox sank into her chair, reaching for the wine with her free paw. She shifted her weight in the seat and turned on the camera.
Using her thumb, she opened a small LCD screen on the side then pressed 'play'. Her jaw went slack and her eyes widened in surprise. 'I had no idea this footage even existed,' thought Carmelita. She gazed down at the little LCD screen in a state of complete shock. A small speaker built into the camcorder began to play the tango…
A/N: Again, I was bored and thought to post something for fun. Don't mind me! Just like A Cooper Christmas, I scribbled it down real fast; just like last time, I didn't really proof it beyond simple spelling. I'd have added a lot more romance but I'm already doing that in Spy Cooper… Besides, I like to make these short stories more like the games… Sly disorients her with a surprise kiss then bolts in a flash. Just to amuse myself.
If you don't know what she's watching on the Camcorder, I'll tell you… it's footage from their dance at Rajan's Palace. Personally, I don't think this 'episode' came out quite as well as the first one. No matter, there's always more holidays in the future! XD
-kit