Arrow - Fallout
A/N: Because, seriously, Felicity just broke my heart.
Don't tell me to fight,
To fight for you
After this long, I shouldn't have to
I know you're fine but what about the fallout?
"Ms. Smoak? ...Felicity?"
Snapping her head up as Jerry's voice finally registered, Felicity blinked at him as she tried to focus from where she had been staring blankly at her computer screen.
"Oh, yes?" From the look on Jerry's face he had been waiting for her response for a while and Felicity mentally cringed. She still wasn't use to having an assistant and Jerry had been rather accommodating to her strange hours, her ramblings, and the fact she tended to forget to give him work.
"A John Diggle is asking to speak with you," Jerry informed her and Felicity closed her eyes wearily.
If course Dige would come. She should have expected it after leaving the Foundry last night and then not returning after her talk with Oliver.
"Should I tell him to come back?"
"No, it's fine," she said softly and Jerry hesitated for a second before nodding. A minute later Dig walked into her office, scowl in place.
"I was informed you quit the team, again," he informed her and Felicity struggled to keep her emotions and facial expressions under control at his tone, equally chiding and confused. "I thought you were done with that."
"Women's prerogative," she told him before coughing as the words stuck.
It hasn't even been a full 24 hours since Oliver had returned from the dead and she was still trying to wrap her head around it all. After leaving Oliver in the alley outside Verdant, she had gone home. She had expected to cry, but she had been - was still- too angry at him so she hadn't been able to do anything except break some of her favorites dishes. Even now she was still mad enough that she had spent the morning trying not to scream at the injustice of it all and barely working.
"Oliver...we," Dig amended as Felicity flinched, "we're going to need you now more than ever. You know Ra's will be coming to Starling. We can't protect the city without you."
"I don't know. Oliver seems to have it all figured out. What's difficult to plan about stabbing a monster with a sword?" Felicity bit off, grabbing onto her arm chairs hard enough to make her hands go white.
"I know you don't like the idea of Merlyn – " Diggle started to say only to cut himself off in the look Felicity sent his way.
"It's more than not liking. I HATE it," she told him, finally pushing herself to her feet. She couldn't keep herself still anymore as she glared at Diggle. The heat in her glare wasn't towards him, but towards their situation and she could see the compassion and understanding in his eyes as he watched her pace.
"Malcolm Merlyn is the reason why Oliver is the way he is! Regardless of what happened on that God-forsaken island, Oliver ended up there because of him. He nearly destroyed Starling City and killed his own son! And then he had the balls to brainwash Thea into some type of killer, killed Sara, and it's like it doesn't even matter!"
She was yelling, could hear the panic and frustration in her voice and the rational pat of her brain wondered if her office was the best place to have this conversation, but she didn't care.
"How could Oliver just ignore all that?" she cried, starring at Dig until he blurred as the tears finally fell. Covering her face, embarrassed and just so exhausted, she shook as Dig wrapped his arms around her, letting her cry into his chest.
"It's all my fault," she gasped, fisting her hands into his jacket.
"Felicity -"
"I told Oliver the only way this would end was if he killed Ra's," Felicity interrupted, choking on the words. She had hated saying them when she had told Oliver, hated the truth reflected in his eyes confirming her fears that the only way out of the mess Merlyn had gotten them in was with Ra's al Ghul's death. "I knew if he left Ra's alive, the League would come back to Starling to find Sara's true killer. Now he's gone to Merlyn to find a way to kill a monster, but I can't approve. He's going to make Oliver into a killer again, and I can't watch that happen."
"He's going to need you now more than ever," Diggle countered and Felicity sighed. Closing her eyes, she finally let the tears and anger go and when she stepped back, she was calm and more importantly, she was done.
"I can't do it," she told Dig, shaking her head. "I can't keep trying to show him that there are other ways just to watch him fall back into the darkness."
I love him.
The words stuck in her throat, unspoken, but so desperate to get out. She had imagined saying them so many times in so many different dreams, but now they were a hollow ache in her chest because she would never be able to tell them to the one they were meant for.
"He has you, and Roy, and now even Laurel. Oliver doesn't need me anymore."
"I think Oliver Queen will always need you," Dig told her, but she could see he wouldn't push anymore.
"Oliver Queen died a month ago," Felicity whispered, a partial truth in her words that made a fresh tear fall. Sniffing, she wiped it away patiently before staring at Dig.
"The Arrow is all that's left, and he doesn't need me to save this city."
A/N: Seriously, my heart died last night watching Felicity walk away from Oliver. After two months of waiting for our Olicity reunion, we get THAT? What the hell… there better be reparations by the end of the season!
Disclaimer: Arrow belongs to DC Comics and the CW. Lyrics to Marianas Trench