"Nii-san.." Alphonse whispered, his voiced full of grief, as he stared at the open casket before him.
There he was; Edward Elric. His brother. The person who meant everything to him, the only family he had left. But not anymore.
He was gone; and he wasn't coming back.
"Nii-san.." His voice had crumbled slightly at the end of the sentence, as he stared hopelessly at his brother's golden blond hair. Ed looked so peaceful, now that he was away from all the stress, all the blood..everything. He was with their mom now.. Up above.
Al reached out, with his cold metal hand. His lifeless fingertips brushed gently against his brother's cheek.
But he could feel nothing; only the numbing sensation and nothing more. The painful realization dawned on him, as he solemnly retreated his metal hand back. He could feel his words get caught within his mouth, as he choked out, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
No problem Al. He had expected his brother to reply. But when the silence came, it was only a reminder that he had failed. Suddenly, everything lost it's meaning. Even life, something he should have been grateful for. But Alphonse couldn't be, not when Edward was gone. In fact, even if he did regain his body back..
What was the point?
It didn't matter if Edward wasn't here. Nothing mattered.
Alphonse let out another choked cry, as he continued to stare at the casket. However, he stood back, watching as Roy Mustang took his turn; mumbling few words to the Full Metal Alchemist. He too, had that solemn glaze in his eyes--full of depression and torment. Al almost wanted to laugh, wondering what his Nii-san would say if he saw his Colonel like this. The thought dug up even more memories, of how Mustang would always tease and taunt Edward about his height. His Nii-san was easily provoked, his temper would set off abruptly..
Soon, the memories rushed through his mind; the only remains of his brother he had left.
"Al, all this time I've been afraid to ask you.." There was a pained expression on the alchemist's face, "Do you..Do you hate me? Since it's all my fault for putting you inside that body!"
Alphonse could never hate his brother. He just couldn't. Ed had always beaten himself up on what happened on that night; the day they had performed human transmutation. But it wasn't his fault, Al was to blame just as much. They should've known the consequences. Instead, they learned it the hard way.
"I promise I'll get your body back, Nii-san."
Alphonse Elric had never felt this lonely in his life--even when his mother died, he had always had Edward. His Nii-san.
"I-I'm sorry." He managed to mumble the words, his voice stricken with grief as he continued to watch various people come up and view his brother's casket. He could almost feel his voice grow sore, which signaled that he was trying to hold tears back. It was only in a matter of time before he'd have to let it out. But after a few agonizing minutes, as he waited for the liquid to slid down his face, it never happened. It finally occurred to him. He couldn't cry. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how miserable or in pain he was..
Alphonse Elric couldn't cry.
The realization was a hard slap to the face. It made him feel abnormal. He had remembered all the times that Edward had hated being called a child, hated showing weakness, but he, on the other hand..
He liked being a child. It was a time where he had been the happiest; there was his mother, his father.. and Nii-san.
Nii-san.
He clenched his metal hands, before raising it to his face. No tears, none of which could be shed. Nothing to show the world how he was really feeling--how dead he felt. How vulnerable and screwed up he really was. How much he wanted to scream, and throw a tantrum--do something besides stand lifelessly next to his brother's casket, guilt enveloping his soul. He missed them so much, it was unbearable. How could he feel so much, even though he had no flesh? No living body? Nothing made sense to him anymore. Not even alchemy; something he had relied and based his life off of. Equivalent trade--there was nothing of the sort. He had lost his mother, his father, and now, his only brother. In return, what did he gain? Absolutely nothing.
Suddenly, he noticed blond strands of hair, platinum blond strands of hair. Mourning blue eyes.
Winry.
She was dressed all in black, walking forward to see Edward. Alphonse stared, before noticing something.
She was the only one crying, weeping--sobbing so much that she was hiccuping. There was make up that was streaming down her face, as she took Edward's lifeless hands into her own, clutching them as if she were expecting him to sit up and laugh. There was no words of remorse that were spoken from her pale lips, only continuous hiccuping and sobs. Her blue eyes were completely glazed over, looking the saddest he had ever seen them.
"Winry.." He whispered, feeling the urge to step forward and comfort the girl.
Silence. Only more cries of despair and tears. Alphonse could've sworn he saw a single tear slide down the Colonel's face.
Winry..
He reached forward, entwining his lifeless hands with her warm ones. Gently, he pulled her away from his brother, knowing that staring at his angelic face would only cause more grief. The blond girl didn't protest, merely tightening the grip between their hands. Alphonse continued to stare at her.
I don't need to cry. He decided, after watching the mechanic. He had to remain strong. For Winry.
She'll cry for the both of us.