I do not own Glee, nor any of the characters. I'm going through some feels and needed some ending. Enjoy?
I need to talk to you
Now she had down it. Taking a deep breath she mumbles, "I'll be back," before exiting the library. 'You can do this. You have to do this.' Stopping in the quad, she whizzes out a breath. 'I wish I had thought to grab a cigarette.'
"Quinn, what's wrong?" Looking up, Quinn can't breathe. It was too much to handle. 'You can do this, Fabray.' Taking a deep breath, she walks into the other girls' arms. "Rachel," Quinn breathes into the shorter girls' neck. "I love you," Quinn says as she pulls away. "I need to talk to you." Looking down again, Quinn tries blinking back tears. 'Keep it together. You have to do this.' Feeling Rachel tense, Quinn looks back up; hazel connecting to brown.
"Rachel, I" Quinn falters, "I love you so much it hurts. Love shouldn't hurt." Quinn shakes her head looking down again. "I've tried opening up to you, telling you more and more. But, I just can't do it anymore, Cupcake." Wiping at her face, she regards Rachel's face.
"Quinn why does this sound like goodbye," Quinn could hear the waver in Rachel's voice; could feel the emotions. Closing her eyes, more tears leaked out, "It hurts so much to feel all these things and yet I know nothing about how you feel." Holding her hand up, Quinn watches as Rachel's face scrunches up. "I know you love me. I know you try your hardest to help me. I know you care. But I don't know if that means you love me like I love you. I can't keep playing this game, Rae." looking away Quinn swipes at her face again. 'Fuck this is hard.' Heaving a breath Quinn tries to calm the crying. "I can't be just friends with you; I love you far too much. I need to work on myself. I need to stop torturing myself. It hurts so much when I'm not with you; I just want to be with you. But when I'm with you there's this ache, a longing." Covering her face, Quinn heaves another breath. 'Just tell her. She needs to know.' Looking straight into Rachel's eyes Quinn was hit with an enormous weight. The pain radiating out from the shorter girl was unbearable. "I'm sorry if this is hurting you. But, I need to explain; I can't just walk away. I need to say goodbye, Cupcake. I love you too much for my own good. I need to say goodbye. I owe it to myself to say goodbye." Brushing a tear off Rachel's face, she wraps her arms around the smaller girl.
"Will we meet again, I promise," leaning back Quinn places a kiss to Rachel's forehead. "I love you, Rachel Berry." Pulling away, Quinn looks into Rachel's eyes. 'So much pain. You owe yourself.' Taking a deep breath and releasing it, "Goodbye, Cupcake. May we meet again." Bowing slightly Quinn backs away before completely turning around. "You fucking coward," Quinn whispers. Allowing more tears to escape, Quinn places her hand over her mouth trying desperately to hide the sobs attempting to escape. 'Don't look back. Don't look back." a running mantra through her head as she headed back up the stairs. Sitting down, Quinn plugs her headphones back in ignoring the questioning stare coming from the boy next to her. Wiping at her face, Quinn focuses back to the task at hand; ethics essay. 'You will deal with this at home. You will call Susan. You did the right thing.'
Shaking her head, Quinn closes her eyes, focusing on the music; the topic. Opening her eyes, her smile doesn't quite make it to her eyes as she looks at the kid in front of her. She wasn't saying she was okay, or anywhere near it. How could she? 'One day at a time.'