FanFiction
CASTLE
Kate Beckett & Richard Castle
Continuing Sneak Peek #6 for 4x23 "Always"
Just – GO!
If you've watched the sneak peek then you roughly know what this is about.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly... I just love them so much that I play with them a little from time to time ;)
A/N: So...I caved and watched the sneak peeks for the finale. This is the result of me watching #6 and getting way too many feels about it. This is one big SPOILER for 4x23 "Always". And I know that it's not what will happen in the episode, because then some things in the promo wouldn't really make sense, but, yeah... This is my version of the Caskett "hook-up" combined with a lot of anger, angst and hurt.
Enjoy and review (if you like) =)
- Senta
"And I love you, Kate. And if that means anything to you, if you care about me at all; just don't do this." Castle's voice breaks when he says those words. He's trying to make it all right, what he doesn't realize is that he only makes it worse.
Who does he think he is, telling me those things now? Like this is going to make it better! Kate is furious. The anger builds up in her, it gets worse with every second she looks at him.
"Just – GO!" She practically screams at him. It's just too much. The tears keep running down her heated cheeks in a constant stream before they drip down on her shirt, soaking it, leaving behind stains of the salty water.
Castle looks so hurt and angry, it breaks her even more. She looks so vulnerable and though she's screaming at him, pushing him away, all he wants to do is hug her. Wrap his arms around her fragile body, pull her to his chest to keep her together. Keep her from falling apart. Keep her safe.
Kate angrily wipes the tears off her face with the back of her palm.
"Just go" she whispers, barely audible. She's begging him to leaves her and it makes him so very angry.
"You know what? I don't have to do this any more! You -" He points a finger at her, his voice harsh, filled with his rage, "you played with my feelings for years, you lied to my face!"
The tears he's been trying to hold back well over. He walks to the door with long, determined steps, trying hard not to run. As he reaches for the handle he turns around. "You want me gone? I'm gone!" And with that he opens the door and smashes it closed behind him with too much force when he's out in the hallway.
He doesn't even make it to the elevator. The look on her face kills him. That last look before he left her standing there, in the middle of her own living room. Her arms hang loosely on her sides while the tears kept falling down from her face.
Castle leans against the wall, fists his hands around the air, digging his short fingernails into his palm so hard it leaves marks.
He gasps for air, tries to calm himself down. How did this happen? Is this the end of – No, he can't even think that. Who would he be without her? He'd turn back into that self-centered jackass he was before he met her. She changed him, made him the man he is today.
The moment her front door shut closed Kate broke. She fell backwards as her knees gave in. She fell into the soft cushions of her sofa. As soon as she hit the surface she pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them and let herself fall over to her side. She rocked back and forth, sobbing badly. This is, except for the time after her mum's murder, the worst she's ever felt.
Why does she keep pushing him away? He loves her, she loves him. This should be simple, you'd think, except it isn't.
Well, that's the problem when you never talk. You can only guess what the other one thinks or feels but you can never be sure about it.
She sits up, presses her palms against her eyes, trying to regain some focus, trying to pull herself together. At least a bit. She wipes her moistened hands over her jeans and pushes herself off the couch. Her long legs carry her to the door fast. She grabs her keys and phone from the table by the entrance and is out the door in one swift motion. She stumbles to a halt immediately.
Castle has his hands on his bended knees, his head hangs down, his whole body trembles as a result of the fact that the adrenaline he produced during their fight is leaving his system and gets less with every second. He lifts his head when he hears the door and straightens up from his crouched position when he sees her standing in the middle of the hallway. His muscles tighten and he regains some of his strength by the mere sight of her.
Kate's eyes are red and puffed from all the crying. Her eyes are still watery and they glitter but the tears have stopped falling. Castle faintly smiles at her, surprised that she would go after him.
"Kate," he breathes.
"Castle," she answers softly, taking a careful step towards him, not sure what to do. "I'm sorry," she says a little louder. "I really am. It's just that - " she pauses, searching for the right words and taking another calculated step closer to him. "It was too much. Everything that happened that day was too much for me to handle. But, like I told you, I'm almost there. And the fact that you investigated my mum's murder just adds to the list of facts I have to learn to accept and live with."
"I was just - "
" - trying to keep me safe. I know. I shouldn't have screamed at you, but now..." she starts crying again, "now you're gone too." She looks down on the floor, ashamed, feeling so small and broken.
"Open your eyes, Kate. Can't you see that I'm right here?" Frustration drips in his voice.
Just realizing that, in fact, he really is, she looks up at him, locking their eyes. "You are," she says through the tears, almost as a question but with so much relief.
He closes the distance between them, wraps his strong arms around her, just holds her. He holds onto her the way he wanted earlier, not moving at all, simply standing there and breathing, being.
Her chest heaves under her sobs. She has her face buried in Castle's neck, his face is in her locks, breathing in the scent of cherries.
Kate just lets him comfort her. Her guards are down. Her wall is down. He broke it down, with her.
Together.