The Ballad of Dean and Jo

Dean awoke to a pale light. It must be morning, he thought, rolling over and ignoring it. He'd been out too late. There'd been a hunt. It had gone well. He'd gone to the bar and closed the place down, then stumbled back to his hotel, drunk and disorderly.

Or so he thought. He tried to roll away from the light now pouring into the window, but it was coming at him from the other side, too. What the hell?

He didn't give it much thought, pulling a pillow over his head to block it out. He was starting in on the beginnings of a gnarly hangover headache.

"Dean, you can't block it out." He heard a voice. Jo's voice. His green eyes flew open and he removed the pillow from over them. He sat bolt upright in bed. The light was coming from everywhere. He couldn't see her. But he wasn't in his hotel room. Or, he was. But Sam wasn't there in the other bed. It was like a mirror image of the room.

The light, which had gone from soft yellow to extreme brightness, paled again. The room took on a rose gold hue, and he could see her, standing at the foot of his bed.

"Jo?" He asked. Nothing came out at first. He said her name again. She nodded. "But you're... you're gone. You've been gone for years." She nodded again.

"I don't have a lot of time, Dean. But I'm in a good place now. Please don't mourn for me." She took a step towards him.

Normally, Dean wouldn't be into having a ghost approach him, but this was Jo. There were so many things he wanted to say to her; in the years since she'd gone, he'd recited so many different speeches in his head. What he could have told her before she left this world. Anything he could have told her. How he'd been crude to her; how he'd acted like an asshole and hadn't realized until it was way too late; how she'd deserved more than his innuendos. He'd wished for a chance to tell her everything. And now she was standing in his room, in a halo of light, and he could think of nothing to say.

He swung his legs out of bed, and for once was thankful he'd fallen asleep in his clothes and wasn't standing in front of her in Scooby Doo boxers or something.

"Why are you here?" He asked her.

"Unfinished business." She replied. "The usual reason. Come on Dean. Don't get rusty on me. You know why ghosts come back." She smiled.

"Jo, I-" He began. She cut him off.

"I know, Dean. I know all of it."

He shook his head. "You don't, Sweetheart. You don't even know half of it."

She brought a finger up to his lips. He was surprised. Her flesh was warm, and she was tangible. Solid.

"I came back to tell you it wasn't your fault. And that I'd gladly do it again." She was silent a moment, her blonde hair reflecting the luminescense of the room. She raised her eyes to his. "But mostly, I wanted to see you. And I found a sliver of a chance tonight." She looked off into a distance he couldn't see.

"So you took it?"

"I stole the chance." She smiled.

"How?" He asked.

She turned to him and grinned dreamily. "Sometimes, the stars align."

"Why?" He looked at her quizzically. "Why come see me, of all people?"

"I couldn't go a lifetime without seeing you."

"You're assuming an awful lot, that it'll be a full lifetime before I'm dead and gone."

"I'm hoping, Dean. You deserve a long life."

Dean sighed. "Jo... You deserved a long life. You deserved so much better." He paused, then continued. He had this opportunity- he needed to use it. He may never see her face again. "You always deserved better than me. But I wished I were good enough for you. I tried so many times, but I wasn't respectful. I was just a dumb kid."

Jo smiled at that. "I know, Dean."

He shook his head. "You never saw the way I looked at you. When you weren't looking."

"I caught you once or twice. That's the way I remember you. Those looks." She reached up again and touched his face. "We can spend all the time in the world wishing things were different, Dean. But they aren't."

"You came to say goodbye."

She nodded sadly. "For now."

Dean could feel himself tearing up a little.

"I have to go, Dean. The time is slipping away."

He reached out and grasped her arm, pulling her towards him. Bending, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. As she started to disappear into the light, as her fingers slipped from his grasp, he said one thing.

"Wait for me, Jo. I'll find you again. I promise."