Once upon a time, you could be a bad guy and live to see another day.

However, old Toady boy was not accustomed to these old-timey relics of a once-primed era. Now the little mushroom was out for blood.

Toad tossed the photograph across the table to the shady penguin. "I'm looking for this man," he said in a dark tone.

The penguin took a long hard stare at the photo. "Rudimentary, my dear Toad! This is a can of Chef Boyardee!"

"If you can track him, I'd be most satisfied and I won't have to use my secret weapon."

"I say, what weapon is that?"

Toad gave the penguin a smirk. He then stood up from the table and went into the centre of the room. He snapped his stubby fingers thrice. All attention in the room was now directed towards him.

"What does this bloke want?" grumbled a Bob-Omb.

"Look like a scrub, he does!" groaned a Shy Guy.

"Get 'im outta the bar!" barked a Chain Chomp.

"Attention everyone!" shouted Toad. He then squatted and did the amazing thing. Everyone watched in pure astonishment as the swirling rainbow delicacy came into being. Toad picked it up held it out with an outstretched arm. "BEHOLD!"

Everyone screamed and ran out of the bar, save the penguin.

The penguin waddled up to Toad and observed Toad's surprise underneath his magnifying glass. "Rudimentary!"

"Thanks, I made this l'il puppy myself!" Toad was pretty proud of his honourable gesture.

"Rudimentary! I say, rudimentary!"

"Now you will help me find and make short work of this… chef… Will you not?"

"I am at your service, my boy." The penguin packed up the papers and placed them into his bag. "The name is Pennington. I am the man of the improbably large brain. I shall be your guide to whatever quests wait ahead of you."

"Excellent," Toad said as he sucked his surprise back up into the confines of his utmost Toad-ness. Now was the time for revenge.

All of a sudden, Toad yelped and his captain's quarters exploded like a supernova of intestinal distress. Sporey mushroom guts and gunk splattered all over the walls, decorating the bar in an eerie essence of fungal fluids. Pennington was covered from top to bottom in the residue, eyes wide in absolute shock.

Pennington shook off the abrupt experience and noticed a wrapper on the floor where Toad had just stood. "Chef Boyardee Mini Burrito Six-Pack…" he read. "Blimey…" It all made sense now.

The Chef had struck again.