Yao, the lovely.
His long strands of midnight hair
glow warm with sun rise.
With flesh of a golden sheen
no one could compare.
He won't notice me but please
Mr. Jones read this.
I need your help to make him mine.
-Ivan Braginsky
What does a man do in this kind of situation? A single, heterosexual man who hasn't been on a date in forever? Well, first I ask myself 'why'. For example, why would my (assumed to be) sixteen year old student want my help in wooing this year's (probable) valedictorian? Also, why did he write a poem about it and staple it to his super important essay?
I don't know much about Yao outside of what I am told. I've never had him as a student but I know he is loved by all; even Artie rants and raves about the kid. Awesome grades, recreational activities, academic awards, peer mediation, volunteer work... You name it, he's done it or is involved. The little bookworm was in every picture for student activities in yearbook for the past three years, for crying out loud!
Then here you get Braginsky, the most introverted teenager I've ever met, and that says a lot because I've been teaching teens for a couple years now. He comes to class all the time and sits at his desk like a rock. If I thought he bundled up in a lot of clothing when class began in September, I'd call his December 'uniform' an impenetrable cocoon in comparison. Back then you could at least see his face over that scarf and his hands beneath his coat. Now with the approach of winter he's turned into an abominable snowman. I don't know what his actual size is because when he comes to class he kinda barely fits through the door.
Onto the poem: wow, I would've never guessed Ivan swung that way. To be honest I thought there was nothing to be guessed about him because he shuts down before the bell for class rings. The haiku is weird for me because I was confused before about whether or not he could really even communicate in English outside of the (very) few assignments he's handed in so far this year. I gotta admit that it was well written, but awkward as hell for me to read. Also he made that 'I need your help' line a syllable too long.
Troublesome, this whole situation is troublesome. From pacing around like a nut to deep meditation, nothing is helping me work through what I should do here. I don't know much about romance between a guy and a gal. Gay romance I know even less about. Also, I'm just a teacher.
I'm no matchmaker... I'm not one of his young buddies, either. Does he have friends? I don't know since the poor kid freezes up when I call his name for attendance. If I approached some of my colleagues over Ivan they'd probably say he's a lost cause. He needs help with social interaction as a whole from what I've seen; why ask for help over a high school crush of all things?
Look, I'm not at all saying the kid is stupid or a loser or anything of that sort. I feel sorta funny about him, ya dig? It's just all of this is kind of sudden. I love to help, I really do. I mean in my own high school days I was real helpful to my friends, classmates, girls... Being friendly to the girls never really got me anywhere, but that's just life. No harm in being nice anyway, ya know?
I am questioning if it is still okay for me to be helpful in this kind of situation though. This is totally personal for both of us. I feel like this is something I could get fired over if I get involved and get caught by administration. Zwingli has got his eye on me already, plus having his little sister as a student has done nothing to help get me out from under his radar. I have a life to live, an apartment to keep, and a huge ass Appetite for me to feed (my cat's name is Appetite).
I've been working on self control in all kinds of aspects of my life: diet, exercise, and social relations. Is this a situation I need to back away from too? I haven't really felt the need to go to a therapist in a while because I don't like them. This is driving me to drink too but I'm kinda poor at the moment... I can't even afford a new video game to ease this stress!
Right now I don't even know who I am talking to about my dilemma. Of all things to ease my nerves, writing seems to do the trick. Meditation doesn't do shit for me. I don't know why I even write in this crap journal the therapist gave to me still. Organizing my thoughts on paper has always appealed to me, I suppose.
I guess I'll do another update on this (eventually) after I at least talk to Ivan. I'm not going to totally ignore him, but rather explain the issues with him wanting my help. Maybe if we talk man to man he can figure out some goals for himself besides pursuing a relationship with someone he is likely to never be with. Is Yao even gay? Doesn't matter to me, that is all.
- Al Jones, 12/13/13
mood: heroic yet apprehensive
A/N: Hello all and welcome to "Low Expectations"!
This chapter may seem a bit funny, don't worry. There probably won't be more like it unless you guys dig it. I am planning on doing 3rd person for the rest of the story. This is about Mr. Jones the English teacher, and the peculiar Ivan Braginsky. Together they go on a journey of self discovery and make a few mistakes along the way! Updates will be weekly. No specific day planned just yet, but soon enough it will be. Thank you for reading!