Notes: Hey, just wanted to try out a story idea I'd been wanting to write for a while. Lets hope it turns out OK!
TW: This chapter contains referenced transphobia and dysphoria. If these are a trigger for you, please put your comfort first.
Gender is a fuck. A piece of knowledge that nearly every trans person becomes all too familiar with. Once you start living as you. The YOU-you. The you that doesn't make you feel like a screaming prisoner in your own tortured mind. The you that can smile and laugh without the unspoken strain weighing down the joy. That you. Once you start living as that you, things change.
You just gotta ask yourself if the change is worth being you?
A question a certain Levy Mcgarden had been debating in the bathroom mirror for…what was it? An hour? Let's go with an hour.
It wasn't her birth name. Nah, her parents never would have given something as feminine and dainty as Levy. They wanted a strong son. One who could face adversity and headbutt their way through it. Levy was certainly dealing with adversity, but headbutting wasn't quite her style. Analysing and deducing the correct manner in which to erode and weaken the adversity in a way that would make it susceptible to a little nose 'boop'? Definitely more her speed. Always an articulate one she was. Got her more trouble than good in the orphanage though. Not as much as the whole gender identity issues, but still a pain.
But, that sad story is for another day. Things had turned out OK. Not like some picturesque, storybook ending where it turned out her parents were never really dead and that the magic for happiness was in her all along! No, but it was a decent ending. A good foster dad, one who was forced to make the begrudging trade of being absent to support three daughters. No, four. Can't count herself out.
And there was the true essence of where her happiness came from. Three sisters. Fortunately, this story didn't turn out like the Cinderella book she read and re-read so many times when she was younger. No wicked stepsisters. Just wonderful foster sisters.
"And here I thought Dad choose me to add some masculine energy to the family." The mascara in her eyes slightly running and blemished, Levy gave a short shake of her head. "Love him, but he made a poor choice with me."
Dad would've been there in a flash if her heard her saying that. Gildarts reaction to her coming out was picture perfect.. "So, looks like I messed up. It would seem I have another wonderful daughter." The rest of them weren't far behind. Cana cheerfully slinging an arm around her, talking about all the lessons of "girlhood" she would teach. Lucy tearfully bringing her into a hug, apologizing for never realizing. Wendy, girl who radiated naievity and innocence, was the quickest to adapt. Big bro swiftly turning to big sis.
Foster system isn't easy, but sometimes you get lucky.
"I suppose I just got to hope I keep getting lucky." And there it was. The decision made. Levy would make the choice. Become the her she always wished she could be.
Looking into the mirror, Levy lightly dabbed at the blopped mascara with a piece of tissue.
Step One of her transition: Do her mascara right.
Next Morning:
"Nah, wear ya hair up! Like a pony tail. The higher, the better. Makes her look all feminine and shit."
"I think if she let her hair down, it'd look soo pretty! Like Rosa from Brookyln Nine-Nine."
"Could you wear the bow, Levy? I spent all night making it."
Sitting in the middle of her three sisters, each one attempting to give their own brand of advice for how to look femme, was Levy.
Cana, her own hair lying hypocritically down. Although, she probably didn't care near as much as Levy about looking feminine. Lucy, bag slung over her arm, diverted her attention from arguing to occasionally smiling encouragingly towards Her twin sister wanted to make sure Levy was confident for her first day as herself. Wendy, the youngest and most innocent, held her little blue bow in hand tightly, regularly pleading with the other two for her idea. Wendy's support also came with her hoping to use Levy as her personal dress up doll at times.
"Guys, I think I'll leave it down." Standing up, Levy gave an exaggerated rush of her hands through her hair for effect. The few blue strands falling in front of her eyes reminded her of the dye job she asked Cana to do when she came out. Brown didn't suit her. Blue though? That was her.
The three sisters immediately stopped their bickering. Lucy gave a warm, glowing smile towards Levy, while also shooting back at a bragging look towards the other two.
"Oh, Levy." Still got the fresh new feeling from that name. "You're so friggen beautiful. You're gonna walk into that school, and there won't be an eye off you." Lucy gave a good-natured arm slung around Levy's shoulder. She was blissfully unaware of how stressful what she just said was for Levy.
"I'd rather not have anyone looking at me." Awkwardly slipping out of Lucy's arm, Levy headed over to the mirror that was hung upon the wall. Gazing into it, the reasons for her anxiety was too clear to her. The makeup and styling tips of her sisters helped, but couldn't undo everything. Face too hard and clunky in places. A jaw far too pronounced. Parts of her that would stand out. Make her a target.
"Listen." The voice came along with Cana appearing in the reflection of the mirror. "Ya' worried. I get that. But if any prick or bitch gives you trouble, I'll fuckin' sort 'em out. Ain't no one hurtin' my little sis. Ya' hear?" Ask any of the teachers at her school and they'll tell you what they think of Cana. A delinquent. A waster. Always starting trouble. But they never talk about how she's the best big sister Levy could ever ask for.
Twisting around, Levy tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. The dye had been causing it to frizz a bit. Levy would complain, but it honestly helped make her face look softer. Happy accidents, she guessed.
"You mean it?"
"Fuckin' course I do!" Throwing her arms into the air, Cana pulled Levy into a far rougher arm around Levy's shoulder than Lucy. Just as good-natured, though. "We're the fuckin's orphan sisters! We gotta have each other's back. And if they really piss us off, I'll set Wendy on 'em." Nodding her head towards the mentioned sister, the three elders turned upon the scene of Wendy trying on her own bow.
"Don't let that fool 'ya." A laugh emerged from the room. It was nice to let something breezy out. Helps lighten the mood.
"Cana, you said you'd watch your language around Wendy." The *Tisk Tisk* tone from Lucy. With Cana's general demeanour, Lucy took the mantle of responsible sister. She had…varying success.
"I'm watching my language. I'm watching as I say whatever the fuck I want!" A stupid grin stretched on Cana's face, obviously proud of her quip.
Lucy raised a hand to argue once more. But her face then took on an expression that said Not worth it.
"Let's just go to school already." Lucy made her way to the door, unlocking the bolt that pinned it to the wall.
"Nerd." Quickly passing Lucy out was Cana, letting out another quip as she did so. The two of them then descended into a small scale argument about what constituted a 'nerd'.
Levy waited a few moments before leaving. Wendy still needed to get her books, and the two ahead would wait at the end of the street.
Before she could call to see how Wendy was doing, a light tugging of her arm caught her attention.
"What do you need, Wendy?" Kneeling down, Levy gave the warm elder sister smile she had learned from Cana when she was younger.
"Are people mad at you?" The innocence was in Wendy's tone, but it was accompanied by another emotion. Fear.
"Why would you ask that, Wendy?"
"Because you're really scared about telling everyone you're a girl. Is something wrong?"
A sigh. A tired one, escaped Levy's body. This was a conversation she really wished she didn't need to do. Wendy was a 10 year old kid. She still didn't understand things like hate and bigotry. Why some people were treated as less because of who they are. It was a shitty, shitty thing. But Levy supposed Wendy should know.
"Nothing's wrong, Wendy. Just nerves" Bringing up a smile, Levy lightly held Wendy's hand. The kid could have another week of living in blissful ignorance. "You're big sis is going to be fine."
The words seemed to do the job, as Wendy's previously timid expression turned to a joyful smile. Leaning in, she wrapped her arms around Levy into a gentle hug. Which Levy gladly reciprocated.
"Come on. We should catch up with the others." Rising to her feet, Levy took one last look in the mirror. Today was going to be an adventure.
Just hoped it had a happy ending.