A/N: Inspired by the best icon evar that says "Harry Potter is so Emo: He listens to death cab". I love it and I wrote this ages ago. Kind of a drabble... I haven't written anything in ages! Totally cracky!

---

Harry Potter plodded down the stairs from his bedroom and into the kitchen where his uncle and cousin were inhaling their bacon and eggs. As soon as he entered the room their feeding frenzy ended abruptly when their eyes fell upon Harry.

"What's gotten into you boy? You look like a girl," Uncle vernon remarked.

"Nothing," Harry replied.

Of course, Dudley burst out laughing (and spraying eggs, might I add). "God, Harry, I knew you were weird, but I didn't think you were emo!"

Uncle Vernon could not have been more confused and looked back and forth from Dudley to Harry. "Explain y-yourself!" Vernon stuttered.

"I knew this would happen, nobody understands me," Harry said, flipping his hair up just like a horse would his tail.

"Explain yourself!" bellowed Vernon.

"Dad it's useless to ask him. Emo kids don't talk, they just cut themselves. They're practically fairies," Dudley explained.

Uncle Vernon pursed his lips and began to turn bright red. "Petunia," he said quietly, "please arrange this boy an appointment with the barber. Immediately."

"Why waste our money on him, Dad. I'll shave his head with that old razor we have in the garage."

"Good idea Dudleykins! Can't believe I didn't think of that sooner."

Harry still stood in the doorway when Dudley sprung up from his seat and barreled past him knocking him into the wall. "Piss off!" Harry yelled at him.

"Can I get something to eat?"

"Well, go help yourself, you've got two hands and two legs don't you?" Petunia said.

"No, he's probably cut them off by now," said Dudley with a sniker.

Harry walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee, black. He walked over to the table and plopped down in Dudley's spot and slowly drank the lukewarm coffee. Vernon just scowled at him while eating and Petunia tried her best not to look at Harry, but she couldn't help but take a peep and then died a little bit inside every time she saw him.

After breakfast Harry went up to his room and blasted some Death Cab. Halfway through the CD he said to himself "My myspace is really starting to suck. I mean, I ony have 5 photos of myself." So he got out the digital camera that he stole from Dudley a while ago and started snapping away at arm's length. Once he had the perfect 594 photos of himself that he wanted he put them on the computer and then turned up the contrast in Photoshop to get rid of any detail in them.

"I have the angles."

The end.