When Good Villians Go Bad
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Zelda, or anything else listed here except myself and perhaps the Censor Sorceror and the Elvish Piper (as a villain). If I did, I would be busy making the next game, with a gallon of coffee next to me, and an insane smile on my face. Oh, wait, that's me right now.
*********
Chapter 1
*********
At a random bar in a random world . . . .
Sephiroth: God, why do the good guys always have to win? All I wanted was something so simple, like destroying the world, and no one lets me.
Kefka: I know, there is no way those geeks at squaresoft are gonna let us win for once. We'll always be at the bottom of the ladder.
Ganondorf: However, we must understand that we make the story go around, and if we weren't there, the story would have collapsed upon itself. And if we do destroy the world, then the story would end right there. We are all caught in a continuing vortex of lost battles and failed plans.
Everyone stares at him.
Ganondorf: I mean, I wished they'd let us win.
Ultimecia: Hey, why don't we join forces?
Sephiroth: What?
Ultimecia: Well, if we are all on the same side, then we can create one super-powerful team to destroy the world! Or at leased conquer it.
Ganondorf: But do we have enough power to do that?
Ultimecia: Hey, we can ask other villains to help us!
Kefka: Great idea! **does his annoying laugh** Huahahahahaha!!!
Ultimecia: So, to this day forth, we shall be known as the Society of the Villain's Revenge!
Sephiroth: Why?
Ultimecia: Because we are going to get revenge on all those goody-goodies who beat us in the first place!
Sephiroth: Oh.
* * * * * * * * *
Now, we join our little society at the Villain's Auditions, were a line of villains are awaiting there chance to join the society.
Ganondorf: Ok now, what are your abilities?
King Dedede: I can hit things with a hammer!
Ganondorf: And yet you are constantly beaten by a marshmallow? Next!
Sephiroth: And what are your skills?
Starman DX: I have mystical psycic alien robotic powers!
Sephiroth: Great, we'll be in touch.
Kefka: What powers do you have?
Pikachu: Pika Pika!
Kefka: Good God! **casts Ultima**
Pikachu: Pika! **dies**
Suddenly, a huge bouquet of roses is thrown at Kefka. Screaming people cheer as Pikachu lies dead before them. A choir is sing "Hallelujah!". Then everything dies down as the audition resumes.
Ultimecia: And what are you?
Andross: I AM A GIANT HEAD!!!!!
Ultimecia: Gee, that is so good. **casts Shockwave Pulsar**
Andross: THAT DIDN'T KILL ME!!!!!
Ultimecia: Well then . . . . **presses a button**
Andross: WHAT IS THAT?!!!!! **gets blasted by Arwing lasers** **dies**
Ganondorf: What can you do?
Elvish Piper: I can summon huge monsters!!! From Magic: The Gathering!!!
Ganondorf: Hey, I remember you! You were the one who beat me at the Summoners/Monsters/Trainers Tournament!
Elvish Piper: Yeah!!! I'm a better villian than you!!!
Ganondorf: Come over here! **chases the Elvish Piper**
Ultimecia: Hey, G-dorf, if he can beat you, then he deserves to join.
Ganondorf: **grumbles**
Sephiroth: And what do you do?
Bowser: I'm a big turtle/dinosaur that can blow fire!
Sephiroth: All of us here can use fire. What is your resume?
Bowser: I starred in many Mario games, and I even made it to Super Smash Bros. Melee!
Ganondorf: Hey, I did too!
Sephiroth: Well, Pikachu was in it too, and look what happened to that stupid rat.
Ganondorf: Well, we'll let you be on the reserve.
Bowser: **grumbles**
Kefka: And who are you?
Seifer: I'm Seifer, and I'm here to get revenge on puberty boy and chickenwuss!
Kefka: I like your spunk. You're hired!
Ultimecia: And who might you be?
Magus: I'm Magus, a dark wizard. Actually, I'm not suppose to be here. I'm really a good guy, and I'm only here to spy on you villains.
Ultimecia: That's great, but what can you do?
Magus: **casts Dark Matter**
The whole room blows up.
Ultimecia: **coughs** Good job! You're the only decent person so far today! You made it!
Magus: I already told you, I'm a good guy, not a villain.
Ultimecia: Yeah, sure . . . .
Magus: That's it! I quit! **leaves**
* * * * * * * *
At the end of the day . . . .
Ultimecia: Gee, what a waste of a good day. An entire roomful of villains, and the only ones we got are them. **Gestures at the Elvish Piper, Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin**
Kefka: I wonder if this plan will ever work out.
Sephiroth: This stinks. My plan to use METEOR to destroy the planet was better.
Ganondorf: If only we had some sort of secret weapon to use against our foes.
Mysterious voice: Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Ganondorf: What?
Mysterious voice: Here is my resume. **hands a sheet of paper to the villains**
Ultimecia: Well, if this is true, then you can be a really good ally to us!
Mysterious voice: Yes, for my name is, Censor Sorceror!
* * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, at the quiet building of Trabia Garden, we see some nameless SeeDs who are not important to this story.
Nameless SeeD#1: I'm bored.
Nameless SeeD#2: I'm bored too.
Suddenly, a huge craft appeared out in the sky.
Ultimecia: It is so nice that the Elvish Piper lent us his Predator Flagship to help us destroy the world.
Nameless SeeD#1: **screams**
Nameless SeeD#2: **screams**
Nameless SeeD#3: Call for backup!
Kefka: Huahahaha! Let's bring out our secret weapon!
A man wearing a gray business suit and carrying a briefcase walks out of the craft.
Censor Sorceror: I am the Censor Sorceror! I am invincible!
A bunch of SeeDs run out to attack him.
Censor Sorceror: You are all useless before my eyes! You cannot defeat me!
A SeeD tries to slice him with a sword. The sword's blade bounces off of him, for it is made of rubber.
Nameless SeeD#4: What the?!!
Another SeeD tries to shoot the Censor Sorceror. The bullets bounce off of him, since they have been turned to rubber.
Nameless SeeD#5: No way!
Yet another SeeD casts Firaga on him. However, the fire turns out to be nothing more than cheap special effects.
Censor Sorceror: I can destroy you all! I have the power to nullify all attacks into useless ones! I can turn bullet into marshmallows, swords into rubber, and magic spells into cheap special effects! Hahahahaha!
Nameless SeeD#3: Can anyone beat this man?
***************
End of Chapter 1
***************
So, can anyone beat the Censor Sorceror? Find out on the next chapter of When Good Villains Go Bad!
Please review! The society is not final, and you can vote for even more villains to join the group. PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Zelda, or anything else listed here except myself and perhaps the Censor Sorceror and the Elvish Piper (as a villain). If I did, I would be busy making the next game, with a gallon of coffee next to me, and an insane smile on my face. Oh, wait, that's me right now.
*********
Chapter 1
*********
At a random bar in a random world . . . .
Sephiroth: God, why do the good guys always have to win? All I wanted was something so simple, like destroying the world, and no one lets me.
Kefka: I know, there is no way those geeks at squaresoft are gonna let us win for once. We'll always be at the bottom of the ladder.
Ganondorf: However, we must understand that we make the story go around, and if we weren't there, the story would have collapsed upon itself. And if we do destroy the world, then the story would end right there. We are all caught in a continuing vortex of lost battles and failed plans.
Everyone stares at him.
Ganondorf: I mean, I wished they'd let us win.
Ultimecia: Hey, why don't we join forces?
Sephiroth: What?
Ultimecia: Well, if we are all on the same side, then we can create one super-powerful team to destroy the world! Or at leased conquer it.
Ganondorf: But do we have enough power to do that?
Ultimecia: Hey, we can ask other villains to help us!
Kefka: Great idea! **does his annoying laugh** Huahahahahaha!!!
Ultimecia: So, to this day forth, we shall be known as the Society of the Villain's Revenge!
Sephiroth: Why?
Ultimecia: Because we are going to get revenge on all those goody-goodies who beat us in the first place!
Sephiroth: Oh.
* * * * * * * * *
Now, we join our little society at the Villain's Auditions, were a line of villains are awaiting there chance to join the society.
Ganondorf: Ok now, what are your abilities?
King Dedede: I can hit things with a hammer!
Ganondorf: And yet you are constantly beaten by a marshmallow? Next!
Sephiroth: And what are your skills?
Starman DX: I have mystical psycic alien robotic powers!
Sephiroth: Great, we'll be in touch.
Kefka: What powers do you have?
Pikachu: Pika Pika!
Kefka: Good God! **casts Ultima**
Pikachu: Pika! **dies**
Suddenly, a huge bouquet of roses is thrown at Kefka. Screaming people cheer as Pikachu lies dead before them. A choir is sing "Hallelujah!". Then everything dies down as the audition resumes.
Ultimecia: And what are you?
Andross: I AM A GIANT HEAD!!!!!
Ultimecia: Gee, that is so good. **casts Shockwave Pulsar**
Andross: THAT DIDN'T KILL ME!!!!!
Ultimecia: Well then . . . . **presses a button**
Andross: WHAT IS THAT?!!!!! **gets blasted by Arwing lasers** **dies**
Ganondorf: What can you do?
Elvish Piper: I can summon huge monsters!!! From Magic: The Gathering!!!
Ganondorf: Hey, I remember you! You were the one who beat me at the Summoners/Monsters/Trainers Tournament!
Elvish Piper: Yeah!!! I'm a better villian than you!!!
Ganondorf: Come over here! **chases the Elvish Piper**
Ultimecia: Hey, G-dorf, if he can beat you, then he deserves to join.
Ganondorf: **grumbles**
Sephiroth: And what do you do?
Bowser: I'm a big turtle/dinosaur that can blow fire!
Sephiroth: All of us here can use fire. What is your resume?
Bowser: I starred in many Mario games, and I even made it to Super Smash Bros. Melee!
Ganondorf: Hey, I did too!
Sephiroth: Well, Pikachu was in it too, and look what happened to that stupid rat.
Ganondorf: Well, we'll let you be on the reserve.
Bowser: **grumbles**
Kefka: And who are you?
Seifer: I'm Seifer, and I'm here to get revenge on puberty boy and chickenwuss!
Kefka: I like your spunk. You're hired!
Ultimecia: And who might you be?
Magus: I'm Magus, a dark wizard. Actually, I'm not suppose to be here. I'm really a good guy, and I'm only here to spy on you villains.
Ultimecia: That's great, but what can you do?
Magus: **casts Dark Matter**
The whole room blows up.
Ultimecia: **coughs** Good job! You're the only decent person so far today! You made it!
Magus: I already told you, I'm a good guy, not a villain.
Ultimecia: Yeah, sure . . . .
Magus: That's it! I quit! **leaves**
* * * * * * * *
At the end of the day . . . .
Ultimecia: Gee, what a waste of a good day. An entire roomful of villains, and the only ones we got are them. **Gestures at the Elvish Piper, Seifer, Fujin, and Raijin**
Kefka: I wonder if this plan will ever work out.
Sephiroth: This stinks. My plan to use METEOR to destroy the planet was better.
Ganondorf: If only we had some sort of secret weapon to use against our foes.
Mysterious voice: Perhaps I can be of assistance.
Ganondorf: What?
Mysterious voice: Here is my resume. **hands a sheet of paper to the villains**
Ultimecia: Well, if this is true, then you can be a really good ally to us!
Mysterious voice: Yes, for my name is, Censor Sorceror!
* * * * * * * *
Meanwhile, at the quiet building of Trabia Garden, we see some nameless SeeDs who are not important to this story.
Nameless SeeD#1: I'm bored.
Nameless SeeD#2: I'm bored too.
Suddenly, a huge craft appeared out in the sky.
Ultimecia: It is so nice that the Elvish Piper lent us his Predator Flagship to help us destroy the world.
Nameless SeeD#1: **screams**
Nameless SeeD#2: **screams**
Nameless SeeD#3: Call for backup!
Kefka: Huahahaha! Let's bring out our secret weapon!
A man wearing a gray business suit and carrying a briefcase walks out of the craft.
Censor Sorceror: I am the Censor Sorceror! I am invincible!
A bunch of SeeDs run out to attack him.
Censor Sorceror: You are all useless before my eyes! You cannot defeat me!
A SeeD tries to slice him with a sword. The sword's blade bounces off of him, for it is made of rubber.
Nameless SeeD#4: What the?!!
Another SeeD tries to shoot the Censor Sorceror. The bullets bounce off of him, since they have been turned to rubber.
Nameless SeeD#5: No way!
Yet another SeeD casts Firaga on him. However, the fire turns out to be nothing more than cheap special effects.
Censor Sorceror: I can destroy you all! I have the power to nullify all attacks into useless ones! I can turn bullet into marshmallows, swords into rubber, and magic spells into cheap special effects! Hahahahaha!
Nameless SeeD#3: Can anyone beat this man?
***************
End of Chapter 1
***************
So, can anyone beat the Censor Sorceror? Find out on the next chapter of When Good Villains Go Bad!
Please review! The society is not final, and you can vote for even more villains to join the group. PLEASE REVIEW!!!