Author's notes:
Hi, and welcome to my first Ejami story. This idea has been bugging me for a while and since the show has decided to spoil these characters with an affair, I've turned to fanfiction.
With that being said let me just add in that if you haven't, you should read all Ejami fics by LouBlue. She has the conniving, reckless, hilarious and beautiful Ejami we know and love. She's just awesome!
Just to add a few things, Sami and Rafe are not married and Will did not see EJ and Sami on the couch the night of Johnny's disappearance. That changes a few things, but I hope you will still enjoy! Alright, on with the story!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the creators and writers. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
.¸¸. ✶*¨*. ¸ .✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨'*✫
If these walls could tell tales, EJ mused as he sipped his Cognac.
He wasn't wrong. If the walls could talk, words of anger and despair would come flowing from their mouths. Words of grief and greed, manipulations and lies would seep out. They would also tell of love — his love for his children, his family and … her. It would speak of her in the same way he always had, with equal parts contempt and anger, and adoration and reverence.
He gulped now, hoping the sting of the alcohol would burn away his memories of her. He should be thinking of his fiancé, the woman he planned to marry, but she had never consumed him. Samantha always had.
Samantha Brady.
For years he had convinced himself there was nothing there. For years he convinced himself that his rage at the things she had done had morphed whatever affection he carried into hate, and so he could not possibly love her. It took him far too long to realize that the opposite of love wasn't hate, but indifference, and indifference was something he could never achieve. Even after all this time, he couldn't get her out of his head.
It was worse now in the aftermath of what they had done, for he had gotten a taste of her. Those simple moments in time had proved beyond mere certainty, beyond his own meager conviction that he was irrevocably tied to Samantha Brady and always would be.
Running his hands through his hair, EJ sighed in frustration. The night they both thought they had lost Johnny was not one he would forget soon. In the darkened corner, he heard the media report that his son was gone. Grief overwhelmed him, a firestorm of emotions burned his heart, his mind, his chest until he could not think, hell, he could barely breathe. Then there was Samantha, the only one who could understand what he was going through.
They fought …like they always fought. Unable to do anything, to change the outcome, they tried to blame each other, and then in that moment he just needed to feel her, to connect, to express the inexpressible with Samantha. For what he felt was too huge to contain — his son … his son.
Luckily Johnny was alright, but since then neither of them seemed to be. They fought, words sharper than any sword, even more than before, but then there were these moments when he was sure there was something more. A look would come into her eyes and he would feel an answering call rise inside him. He yearned for her, her touch, her kiss, her love.
He jumped, the sound of the front door closing pulled him back to the present. For a moment he cursed the fact that he didn't have more time to pull himself together before Nicki arrived. The blond that came through the door though, was not Nicole but the woman he was beginning to fear was the only woman he would ever really love.
Neither spoke, just stared at the other, masks firmly in place, but still more transparent than either was accustomed being. It was their way. The way they had always been.
EJ watched her hesitate at the door, her eyes surreptitiously cast to the couch. For a moment they flashed with some deep emotion and he straightened wondering why she was here.
His heart sped up as she crossed the room silently, her eyes finding his. Unlike every other time she didn't shy away from his gaze. Their eyes remained locked until she sat in the chair across from him.
"I promised myself … I promised you," she began haltingly and EJ leaned forward.
Taking her hand, he spoke, "Samantha, whatever it is …"
She shook her head almost violently, "No matter what happened between us, I won't do it again. This is one promise I will keep." He watched her take a deep breath as she said, "EJ, I'm pregnant."