Disclaimer: I own only my computer. Nothing else. Definitely nothing as good as the Series of Unfortunate Events. However, I do own the plot of this story. :-)

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were lounging on a hilltop near Hotel Denouement. Klaus started to speak.

"Violet, if you weren't my sibling...I'd kiss you."

Violet looked at him. "Aww...I'm blushing."

Klaus looked over at Sunny. "And, Sunny, if you were a little taller and a little older, I'd kiss you too."

Sunny looked at him. "Affair!" she screamed. Then she started jumping on him.

"Ow. I...can...see...you...don't...want...it...to...work..out..." Klaus got out, before Violet grabbed Sunny and pulled her off him.

"Listen, Sunny. I know you can't control yourself from jumping on top of him... After all, he's the good-looking one in the family..." she sighed. "But he's still our brother, and we can't like him like that."

Mr. Poe walked up. Apparently he had followed their taxi in another taxi, slowly, though, because he didn't believe in car chases.

He coughed. "I want you to know kids----that I divorced my wife." He coughed again. "And I've come here..." Cough. "To tell you all..." Cough. "That I've come to ask your sister's hand in marriage."

Klaus got up. "Sunny? She's only a little girl! You can't do this to her! Wait a minute...you like little girls? Ew."

Mr. Poe blushed. "No, no, dum dum. I mean Violet. She's the smartest one in your family and---" Cough. "---the cutest one."

Sunny shrieked "Nuh-uh!" which meant "Excuse me!"

"Oh, Mr. Poe..." Violet said. "I would be honored, but...I can't. I'm already married to Count Olaf."

Count Olaf came up the mountain. "Hey, Sweetheart, you ready to hit the road?"

She turned to him. "O'course, Honeybun! This dear Mr. Poe has proposed to me. But I told him no because you love me so. And I just can't wait---"

Sunny interrupted. "Weerdsiko!" Which meant, "Aren't you a little old for her?" And then "Uh...Violet?" which meant, "What are you doing with Count Olaf? When did you have time to get married?"

Violet laughed. "Sunny, we got married yesterday. He swept me off my feet at the hotel. Then we went to one of those 'ten-minute marriage ceremonies' thing that everyone's talking about. Esme was simply furious! I hear she got remarried to Jerome!"

Klaus looked at Sunny. "Could this be the end of the Baudelaires?"

Mr. Poe said, "Excuse me, Klaus, but I've come to ask your other sister's hand in marriage."

Klaus gaped. "What the #, Mr. Poe?"

Violet smirked. "You've sure gotta colorful vocabulary, Klaus."

Count Olaf smirked even more. "I always knew you were a curser, under all those books." Klaus glared at them.

Mr. Poe was concentrated on Sunny. "Sunny, will you accept my hand in marriage?"

Sunny said, "Pedo!" which meant, "You dirty pedophile."

Klaus looked Sunny again. "Violet married to Count Olaf. Sunny proposed to by Mr. Poe. Sunny, when you're, like, 20, will you marry me?"

"Ehshur." Which meant, "Eh, sure."

Mr. Poe ran off sobbing. "Why didn't I finish high school?"

Violet kissed Count Olaf soundly on the lips and said, "Let's blow this ice cream stand!"

"Right on."

They left, waving slightly to Klaus and Sunny. "Wait!" Klaus shouted. "What about the bad people? Are they going to burn down the hotel?"

"Nah!" Olaf shouted back. "They decided to revert to Scientology, who, apparently, aren't pyromaniacs." He shrugged.

Olaf and Violet drove off.

Sunny and Klaus decided to head back inside the hotel. "You know, Sunny, you look really, really pretty when your hair catches the sunlight like that."

5 Years Later:

"What a great family reunion!" Klaus said to Sunny. "I never knew this many people from our family survived!"

"Yeah!" Sunny agreed. "Pretty cool meeting everybody. Where are Olaf and Violet, though?"

Klaus shrugged. "I don't know." He looked at the door. "Speak of the devil."

Sunny turned to look at the door. Enter Olaf and Violet. "Heya, Klaus!" Violet said.

They walked over to them. "Hiya, Sunny!"

"Hey, Violet, Olaf." A brief nod. "You look like you've gained a little weight." Klaus winked at them.

"Yeah," Violet said. "We left the kids at home."

"What?" Klaus yelled. Sunny blinked. The music stopped. People turned. Klaus tossed a quarter at them. People dived for it.

"We're the only ones who got the fortune, it seems," Klaus told them. "Anyway."

"What kids?" Sunny asked.

"Uh, you know...Susy, Sarah, Samantha, Shelly, and Samuel."

"No, we don't know!"

"Oh, right...sorry, we got out of touch, I guess."

"Yeah..."

"Anyway."

"Want to see pictures?" Olaf asked them eagerly.

"...sure." For an hour they looked over many, many pictures. Despite how Olaf looked, it seemed like good-looking genes had gone to the kids.

Suddenly Mr. Poe swang in on a vine. "Remember Violet...you were MINE! And you too, Sunnnnny!" He swang out.

They blinked. "Okay, then." Klaus then walked up to the karaoke machine. He took the mike and walked up on the stage.

"This is for you, Sunny!" Music started. Klaus sang "Hound Dog" by Elvis. Badly. Very badly.

He got off the stage to applause. (After all, he was getting off the stage.) Sunny hugged him. "That's my favorite song!"

Olaf and Violet looked at eachother.

Mr. Poe swang in again on a vine. This time he was only in a loincloth. Olaf covered Violet's eyes.

Klaus yelled, "That's not a sight the world is ready for yet, you weirdo!"

Sunny buried her head in Klaus' chest to escape the horror.

Mr. Poe yelled, "You're the weirdo!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!" His hands started slipping from the vine.

"You!" He started falling.

"Yoooo---"

And he landed in the giant jelly that was bought for the reunion. Not pretty.

Klaus said, "Uh...you wanna leave now?"

"Sure," said Violet. "Let's get some ice cream. I'm absolutely starving."

A/N: Review, please. :-)

Oh, and this is just a joke sort of story. My sister started it up with the whole "If you weren't my sibling" thing that Klaus said. Weird.