A/N: Randomly decided to write this boring piece because of the severe lack of Lala here. You'd think the best character would have a lot more stories, but...

CAN WE GET SOME MOAR LALA LOVE PLEZ I MEAN CMON SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CHARACTER SLOT.

Sorry. I don't own anything.

Beep Beep Beep

Kimihito slapped the top of his alarm clock in an effort to stop the dreadful noise. It was 6:00 in the morning and without arguing with himself, he rolled out of bed. Putting on a decent pair of clothes and brushing his teeth, he lazily stalked into the hallway towards the kitchen. The main living areas were dark and empty as usual this early in the morning; the girls generally woke up anywhere between seven and ten, with a few exceptions here and there. It was also Saturday and he had nothing planned, so he needed to prepare for a full day with his housemates.

"Hm… I wonder what I should make for breakfast," he spoke to himself as he opened the refrigerator door.

…

"GAAAH!"

Kimihito fell back on the floor in surprise. Looking up, he found none other than Lala's head staring back at him from inside the fridge.

"I-I-I am t-the h-harbinger of d-death… F-Fear me…as y-you would f-fear d-death itself…"

The man shook his head trying to calm his beating heart. Seeing Lala's disembodied head in the refrigerator was not what he expected to wake up to.

"L-Lala! What on Earth are you doing in there!?"

The dullahan looked down at her host almost graciously, but did her best to hide it. Her ears and cheeks were beet red, and she couldn't stop her teeth from chattering. "T-There is n-no condition in w-which death d-does not exist, f-f-for I am n-no different!"

Kimihito rose from the ground and dusted his pants off. He looked back at his monster friend situated on the second shelf, perfectly eye level with him. He scratched his head awkwardly, "So uh… Where's your body?"

Lala looked to the side to avoid his gaze. Her face was practically purple, and Kimihito had a strange feeling it wasn't just because of the cold. Either way, she didn't seem like giving him an answer. "Well regardless, you must be freezing! You weren't in here all night, were you?"

"I was, b-but it m-matters not. Like d-death itself, I am… Achoo!"

Kimihito shook his head again, this time in disapproval. He reached in and gently grabbed Lala despite the embarrassed grimace on her face. Curling her head in his arm, he shut the fridge door, "See, you probably got a cold from that. What were you doing in there anyway? This better not've been one of Papi or Suu's tricks…"

It was hard for Lala to keep her stoic expression since her master's body was so warm. Feeling the numbness starting to fade, she resisted the urge to fall asleep and managed to speak. "It w-was no trick, mortal. I put myself up to the task."

Kimihito frowned at her words. He walked towards the dimly lit living room and sat down on the couch with her bodiless head on his lap. He figured now would be a good a time as ever to talk with her, seeing as how he rarely got the chance. Sure, the scene with them on the couch would surely start rumors if anyone saw them, but Kimihito didn't care. He went out of his way to spend time with each of the other girls, but not so much Lala.

Maybe he'd be able to read her better? She was quite strange, after all.

"You're saying you put yourself in there on purpose?" She nodded her head, which he noted was more of a roll. "How come, Lala? Is it too hot in here?"

He saw the corners of her mouth curve upwards for a split second before returning to their usual frown. 'Did she just smile? I'm obviously missing something here… But what?'

"—me weak…"

Kimihito blinked, "What was that?"

She sneezed and he offered her a tissue as an angry blush came over her cheeks, "Do not think I repeat myself to just anyone, mortal. I said…" she paused and took a deep breath, an action Kimihito found hard to tell because of her missing body. "You're making me weak."

'I'm making her weak? What did that mean?' Kimihito thought to himself, completely perplexed. Then, in the deep, dark corner of his mind, thoughts that he'd been ignoring ever since he became a host sprouted forth. 'Oh no… I hope she doesn't mean weak as in…that weak.'

The slightly perverted thoughts confused him. Lala was the only girl who had never done anything forward with him. Well, save for her reaction to Rachnera's ministrations when they first met. And yes, he remembered that vividly. He swallowed hard.

"I'm…making you weak?"

"Yes. I fear my body is reacting, er…" Her face turned purple again, and Kimihito thought it must have been a new record for Lala blushing. Not like he was innocent either. "What I mean to say is, staying here with you…under your vision… Well, I've got to keep my wits about me. Death does not grow old and sluggish, and therefore neither can I."

It finally seemed to click for him, "Oh, I get it. You think living here is making you soft? And that you've got to keep yourself trained as a dullahan or something?"

She turned her head in his lap to look up at him, her eyes as yellow as lightning and fierce as thunder, "I am no mere dullahan, mortal. I am the dullahan! Death incarnate! I shall—"

"I understand your determination," Kimihito softly interrupted, "but you're just Lala to me." The drow-like woman's eyes widened. "And it's my job to take care of you. So no more sticking your head in the fridge, all right?"

The doom bringer pouted in the man's lap. What was she to do? It wasn't like she could just walk away. She had to sit and listen to his heartfelt words which were playing with her emotions. She was the deliverer of death for goodness' sake! His death!

'But you're just Lala to me.'

She thought about what he said and felt her blush heat up even further, as if she was in the fiery pits of hell itself. A great dullahan like herself couldn't stoop to the levels of her housemates. She wouldn't! Sure she found Kimihito Kurusu quite endearing in life, but her focus was the end of life. Deep down something told her to loosen her grip a little and it scared her.

"B-But I must conquer every challenge imaginable! I am not fit to live among mere mortals!"

He furrowed his eyebrows at her, "You're not leaving, Lala."

"Yes, I cannot leave until your death, but—"

"Look," he lifted her head an arm's length away from his own and locked eyes on hers. "I'll certainly leave my death to you. But on an average Saturday like today, I don't think I'm in any danger. While I don't admit that I understand your duty, I respect it. So when I'm not dying, do me a favor and stop being so stubborn. You're too serious. Just relax."

Defying his request, she remained willfully silent. The fact of the matter was she had no idea what to say. His kind eyes bore holes into her own and she couldn't look away. Lala was finally beginning to realize why the other girls acted the way they did towards him.

'But I am not one of them,' she told herself. Why couldn't he just leave her alone? Why did he have to…engage with her?

He picked up on her obstinacy real quick, "Lala? Please, for me?"

"I…" Her ahoge drooped in defeat, "Peradventure…I can grant such a freedom within your lifetime. Besides, I shall admit I was not looking forward to my next tribulation."

"What did you plan to do next, dare I ask?"

"A dullahan must be able to withstand even the most vile culinary creations, edible or not."

Kimihito returned her to his lap and leaned back, "You don't mean… Miia's cooking?"

"Yes."

"But I've seen you uh…down it before. Didn't you get food poisoning?"

The head somehow swiveled away from his gaze, "That is why I must train my palette! What is poison to death itself? I am the poison! Besides…" Lala looked back at him with friendlier expression. "I do not taste such things that are poured down my throat, mind you. My taste buds are needed for that."

"Ah… I see."

A silence took over them, save for a few of Lala's sneezes, and Kimihito absentmindedly peered at the clock. 6:42; Centorea was likely to wake up soon. Looking down at Lala, he smiled. She didn't seem to mind sitting here with him, or on him. Not that she was really sitting to begin with. He had to admit she looked pleasantly calm. "Well, what say we go find your body? You're probably still not feeling too well."

Before Kimihito could stand up with Lala's head, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind the couch.

"Huh?"

Lala blushed furiously, "N-No!"

Kimihito looked up to see the newcomer's face, but was surprised not to see one at all. The gloved arms slithered along his chest and he could feel something soft press up against the back of his head.

'Oh boy… Is that Lala's body? Relax, Kimihito. Deep breaths…'

He peered down at Lala's head expectantly, only to see her looking away in humiliation.

"Um… Lala? What are you—"

"F-Forgive me, mortal! I cannot control my body's urges! Please, d-don't encourage it!"

Lala seethed at her body as though it had a mind of its own, 'Stop this, you fool! I am the herald of passing! I mustn't fall victim to lust!'

"Y-You mean you really don't have control of—Woah!" he nearly jumped through the ceiling has a hand grazed over his crotch. Kimihito realized he was being groped all over by the woman's body, and Lala was apparently helpless in stopping it. Every spot it touched on the man turned hot.

'Is this another one of her powers? Heat inducing sensory? Or is that just me?'

While he wouldn't admit that he liked it, this was crazy and had to stop. He knew Lala's body was more genuine in expressing her feelings…but this?

'Lala might not be in control… But it is her body, right?' Kimihito raised one of his hands to stop her.

"Aaahh!"

Without being able to see, he accidently grasped one of her breasts. "Eh?!" His hand shot back to her head, but he immediately felt something warm and wet on his fingers.

"L-Lala!?"

'Not again…'

He tried to pull his fingers from her mouth, but the dullahan's tongue was like a snake, skillfully weaving its way around his appendages. His pants tightened where her head lay in his lap and he cursed himself. A low moan from Lala told him that she had noticed.

"M-Mortal… You're…so warm. So far from death…"

The bulge in his pants rubbed against Lala's cheek, nearly making her nauseous. Before Kimihito knew it, her body was seated next to him on the couch and practically smothering him. Her hands dug under his shirt and roamed his chest, but all he could do was sit in shock. Usually it was Miia who did the molesting, not Lala.

"Haahhh…"

"L-Lala, you need to calm down! What's…hah…gotten into you?!"

Finally, her body grabbed her head and lifted it up mere inches from his face. Panting with an aroused blush, she spoke to him, "M-Maybe you were right… About not being so stubborn…all the time." Her forehead pushed against his and he melted further into the couch. There was nothing he could do to escape besides overpowering her, and he didn't want any accidents. Kimihito was silently praying the others were still fast asleep.

Lala's voice was low and sultry as she spoke, and Kimihito questioned whether she was fully aware of herself. "Ruler of this house, won't you ease my dark burden…?"

"W-W-What do you mean?!" he stammered, hoping she wasn't implying what he thought she was.

"We may be together from death and on, but perhaps our fate begins here in life." With their foreheads pressed together, he could feel her breath on his lips with every word. Her body was now straddling him on the couch and had reconnected itself to her head. "Besides, not even death can do us apart."

Kimihito didn't have time to respond as her soft, blue lips landed on his in a chaste kiss. For better or for worse, it was short. As he remained frozen in his spot on the couch, he watched Lala slowing pull away. Then, with a swish of her scarf and a flick of her cowlick, she was gone.

…

'What… What just happened? I guess it's my fault for giving her advice… I didn't think she'd take it so literally!'

"Ohhhh… Darling!"

"Master!"

"Good morning, Honey."

Not a second too early, the others filed in to start their day, and Kimihito let out the breath he'd been holding. He wondered what his next confrontation with Lala would be like. Regardless, he hoped it would be here and not in the field of flowers.

Thanks for reading. Sorry but I suck at thinking of plots.