She didn't care about the so-called 'evil.' She didn't care if people thought she was one of those 'evil' people. She didn't care. The only things she possibly could care about were her family and friends. Even then, caring for them hadn't been much. Just rushing over to their side when they needed it. Caring only created feeling and feeling caused pain. The trembling pain and fear is more than she could take, so she bottled it up and left it there. She still worked for her marks, but only so that she could actually live. She still cared about living.
Her life was always judged and overshadowed by those of her cousins, brothers, pretty much all of her family. She became almost as soulless as if she'd had a Dementor's Kiss. No longer was that caring, nicest-person-in-the-world, always-smiling girl that took place of her childhood. It was instead replaced by a soulless, cold-hearted, never-smiling-or-caring, girl that never gave a damn about anyone or anything. Bottled up was her feelings that only the most courageous dared pry open. Her feelings deep beneath the magma that lives beneath a dormant volcano that is her.
Everyone expected cute, little, Lily Luna Potter to live up to her namesake and name. She wasn't elegant, or graceful as a water lily. She wasn't as smart, clever, or as courageous as the first Lily Potter. She wasn't as odd, or happy as Luna Scamander is. She wasn't as courageous, or stubborn as a Potter should be. She no longer was that. Her volcano is dormant, her feelings buried, her family worried, she has left everyone wrong.
Lily Luna Potter was her own person. Not 'The Chosen One's Daughter,' not 'The Girl Who is Just Like Her Namesakes,' no - not any of that. She was her own person. She made others jealous of her abilities with one glance. She made boys head-over-heels in love with her, yet rejecting it all. But here you see, the brown of her eyes are dull and without color. Her red hair, magicked black to show her lifeless soul. Her clothes, a dull black, trying to cover up any splashes of color that made her full of life.
He cared about everything. He cared about how others felt, how good his marks were, how society thought of him. More than anything, he cared about the sad, the ones who reflected soulless and lifeless beings. He cared about Lily. He wanted to fix her, make her feel again. But alas, she was near unfixable. Near. That didn't stop him from anything. He put all the fears, all of the pain aside. She would never, not ever, feel what it's like to lose love. She didn't know that. He was an ocean, feelings filling him to the brim. He was colorful. She would feel if it was the last thing he did. She would feel before hell froze over.
He was hopeful. Numerous occasions have occurred when the people who care about her went to him to encourage. No matter what the cost, he'd find a way to recolor her life.
She only took what she needed, not much of what she wanted. She took the future and rejected the past, the past that is the only thing that could tear her apart. The only thing to make her feel. She's devoured the pain and bitter remorse and hid it deep within her walls. She never took words for granted either. She was the literal meaning of 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words alone can't hurt me.' Her magic is at the peak of power, but she doesn't realize it. He does. He wants to make her feel like she lives up to more than her namesake. That anybody out there with the name Lily should be grateful that their name is what it is. That they should be because they were named after someone who rose ahead, but they can't right now because she feels nothing.
That's how it starts. Their fight. He, Lysander Scamander, starts to talk. And he tries, tries, tries and dives into the dormant volcano hoping to break anew. "Lily? Are you OK? Your family is really worried, you know."
"Go away Ly. Tell them that I'm fine." She says, hoping, oh, hoping that he'll leave.
"C'mon. I'll leave when you're alright. I know you're lying. Lily, you know it too. Speak and spill. I'm willing to listen." Moments pass in awkward silence until she finally speaks in a voice just under her breath.
"I'm not Lily anymore. Not the Lily Luna Potter you used to know. I'm not colorful, nor should I be. I'm alright. Just leave me alone."
"You're not. You pretend to be in perpetual bliss when you aren't. Look, how about I make a deal? If I tell you why I'm so full of emotion, will you tell me why you're not?" Lily slowly nodded her head. "I've always been afraid what others have thought of me. Mum told me that she didn't have many friends. Aunt Ginny had been her only true friend for a lot of her time at Hogwarts. Then, Aunt Ginny introduced her to Uncle Harry, Neville, Ron, and Aunt Hermione. She'd finally found friends in them. I'm just so scared that I'll be like her, alone forever. So I try my hardest to care everyone, to listen, to become the so-called 'perfect person.' But I learned that there is no perfect person. I still try my hardest, and I realize that I am loved and that people really do like me. It might be because mum was a big part of Voldemort's defeat and that dad is the great-grandson to Newt Scamander, famous for helping the capture of Grindelwald and the author of a book. But I made a name for myself and though I don't have as much pressure as you do, I surround myself with friends by being nice so that I do feel happy. Pain is welcome, but I'm strong enough to knock it down. The chains of dependence wrap around us all and make us need one another. That's how I'm always happy. Not too happy that it's annoying, but just right. As long as I say what people want, I'm welcomed." He sighed. She looked down.
She whimpered a little just before talking. Her walls near breaking already. "I wanted to find a way to reject pain. Never feel it again. It was worthless, yet most seemed to welcome it. If I hadn't felt any happiness, I wouldn't get hurt if I'm let down. I'd be unhappy, sure, but it was worth it. I let everything go. I-I-I left myself soulless and lifeless. Everyone rejected me, but I didn't care. I hadn't brought myself to care about anything to feel anything. I would never be emotionally scarred and I wouldn't get hurt. I can handle physical pain, but the emotions hurt the most." At this point, she was sobbing. The walls had broken. Her volcano spewing the emotion that was left so long ago, neglected. He put an arm around her and they sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, Lily crying into him and he comforting her. And slowly and quietly she said, "Thanks Ly. I love you."