Guilty Little Pleasure

Genres: Angst/Romance/Drama/Hurt/Comfort

A/N: Hey people! This is my first ever Cam story, so please go easy on me :) If you don't like Seddie, then just ignore it because it's only slight and the main ship on this is Cam. R&R.

Carly's POV

It took me fifteen years to know who I really was.

And when I finally found out, I never told anybody.

I was attracted to the opposite sex. I didn't think it was my fault. I couldn't help who I liked. That's how I was born, wasn't it?

When I was fifteen, I accepted the fact that I was gay. But I didn't expect anyone else to. It was my little secret.

I didn't accept it right away. Of course once I found out, I tried to change the way I was. I dated basically ever guy I could get my hands on and even kissed a few of them. I always tried my best to look the part of the girliest girl in school. Of course not all lesbians are tomboyish, but it was stereotype that I was eager to avoid.

I tried to be straight until I was seventeen. I just decided that I liked who I was and was done trying to please others. But that didn't mean I wanted anyone knowing. So I thought to myself, Yes. I am gay. So what? I am who I am. But at the same time, was coming out worth the abuse?

I didn't want to end up shunned. Hated. Picked on. Driven to suicide like most gay teens. I didn't want to be considered 'gross', or 'abnormal,' or 'sick' for liking someone who was a girl too.

So I said nothing.

I'll just keep it to myself and live my life happily until I graduate high school, possibly college, I thought. And then I'll come out to a few of my friends and maybe Spencer (If I was sure he wouldn't go ballistic).

But it didn't happen that way.

I realized I was in love with Sam when I was just a few weeks away from turning eighteen. I have been in love with her all along. But it took me this long to know. We've been best friends since age six, almost twelve years. She's always been by my side. Always knew me better than anyone else. Growing even more beautiful as the years went by. Her gold hair getting longer and curlier. Her curves growing more pronounced. She was unbelievable beautiful. So much that it astonished me that any human could be.

And she was smart. Street smart. Had her own sense of style. And she was my total opposite in personality. I always wondered why I was her best friend. We were too different. Why did I become immediate friends with her instead of someone else? Even Melanie, her twin sister should have satisfied me. Looking just like her beautiful sister, but with a softer attitude that matched mine.

But no, I only felt the butterflies in my stomach when I was with Sam. I only felt sparks around Sam. I wanted Sam Puckett and her only.

I dated a girl who I met online. In secret of course. We were both in the closet actually.

Her name was Kelsie Shores and she was the perfect distraction from my fake 'straight' life. She reminded me of Sam in looks. Yellow ringlets and shining blue eyes. A slim, curvy body. Not as perfect as Sam was. Not in the slightest. But a sure second.

We went to a Friday night club together the night that Sam discovered I was gay.

She and I were making out in the girls bathroom when Sam unexpectedly came in.

At first, she and I stared blankly at each other.

She ignored me for weeks after that. It was as if she and I were strangers. I didn't try and become friends again because I was too ashamed. I was a freak of nature in her eyes.

I broke up with Kelsie immediately after Sam ran away from the sight of us kissing that very night in the restroom. Kelsie looked frightened at how roughly I spoke to her and left quickly.

I never saw her again.

Freddie didn't know what was going on between me and Sam. But I guess Sam talked him into ignoring me too. He wouldn't even look in my direction.

I hated myself.

I was gay.

I had no friends.

I had no girlfriend.

I lost everything.

I was so young then. Just about to start college. Little did I know that Sam felt something for me to and she was only afraid to show it. Little did I know that I would get the relationship with Sam that I always wanted. Loving and peaceful. And little did I know that it was going to come with a price.

A/N: Sorry that the first chapter was kind of short, but it's supposed to be like an introduction type thing. The next chapter will be way longer. Review if you want more!