Legal Note: I do not own any of the characters associated with Pirates of the Caribbean. I do not have any legal right to use them or any other proprietary words originating from these movies. This story was done just for the fun of it. Not for profit. If you like it please tell me. If you don't like it please tell me why with particulars but not excessive detail.
Summary: Post AWE. A Mary-Sue gets in over her head. Inspired by a conversation on the Black Pearl forum between Nytd and Obiwanlivesforever.
A Drink Interrupted
The Whale Tavern on Fleet Street in Tortuga Harbor was loud and boisterous as usual. Perhaps a little more so now that the dread of the East India Trading Company had more or less passed. Word of the Battle of the Maelstrom had spread to all of the pirate communities like wild fire in dry brush. When the Black Pearl had come into port the populace of the town had poured into the streets to hail the heros of the hour. Both Jack and Hector had been toasted at every grog shop they'd entered. They had finally come to the Whale with its battered sign and smashed windows to get some relief from the press of the crowds. Here they were far from the docks and in the company of old friends. Jack and Hector stood at the plank bar in a companionable silence sipping at their rum when a young woman dressed in mens clothes sidled up and pushed between them. The two captains frowned at the unwanted intrusion.
"So you're Jack Sparrow," the young woman said with a lascivious smile.
"That's Captain Jack Sparrow," Jack corrected. He took a look at her and frowned even deeper. She was a little less than average height for a woman and not unattractive but there was something decidedly odd about her appearance. She was little more than a girl. The faded gray frock coat and leather hat were not really strange but her hair was done up in dread locks with beads and a bone woven into them. The young woman's eyes had been kohled heavily and not well. A very odd look for a girl indeed. Jack leaned back to look questioningly at Hector who was staring at the girl as if she were something he would scrape off his boot if he'd stepped in it.
"Captain. Of course, mate," said the girl. She leaned closer to Jack and took the mug from his fingers before he could stop her. She sloshed back a mouthful and nearly gagged on the burning liquid. "That's good rum. Buy me one?"
"Why?" Jack asked looking into his mug.
"Don't be silly." She leaned in again suggestively. "You know you want to buy me a drink."
"I do?" Jack looked over at Barbossa who was now looking at him with an amused glint in his yellowed eyes and a smirk on his scarred face. "An' why would I want to buy you a mug o' rum, lass?"
"I'll be very nice to you if you do," she purred.
"Nice? As in leaving us alone?" Jack asked earnestly. He liked his women a little less aggressive. A little more feminine. A little taller and slimmer. A lot less like a mirror.
"What are you drinking with this old geezer for?" the girl asked in annoyance. Something appeared to be bothering her. Apparently Jack was supposed to fall head over heals for her at first sight.
"Lass," said Hector with that tone Jack knew meant he was coming to an end of his limited patience. "I'll be askin' ye to show a little more courtesy when speakin' o' me."
"Nice hat," she smirked. "Why don't you go trim that scraggly beard and let me and Jack have some alone time?"
It was Jack's turn to look at Hector with an amused twinkle in his own eyes. He raised a brow in unspoken question to his old first mate. Hector was scowling with suppressed anger. The girl seemed pleased with such a reaction and tried to take Jack's mug again but was foiled when he slapped her hand.
"I think you should leave, lass," Jack said in a reasonable tone. "Before you get yourself into trouble."
"Trouble?" The young woman glanced disdainfully at Barbossa. "From him? I can handle him."
"Can you now, lass?" Jack chuckled.
The girl scowled at him. "My name's Jade. Not lass"
"Odd name that," Hector snorted.
"It's because of my eyes, gramps." Her scowl deepened. "You might have heard of me. I've got quite the reputation."
"For annoying people?" Hector scoffed.
"For killing them!" The girl stepped back from the bar and laid her hand on the rather ridiculously ornate hilt of her sword.
Hector narrowed his eyes and calmly sipped from his mug. Jack turned and gave her a speculative look.
"Well?" she demanded.
Hector rolled his eyes before answering. "Well what?"
"Aren't you going to draw your sword?" Her hand fidgeted on the hilt. Her green eyes were fever bright with anticipation. "You're afraid aren't you?"
A look passed between the two pirates before they broke out in peals of laughter. Jade turned red in the face and whipped out her blade. She lunged for Hector but in one smooth motion the Caspian Lord swept the hat from his head and brushed her weapon aside. Once she was off balance he stamped on her toes and splashed his rum in her face. Her blade clattered to the floor as she dropped with a squeal of pain and surprise.
"You bastard!" The girl raged massaging her foot. "You cheated! I'll gut you for that!"
Hector turned his back as she reached for her sword. Jack stepped on the blade and gave her a serious look.
"Lass," Jack began.
"Jade!" she screamed.
Jack closed his eyes and pursed his lips before going on patiently. "Jade, he just disarmed you with his hat and a splash of rum."
"So?"
Jack spoke as if to a child. "What do you think will happen to you if you make him angry enough to actually draw his blade?"
"I..." Jade seemed to stop and think for a moment. She wiped the rum off her face smearing the kohl on her cheeks. She said in a small voice, "But he cheated."
"Go home, girl," Barbossa said over his shoulder. "It's not worth dying for."
Jack slid her blade across the floor to her and turned away. After a moment Jade stood, sheathed her sword and retreated from the tavern with her proverbial tail between her legs.